The Short and the Tall of it

01.04.2012 -- This is the Life

2012-01-04T20:29:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from Christmas. Christmas was lovely--not stress free, but really nice.

I promise to blog about it LATER. I am including pictures from Christmas in this blog because, when I started this blog, I wanted to do my best to include images with text whenever I could. Today, I can include pictures from over a week ago more easily than any from today, so I will. But I will blog about Christmas LATER.

Charlie on Zoey

Naptime after grocery shopping

Saddle up, Chuck!

***

Tonight, after cleaning canned clam chowder from Charlie's eager face and body, after letting Charlie fall asleep in my arms in the quiet of a house without other children (Brian took Gabe and Lucy to get dinner), after convincing Gabe to visit the bathroom before putting on his new Spiderman pjs (while Brian read to Lucy), after moving our "operation" in order to keep Gabe company in the dark so he could or would fall asleep (while Brian stepped out to play late-night basketball)... I told Gabe a story.

This was a custom-crafted, 100% from-scratch story designed to keep his attention from straying: a Mom Special.

There was this horse, see--and it always helps my kids if they get to name the main character, so we had a horse named "Jake." Jake-the-Horse had a bit of an obsession with... Batman! (The last book Gabe chose was a Batman book--all crime-fighting and heroism.) Jake-the-Horse reads all the books he can about Batman (on the sly, because he doesn't want anyone to know). Jake-the-Horse dreams about one day meeting Batman. One night, Jake has a fantastic dream about having an indispensable role in helping Batman save the day. Alas, he wakes and has to get a grip on reality. With the help of his horse friend, Gabe-the-Horse, Jake-the-Horse again comes to appreciate his own life and his own hard work. However... (Dun dun dun.) One day, Jake's dream comes true. Jake sees a stranger approach, dressed in black. He...looks...like...Batman! Batman's motorcycle has been tampered with and he needs to go help stop a criminal from hurting people. He sees Jake, finds Jake's owner, gets permission to take Jake, and rides off to save the day. Jake-the-Horse is a hero, (prepared for this fateful adventure by a strong work ethic and a positive attitude) and has weekly visits with Batman for the rest of his life.

After telling this story, I think I've stretched it long enough to let Gabe fall asleep. He isn't moving. He has been quiet the whole time. It's dark so it's hard to tell... The story seems to have lasted ten or twenty minutes--I really piled it on! I am feeling a little proud, actually. A few good character-building themes, some good vocabulary, a decent story-arc with opening, climax and and a poignant, happy resolution...

After telling this story, Gabe rolls over and says to me, "Mom, Batman is silver."

Gabe in bilibo

For those of you who are on the edge of your seats, dying to know what happened after Gabe told me that Batman is silver: he rolled over and fell asleep, holding Charlie's ear.

12.12.2011 -- Quotable

2011-12-12T15:12:00.000-08:00

This morning has been one of the more challenging for me in recent memory. Following are some of the elements contributing to the excitement at the Tayler house this morning:

Refusal to go to school
Tantrums
Stopped-up kitchen sink filled with the contents of my dispos-all.
More tantrums and refusals

When I break it down like that, it seems really easy! Of course--if I stop to remember that on such a morning, it is obscenely rare that all three children are happy all of the time, and that I was trying to work on a time-sensitive project that requires a good amount of focus--I remember why I was struggling. It helped that eventually Gabe and Charlie took a nap at the same time, Brian came home to fix the sink, and Lucy eventually agreed to go to school.

Part of this project has involved a search for quotable thoughts on children in general. These are some that stood out for me today:

Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. ~Not Your Average Dictionary

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. ~Harold Hulbert

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. ~Christopher Morley

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. ~Franklin P. Jones

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. ~Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. ~Robert Brault

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~Phyllis Diller

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. ~Robert Gallagher

Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. ~Red Skelton

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. ~Frank A. Clark

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~Edgar W. Howe

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. ~Walt Streightiff

12.02.11 -- Cool Like James Dean

2011-12-02T08:42:00.000-08:00

I have a number of talents. Being cool is not one of them. I am way too enthusiastic to ever be truly cool. I can be quirky and funny and fantastic, lovable and maybe even lovely, but never truly cool.

It's okay. I've come to terms with it.

And don't get me wrong--I like cool people, the world might be less interesting without cool people--I just think that being cool and enthusiastic are mutually exclusive. I think being cool would be boring. But, hey, I've never tried it. I wouldn't know.

And how, you may ask, would a person start thinking about something like the mutual exclusivity of coolness and enthusiasm?

Lucy said to me the other day, "Mom, am I just like Dad when he was little?" She continued, hopefully, "I am crazy, right, and I'm always doing stuff like he did, right?"

Undoubtably, Lucy was thinking of the many times we have tried to understand Gabe's tendencies by comparing him with his dad at his age. This leads to comments like, "He finds every corner and leads with his head."

I had to think for a minute before I answered Lucy. I told her that she is a lot like her dad, but she is also like me in a lot of ways, and in some ways she is just like herself. She was pretty disappointed. I didn't have the heart to elaborate... Because hey, who doesn't want to be like their fantastic, super cool daddy? She doesn't "lead with her head" as much as Gabe does. She is enthusiastic around people in a way that feels very familiar. Gabe is enthusiastic, too.... Anyway. I'm splitting hairs.

Happy Holidays to all of the cool people who happen to read this, and to all of the enthusiastic people, too.

11.08.2011 -- Being Mormon

2011-11-08T15:04:00.000-08:00

Mormons have been in the news a lot lately. Of course, everything is relative, but...well, they have. It makes me want to add my two cents.

Every once in a blue moon, someone I care about who is unfamiliar with the LDS faith will ask me about it. I bungle it every time. The problem is that it is such a deep part of me that I struggle to find a starting point and any kind of linear thinking that explains it well. What ends up happening is sort of like trying to show someone an enormous map in the dark using a couple of flashlights. Some people are very good at articulating this kind of thing. I have never felt comfortable talking about it with people who are not of my faith.

Isn't that sad?

I remember a "discussion" about Mormonism I had with a loved one years ago. It actually sort of wounded me. Suffice to say that "faith" is not an action word in this person's life. I think that if "faith" were to appear in a personal dictionary, this person would add a footnote: see Naive, Gullible, Stupid.

Maybe this is one reason why I am so reluctant to talk candidly about the role faith has in my life. I never want to feel that way again. Actually, I do talk about faith--with people I think will understand. I don't put myself out there much, though.

I find it hard to separate myself from a third-person kind of view that alerts me to things that sound strange. Sort of like...Oh. "About two-thousand years ago, a baby boy was born to a virgin. He was the only son of God. He lived a perfect life, then was killed, but rose from the dead. Because of this, us mortals have a chance to spend the rest of time in heaven. Without Jesus, we wouldn't stand a snowball's chance."

What a ridiculous story!! And yet, I am not alone in this world when I say that the truth of this story is a cornerstone in my life. There are millions and millions of us who believe. There are millions of us who hold the Bible to be a sacred text. Sort of a looong letter from God (as told to prophets) to men and women, pointing us in the right direction.

The story of Joseph Smith, the restoration of Christ's church, and the Book of Mormon are equally important to me. They make just as much sense. But to tell you the truth, my own faith, if dissected, would show itself to be made up mostly of day-to-day happenings at my home, in my community, in the world, at church or through modern LDS publications (publication, revelation). If you can believe in a god or gods...if you can believe that God cared enough to let His Only Begotten Son suffer life and death on earth, why is it a stretch to believe that he cares enough now to provide guidance today?

To say faith is personal is too little, I think. I also think that it is possible that for some people, it might be painful in some way for me to talk about the role of faith in my life, but I really don't know. This faith has always been part of who I am. It brings goodness to my life. Every time I act as a better Mormon, I act as a better person: more kind, more willing to serve, more willing to share, more patient, more faithful, more understanding, more proactive, more truthful, more loving. More Mormon. I will always be human--I make mistakes every day. But I feel like I'm headed in the right direction.

If you find yourself wanting to know more about Mormonism, go to this site. You know those Mormon Messages? Those are propaganda, but they're honest and they're accurate. Most Mormons I know actually try to walk the walk. Those Mormon Messages are a good window into my Mormon soul. If you want to know more, then go to local meetings on Sunday, spend time with Mormons, meet with some LDS missionaries. ...Or I could try to explain it to you. Just turn off the lights and give me a couple of flashlights.

11.07.2011 -- Degrees of Success

2011-11-07T07:57:00.000-08:00

Happy 10 month birthday to my sweet Charlie. He had a rough night last night. Thank goodness I have a husband who helps me.

After trying to change my diet on Friday and failing by eating all kinds of sugar and treats, I needed to figure out something that would work for me. With a little thought, I figured out that trying to cut out so many problem foods (sugar addiction, anyone?) AND trying to keep calories in check was making me panic a little bit. So I decided that for the first bit, I would eat veggies, fruits, meat, nuts, but i wouldn't worry about how much I ate.

So far, so good! Saturday and Sunday have been good. I was expecting to get a headache sometime because I have in the past. It didn't set in until last night. I still have it, but I know it won't last forever.

Last night for dinner, we had turkey, butternut squash, pesto and green beans. This morning for breakfast, I had turkey, butternut squash and pesto. Pretty soon here, I will make myself a yummy shake with banana and berries and spinach, protein powder and soy milk.

It's amazing how you are able to notice the natural sweetness in food when you cut out sugar. Fruit is sweet, of course, but almonds are, too.

On Saturday, Charlie and I went to Logan to have a wedding dress party with lots of family for my cousin, Becca. We brought our wedding dresses and she tried them on, then we headed out to some local shops so she could try on other styles. Totally fun. I STILL feel grateful to my Aunt Lorna who served yummy salad and delicious minestrone soup that was so, so satisfying. It gave me hope that I could make the change.

After spending the afternoon with that wonderful group of people, I stopped at a shop to see if I could find frames for a project I have in mind. I found two barn wood frames that will work and got them at 60% off. Today I will get sheet metal for them and make them into magnet boards to put in the play area downstairs to satisfy the kids' urge to put stuff up on the walls.

I live such a glamorous life.

11.03.2011 -- Scared Out of my Mind

2011-11-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

*Gabe just told me that he wanted to "lip hug" me. He came very close and gave me a little smack on the lips while I was sitting at the computer.*

Fun fact about me: the degree to which I am responsible for an outcome personally, is inevitably proportionate to the degree of anxiety I experience leading up to said outcome. So why am I scared tonight?

Because ambition has raised it's ugly head and I am actually making a goal.

I want to drop a few pounds. I want to clean up my diet in order to look and feel better. After all, I am only getting older, chubbier...and so far, I have not seen any study that has proven cookie dough and cheese to make people healthier and happier. (Reality check: I do not eat only these things. If I did, I'm pretty sure my situation would be much, much worse than it is.)

Why now? I have all kinds of great examples to choose from. Brian is one. He has done an amazing job of eating better and exercising consistently, and it shows--not only physically. My dad is another wonderful example. He has endured his fair share of jokes about being a "rabbit," but If I could magically graft his diet into my own life, I would be ecstatic.

The latest example is a little off-the-wall, which is why it is garnering the attention of so many people around the world. A guy named Drew has gained 70 pounds in six months. Drew lives in Utah, has a job and a wife and two kids. He has "always been fit" and works as a personal trainer in addition to his normal gig as a neuromonitoring technician (responsible for monitoring a patient’s nervous system during back surgery). According to Drew, he tried to empathize with and understand his overweight clients, but he really couldn't. It always came down to, "You don't know what it's like to be overweight and trying to change your diet." This was the seed of Fit2Fat2Fit.

He is now ready to begin his journey from fat to fit by eating the right foods at the right times and exercising about an hour a day. If you didn't click on that link, do it now or soon. It's virtual rubbernecking...just can't not look at the damage this guy has done to his awesome physique in the name of compassion and inspiration...but it's rubbernecking with a cause! You may just get inspired!

Anyway, that commitment to change has me a little scared right now. I feel like I'm terrible at following through, so I avoid making commitments. I tell myself that this is to preserve the integrity of the really important stuff in my life, like my family. I have a whole theory about it. If you have a few hours to kill, let me know and I'll give you the full version. It might be a lot of bunk, or it may not. Time will tell, my friends. Time will tell!

So if I see you soon, and you offer me a doughnut, and I decline--just know that I'm working on being an adult: following through on a commitment, working toward a goal. My pantry and fridge are now stocked with all kinds of goodness. If you are really interested in what exactly, check out the shopping list here. Spinach shakes, people! Just FYI, I have blended and consumed my share of spinach shakes, but it has been a few months.

011.01.2011 -- Funny You Should Say That...

2011-11-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

Lucy: "Pioneers lived a long time ago in ancient times, the eighties."

Lucy: "Mom, can I take these electric candles down to my room and turn off the lights and make it dark and pretend that I'm... poor?"

It makes me a little sad to think that one day, I will have to drag details out of Lucy. She doesn't always offer many details about school or playing with her friends, but I still can get full-fleshed six-year-old thoughts out of her, and I love it.

So, if anyone needs Lucy right now, she is down in her room with the lights off using electric candles to look at her Halloween candy, pretending that she's poor.

10.27.2011 -- A Real Woman

2011-10-27T12:12:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, when I had noticeably dropped baby weight, Lucy looked at me and asked me to suck in my tummy. I did and she looked at me approvingly. "Yeah," she said. "Now you look like a real woman!"

If I were a real woman, my neighbors would never drop by and find breakfast still in the kitchen at 3 o'clock. My home would be spotless, dishes in the dishwasher or the cupboard, food in the fridge or the cupboard, not mouldering on the counter.

If I were a real woman, I would view my entire closet as wearable--not shun specific items because they show off my muffin top. Tee shirts would not be a viable option unless they were cute and girlie. I would be perpetually fresh and pink...like a rose.

If I were a real woman, I would have clean windows all of the time, dog and small children notwithstanding. I would never raise my voice and my poor, lucky husband would be at my beck and call...totally whipped and powerless before my whims.

At least some of the time I can make myself look like a real woman!

Maybe a "real woman" could have gotten her two-year-old dressed before one p.m. today. Not me. I'm just an imposter with a kid who (apparently) has a very limited choice of clothes which are not "weird." We honestly had to wait for the wash to process his "My Dad Rocks!!" shirt. The previously acceptable "Monster Dunk (you better watch out!)" shirt is no longer acceptable.

I keep wondering if I should just clear out all of the clothes he says are "weird." It would leave him with about four shirts and four pair of pants. But then, I think... what if it just gets worse and he selects a subgroup of these clothes? I purposely don't have all of his favorites clean all of the time, because I want him to branch out. Maybe for some people this would fall into the "Pick Your Battles" section of Parenting 101. I don't know. He doesn't wear about 80% of his clothes, and 90% of his clothes are hand-me-downs. Of course, like anyone, he's more tractable when his mood isn't spoiled by being tired or hungry or cold or hot, so he does branch out. Just not very often.

What would a real woman do? Have him pick out 5 shirts and 5 pants and pack the rest away for Charlie?

Speaking of Charlie!
He has his third tooth coming through and the fourth is just behind it. He's walking now about as much as he is crawling when he's hanging out, but if he really needs to get somewhere, he crawls. Bedtime might be his favorite time of the day, because his siblings hold still long enough for him to maul them. We have been comparing Charlie to a zombie for a long time because he lurches toward faces and tries to eat them. He also eats toes. He likes bikes and wheels and shoes and the dishwasher. He still has a little Jack-Jack separation anxiety when I leave him, but (I think) it's getting better.

Lucy has a little piano romance going on. She thinks it's cool and will go "practice." I taught her the names of the keys and taught her basic fingering. She likes to play chords and do modified scales. She is still liking gymnastics a lot. She's getting ready right now for a fun meet in November, so is practicing her routines in class. I don't see her practicing a lot at home. Although Lucy goes to gymnastics twice a week, she identifies herself as a soccer player. Her team this year changed their name every game. One week they were the Smurfs, one week the Blue Bats...you get the idea. In the last game of fall, she scored a goal. When she tells the story, she just giggles and shrugs her shoulders and says "I was the only one there, so I kicked it in."

In the last few days, Gabe has had a flip switched. If pressed, I would describe it as an overactive, destructive, slightly violent switch....but hey. No one asked me. He is very interested in jumping on things and leaping onto things and leaping off of things and throwing things and tipping big things over. When I ask him to please be quiet, or calm down, he likes to say, "I don't have to!" Lots of fun! I do feel like I've got one thing on Gabe right now. He hates lotion or cream and although he has very dry skin that gets chapped and needs some kind of help, he will not let me put anything on him. I have taken to putting a little Aquaphor on my fingers and "wrestling" with Gabe. As I wrestle, I smoosh his cheeks and face with the Aquaphor. Pretty sneaky, huh?

Gabe jumping on a chair, dressed in his My Dad Rocks shirt.

It's nice when Lucy is home because Lucy and Gabe are playing well lately. Charlie likes to get in on the action, too. They are good at including him, unless they are riding bikes or scooters or if they are on the trampoline.

A friend described being a parent as 49% torture, 51% pure joy. The percentages can go all sorts of ways but I agree with her. Some things do seem like torture, but the pure joy parts of it make the torture fade back. :) I am happy to say that although some days include some torturous times, I am grateful for my family a million times over. It's hard to imagine life without them.

10.18.2011 -- Bosom Buddies

2011-10-18T10:52:00.000-07:00

09.22.2011 -- Wisdom is as Wisdom Does

2011-09-22T10:23:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken on the way home from Lake Powell.
We stopped here with friends to eat and to break up the drive. Good times.

Part of the nighttime routine in our house is reading to the kids. They love it, we love it. Everyone's happy.

One of the things I like about it most is the conversations that arise when we get to a word that the kids aren't familiar with. These past few nights, Lucy and I have talked about wisdom. After trying a couple of different approaches, I explained wisdom this way: being smart about how you act.

"For example," I said, "What if you had a friend and were walking to school, and your friend wanted to walk with someone who you didn't want to walk with, and YOU wanted to walk with someone SHE didn't want to walk with?" (To my knowledge, this scenario hasn't played out, but it's right in line with some of the problems that color Lucy's life as a first grader.)

"You could ask anyone what two plus two is, and they could tell you the right answer, but it takes wisdom to figure out how to act when things get tricky."

There have been a couple of things that I've been thinking about lately that might qualify as wisdom.

The first is: the wisdom of casseroles. You might laugh, but it became very clear to me a couple of nights ago when I had chicken burning on the grill, a baby who urgently wanted/needed to be held/changed/fed, a two-year-old who wanted to be read to, and a daughter who needed help with her homework. The kids needed attention, the chicken needed attention, the sauteeing and steaming vegetables needed attention, and I was also trying to get the house cleaned up by telling my kids what to do. You can imagine, maybe, the level of peaceful bliss in the house which enveloped my sweet husband when he walked in the door.

Now, If I'd had a casserole going, the veggies would've been happily nestled next to the chicken, in no danger of getting either burned or overcooked, and ready to serve in the next 5 minutes or the next two hours. It would've been either in the oven or on the table--either way, it wouldn't have mattered because it would have been hot but not burned--and my hands and attention would have been freed to manage everything else.

That was my aha moment. I literally thought, "So this is why casseroles are a staple for moms with small children!" You may be wondering why it took me so long to figure that out. And in response, well... I got nothin'.

My next bit of wisdom is even less impressive: Parks are good.

After Lucy got off to school this morning, I took the boys to a local park. While I watched them play (and played along with them), I started to reflect of the difference between myself as a mother of one, and myself as a mother of three. When Lucy was tiny, I took her on a lot of hikes and a lot of walks. I just loaded her into a frontpack or backpack and took off.

Aside from one memory of her pointing to an especially lovely vista and saying "beautiful day" when she seemed way too young, I'm not sure how she would describe those hikes, but for me, it was wonderful. Wonderful, at least, until it wasn't.

She eventually got tired of riding and wanted to participate more actively. At that point, I would head out to a trail full of hope that I would get some miles in, and Lucy would insist on walking herself. I went from being able to go several miles in a morning to going maybe fifty yards.

So this morning, I found myself enjoying the low expectations of the park and the resultant good vibes. Kids get enough carrot or stick motivation in life, a park is a genius way to let them play as hard or as quietly as they wish.

If you take a child on a hike, poor time management can bite you in the backside. I know, because I has happened to me. In a quest for more time on the trail, I have endured more than one trip down with an exhausted, unhappy child. Contrast that with a park where you go, you play. You play as hard as you want and if you misjudge what ought to be the middle of your session, no one suffers! Genius.

I will still take my kids hiking with me. But, for now, at least--we will be going to more parks than trails.

Tayler news: Charlie has taken a total of three steps so far while I've been watching. He is very competent climbing stairs, but hasn't learned to go down more than one safely. He would not calm down last night until I let him pound on the keyboard (of this computer). He still hasnt cut any teeth, which is pretty new to us. Love that boy.

Summer

2011-08-11T12:03:00.000-07:00

We are home from our kids and Mom trip to New Hampshire. What a time. So much fun! So nice to be home with Brian.

A self portrait

Daring (and resigned) chicken with determined boy

Hey!

It was a really wonderful trip. I could write a book about it. It would be a very slow-paced book, but there is a market for slow paced books. (I know because I own some.) Highlights of the trip include:

Kids now swim like fish (Lucy without a lifejacket)
Made both blueberry cake and blueberry pie; shared with friends (family)
Outing to the Friendly Farm (with cousins!)
Mini Fair at Petiteborough
Lucy loves tubing (fast), Gabe likes tubing (sort of fast), Charlie likes riding in a boat
Lucy can kayak and canoe
Found 3 newts
Found 5 baby mice
Charlie started to crawl
Lucy lost another tooth
Gabe is now *really* potty trained, and can pee on trees
Ate ice cream at tea time at Toad Hall
Saw two frogs in the frog pond
Dinner and concert at Apple Hill
Sailing in Clown with Uncle Fred
Kids "drove" boats to hearts content
The thrill of fishing (check)

and...

drumroll!

...we are all still safe and sane!

Now to complete preparations for the school year. There is some arranging left to be done. We came home to a surprise: Brian had painted and assembled Lucy's room! Both Lucy and Gabe now have their own rooms. I just have to find everything a home (some things will be moving to D.I/Goodwill) and go through clothes so I know what we're working with, then, well... Never a dull moment!

Oh Yeah

2011-06-29T18:52:00.000-07:00

Here's the guy I went to Lake Powell with this month--I think I'm in LOVE!
Did I mention that I've been married to him for 13 years?
Okay, I'll admit that I love him (a lot).

So lucky!

06.29.2011 -- Simple Life

2011-06-29T16:33:00.000-07:00

These days, life around here is all about process. For example, it is about getting everyone and everything into the car without breakdowns or break-outs. It's about getting people fed or bathed. It's about learning not to freak out at the prospect of cleaning up a room. Any number of things can pose obstacles to these simple tasks: Poo, injuries, insults, hunger, thirst, distraction, clothing... all of these things can and do complicate life.

Every day, I wake up with a very simple mental list of things I would like to get done, and I work towards that. On my list are things like making beds, reading, doing dishes, making dinner, going to Lucy's Gymnastics class. All very ho hum. But don't let it fool you, it can be very exciting!

Today, Lucy pulled a WWF move on Gabe and (from what I gather) slammed his face into the kitchen counter. Why? Well, short story: She was defending herself. Long story: Gabe requested noodles for lunch. I made noodles for him and for Lucy. After I put the bowls of noodles on the counter and Lucy started to eat hers, Gabe became convinced that Lucy was eating his bowl of noodles and attacked her. He got an ugly goose egg between the eyes and very apologetic sister in return. She even got him a bag of ice. It took him about five minutes to get over it, then he ate his noodles happily beside Lucy.

So, although our lives are pretty simple right now, it doesn't mean things are always simple.

One of my biggest challenges right now is the interaction between Gabe and Lucy. Gabe is tricky. He is busy being independent and taking offense. Lucy has a tendency to set him off by saying or doing something innocently (most of the time it's innocent, anyway). Gabe refuses or protests what Lucy does or says or offers and, in his frustration hurts Lucy by hitting her, biting her, or pushing her. So, it's tricky because it's not her fault that Gabe hurts her, and yet she could prevent it a lot of times by listening to and respecting her 2 year old brother. What to do?

I try to tell Gabe that it's not nice to hit. I tell Lucy that she needs to work on listening to Gabe (he usually says "no" or "don't" before he hurts her), and respond to him like a five year-old, not like a two year-old. We often walk through scenarios after the dust is settled to find a better way to do things. This leaves me satisfied with the resolution most of the time, but won't be surprised if my methods leave them with some sort of scarring that I can't predict.

Something else that drives Gabe to violence (okay, I better re-word that...he just gets a little rough-n-tumble): other family members are too involved with something else (a game, a book, a discussion, a craft) to give him attention. He wants to wrestle or fight, not just watch someone else do something. His solution: get your attention by attacking.

This past week, we have been dealing with pink eye and potty training. When we quarantined ourselves for conjunctivitis, I figured we might as well have a potty party. To kick it off in style, I rented some superhero DVDs and showed them to Gabe. He had been avoiding the potty for a while, but dropped his pants and diaper gladly to watch Superman and Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl. (Lucy didn't complain either.) Gabe also pottied through The Incredibles and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

I am a little reluctant to actually type this out, but I think Gabe is actually potty trained. He has been taking himself to the bathroom for the past few days. There are still accidents, and sometimes he wants to wear a diaper instead of his new Spiderman Underpants, but there is a DEFINITE trend. *Note to self: do not underestimate the power of a toddler being able to choose his or her own bathroom accessories at the store. Gabe got new underwear and a new potty seat.

My greatest joys these days are as simple as my challenges. A little man making a beeline to the bathroom to get his own bum on a toilet, or his fierce hug and sincere "I wuv you, Mom." The light in Lucy's eyes when she finishes reading a book all by herself or how she confidently cares for her brothers. Connecting with the awesome person-in-miniature that is Charlie or just holding his perfect little body as he sleeps.

I.love.these.kids. Life is good.

05.11.2011 -- MotivIncentive

2011-05-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

This costume is the carrot I am dangling in front of Gabe for potty training. We'll see if it works.

05.08.2011 -- Virtual Congregation

2011-05-08T07:32:00.000-07:00

In Mormon culture, it's tradition to bless babies on the first Sunday in a month, or Fast Sunday. Fast Sunday is when the Sacrament Meeting is dedicated to the sharing of testimonies over the pulpit. This often facilitates a testimony from parents. We are breaking with tradition to bless Charlie today because my parents are in town. Because it's not Fast Sunday, it's not a day to give testimony in front of a congregation, but I want to do it anyway. Congratulations: you just joined my virtual congregation!

Yesterday, a niece of mine was baptized and confirmed a member of the LDS church. Our little family was in attendance, along with much of her 'big' family. I missed a lot of what we were there to support because Gabe has been a very energetic little boy lately (read: terror, wrecker, menace). A two-year-old talking loudly about fruit snacks does not contribute much to a quiet atmosphere, so we spent a lot of time in the halls of the church where Gabe could run and talk to his heart's content.

Afterward, when others commented on the beauty of Abby's baptism and confirmation, I couldn't help thinking about the difference in experiencing church functions as a parent (or grandparent) and the experience without small children. In my opinion, or experience, it builds a different kind of testimony--almost purely practical.

In college and early in my married life, I could ponder theology to a certain degree, and appreciate the richness of intricate explorations of religion and spirituality. Nowadays, prayer and faith are simple tools I rely on to make my days go better. Today, I look at my children and am overcome with awe and gratitude. I use whatever brain power I have pondering their futures and how I can be a better Mom. I appreciate the richness of my role as their mother.

...

Amen.

04.20.2011 -- Feeling Adventurous?

2011-04-20T15:19:00.000-07:00

Of my cooking, it has been said, "When [I'm] on, [I'm] on." And it happens to be true. When I'm on, I can turn out some pretty good stuff. Of course, the rest of this evaluation (implied but unspoken) turns out to be equally true. When I'm off, I'm off.

This is one of the reasons we don't entertain more than we do. A big one. The other big one, I would say is Brian's lack-of-desire-to-entertain. I don't think he thinks about it much, so almost always, if we do have people over, it's pretty much all on me. That doesn't mean he won't help out, but it is obvious that when it is my idea, it is me who does most of the work--with the exception of clean-up. My sweet husband rolls up his sleeves and cleans up after dinner, wheter it's Thanksgiving or just a random Thursday. Such a good man!

Yep. When I'm on, I'm on, but when I'm off, it's time to call for pizza. This means that if I consider having people over to dinner, I am potentially subjecting them to a night of bad food. Hard to do. This is why, I guess, mostly I invite people over who I am confident possess a degree of unconditional love for our family.

I once made a casserole with spam, eggs, noodles, condensed mushroom soup, bread, brussel sprouts, copious amounts of Velveeta, and an abundance of ketchup. It was served cold. I served it inverted on a platter, garnished with fresh brussel sprout leaves and a big squirt of ketchup. There are pictures. The ketchup was the kicker, because our friend and dinner guest for the evening, Jami, has an unnatural fear of condiments. She literally has never tasted most condiments and does not like to touch them.

To be fair and honest, no one ever actually tasted that 'Fiesta Bake.' I cracked up (hysterically) before Jami got it to her mouth. I think, to her, it ended up being something like a near-death experience. That Fiesta Bake was the center of an elaborate plan to freak out those new friends of ours and test their mettle. (Now that I think about it, it was a clever way to induct them into dinner at our house. As bad as dinner could get, it would never hold a candle to that Fiesta Bake!) I clearly have issues--let's just take a moment to respect that.

Know what? In retrospect, the funniest part of that night is that the "real" dinner, which was in the oven, was salmon. Our friend JT hates fish, unless it's sushi. We didn't learn that until later. He and Jami were true troopers that night and have been ever since. They even enlisted the help of her parents to get us back with a terrible, terrible breakfast involving uncooked beans (or something). A moment of silence in respect for the terrible breakfast (which had a name which I have forgotten), and the fiesta bake, please.

There was another time it got bad with Jami and JT. Until I have time to fully flesh out this story, let's just say that it involved me trying to pass venison off as beef in a bean soup, and that it did not pass. We ordered pizza. That was my first time trying to use venison (and probably my last).

Maybe you're wondering what prompted this post about culinary disaster. Are you? This afternoon, I made (deep breath) peanut butter oatmeal ginger chocolate chip cookies. Interesting. No, you may not have the recipe, because there isn't one. And is it another disaster? The kids like them, maybe not a disaster, but an adventure.

04.15.2011 -- Love, Chopped Liver

2011-04-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

A few thoughts:

After moving chairs back into their regular positions around the dining table, I realized that I want to remember this: Lucy and Gabe are so enamoured with their father that they want to sit *right* *beside* *him* at dinner. Me? Chopped liver. (Liver is nutritious and thrifty!) Just to clarify, Brian sits at the head of the table. Normally, this is a spot for one, but lately, our kids have challenged that paradigm and have decided that there's room for two: one Daddy and one Jelly Bean, or one Daddy with one Boone. (This is fine with me. I know my kids are with me all day. I know that they love me too.)

We owe a lot to Star Trek.
But seriously, folks. After explaining to Lucy the other day that when I was a kid, phones were attached to the wall and didn't play music and no one texted, televisions were gigantically fat etc... I remember something somebody wrote (which I read) that pointed out the role that science fiction plays in directing inventive minds. Dream it, do it. On Star Trek, they were using communicators (Blue Tooth headsets) and touch screens to get things done a long time ago. Thanks, Gene Roddenberry!

On a final note, unless I was too sleepy to notice, I think Charlie slept through the night last night! (10 - 6) I'm not holding my breath until this happens again.

Happy Friday!

I Remembered

2011-04-08T18:28:00.000-07:00

Just read this on a friend's blog and wanted to put it somewhere so I can read it again:

I Remembered

There never was a mood of mine,
Gay or heart-broken, luminous or dull,
But you could ease me of its fever
And give it back to me more beautiful.
In many another soul I broke the bread,
And drank the wine and played the happy guest,
But I was lonely, I remembered you;
The heart belongs to him who knew it best.

~Sara Teasdale

(On second thought--It's silly to say that I wanted to put it here to be able to find it. I could always go look at that blog. I guess i put it here because I like it a lot, and I think good poetry should be shared.)

04.08.2011 -- Baby Wearing

2011-04-08T17:55:00.000-07:00

The downside to baby wearing is this: Although it is convenient to have a baby strapped to your chest, and facilitates housekeeping and caretaking of older children, every once in a while, you may find yourself looking down at the baby and making eye-contact. At this point, said baby may decide to smile at you and goo adorably. Most babies at this point in their development will not be very articulate. If one were to translate the look and expression from the worn baby, it may be something like this: "Hi there! I like to be with you! I am very cozy and enjoy what we're doing here. Want to smile at each other for a while?"

"My goodness!" you will say to yourself, "Here I am going about my business, having forgotten what a charming person is attached to my chest!" You then will certainly doubt, at least momentarily, that the housekeeping and sandwich making and laundry folding you have done were more important or better than having a staring/smiling contest with the small charming person you haven't thought of in an hour.

Thought you all ought to know.

Hoop Envy (March 2011)

2011-03-31T10:50:00.000-07:00

03.31.2011 -- Obsession

2011-03-31T08:45:00.000-07:00

Lucy is obsessed.

Okay, so preoccupied would be much a more accurate word, but it doesn't have the same ring to it, does it? No, dear reader, it does not.

I was reflecting yesterday on her past obsessions. Dressing pretty (okay, prettily in skirts or dresses), painting nails (finger and toes). That's it, really. Somehow, it's a big relief when these things pass. Lucy is now very happy in jeans and a t-shirt. They don't even have to be pink. She hasn't mentioned painting nails to me in at least a month, and is currently polish-free.

Lucy's current preoccupation is with her room.

Last summer, she started asking when we were going to move. I took her ball and ran with it and started worrying about all kinds of things: What would make her want to move?! Why was she unhappy here? Was it a social thing? Did I need to intervene? Would she tell me the details of this situation?

Turns out that she wanted a prettier room.

Brian has been fostering this desire in hopes that it will lead to more space in our own bed, as it is not uncommon for us to end up with six bodies in our bed on any given night. Usually, the number is much more manageable, but our kids (and dog) all seem to gravitate to our bed.

Brian has suggested to Lucy that she and Gabe could move to rooms in the basement and paint them any color they want. She wanted to go shopping for paint this past Sunday. We settled for making a list of things that she wanted in her room. This list included a lamp, bunk bed, and new curtains. She thought we could use her current quilt or find a new one. For me personally, watching her in this state of hyper-planning is fun. It's very foreign to me and extremely entertaining, however, there comes a point where it get to be a little much. See, Lucy is a talker. She can talk a blue streak.* She could talk both ears off an elephant. When she gets so incredibly focused on and excited about one thing, it's a little intense. She literally went to bed talking about her room and woke up talking about her room. Brian took Lucy and Gabe to get paint swatches the other night, so the streak continues, albeit to a lesser degree.

I would be fine if this preoccupation passes without painting the walls blue and pink and purple and yellow and green, but a big part of me wants to see this plan of hers (and her daddy's) come to fruition. I'm proud of that girl.

In other news, Gabe is accepting more variety in his wardrobe but still demands that he make the executive decision. Maybe it's that I (and Brian) are getting better at how and what we offer. Probably all of the above. Gabe is into "hoops" still, also bikes and skateboarding. He is able to make most shots on the hoop that he got for his birthday, and is his own cheering section. He's a talker, too, and it's fun to hear him echo Lucy's part in all conversations. Gabe got a bad (terrible sounding) cough--which he passed on to his little brother --so we're trying to lay low for a while. A trip to the doctor for Charlie was uneventful, so overall, we're happy.

(As for Charles, I am enjoying him(!!!), and hogging him a little bit.)

*From word-detective.com: “Blue streak,” means “with great intensity or speed” and originated in the US in the early 18th century. In all likelihood, the term [arose] by analogy to the speed and force of a bolt of lightning, especially in “talk a blue streak,” meaning to speak rapidly and excitedly.

03.02.2011 -- Tell Me The Truth

2011-03-02T08:52:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, I spoke with someone for the first time in about 16 years. One of the questions she asked me was, "How do you like being a mother?" She prefaced her question with, "Maybe I shouldn't ask this right now..." (the implication being that maybe I like it less with a newborn baby?)

Without hesitation (because I've been thinking a lot about this lately), I answered, "I love it." "Honestly," I said, "I consider it one of the biggest luxuries ever to have my children snuggled up to me and to just spend time with them." As I type this, Charlie is crying on my lap, and Lucy is waiting for breakfast. I wasn't able to finish my work-out this morning (I'll try to complete it later?), but I wouldn't change places with anyone.

(I got a new computer for Christmas --thanks, BT!--and I haven't figured out how to access the pictures uploaded, so for now, I will be using pictures taken from the computer itself.)

02.20.2011 -- Lessons from Granny

2011-02-20T19:53:00.000-08:00

Lessons I learned from my Granny.

Details are important, but people are more important. Details make a difference. If you can have cut flowers, have them. A hot entree is better served on warmed plates. Spending time cutting carrots in a precise julienne is not a waste of time. Yes, details are important. As good as she was at details, though, Gran was gracious and kind in the implementation of her designs.

Viewing people in their best light. Years ago as a kid, I was playing in Gran's room, just spending time with her. She started going through some snapshots and included me. We came across a few that she put into the garbage can, saying, "I don't think we need to keep pictures that aren't flattering to people, do you?" Honestly, the idea was completely new to me--that you could select and keep only good pictures. And why not? I like to think that those bad pictures in the trash may have been a microcosm of a world view which allowed little room for memories where loved ones were not at their best.

There, but for the grace of God, go I. Gran was not the first person to utter this axiom. I have heard it from others, yet, for some reason, I always associate this with her. As pulled-together and as blessed as she was on so many levels, I never, never got the impression that she thought she was better than any other person, or that she was more deserving.

Finding a way. As my grandparents grew older, my Granddad's hearing grew worse. He lost his ability to easily hear the naturally higher tones of Granny's voice. One of my favorite memories of Granny was the way she communicated with my Granddad when he was having trouble hearing her. If he didn't hear her, she would repeat herself, but with her voice lowered a few octaves so it sounded like she was imitating a man. Funny? Yes. She found the humor in it, too, milking it a little for an audience with a twinkle in her eye--but it worked. To me, it is a perfect example of her willingness to cooperate--to step outside herself. From this, I learned not to let pride or convention get in the way of something truly important, like talking with your spouse.

Making do. Granny had a collection of beautiful hand-painted dishes which she brought home from one of her trips abroad. These dishes were used for all kinds of meals. She loved them and she used them. Because they got used, they were sometimes broken. When I set the table for my Granny, we always used plates and bowls which had been carefully reconstructed by my grandfather. These broken-and-mended dishes were used indiscriminately along with the perfect dishes, and there were never any apologies about it. From this, I learned that there was no shame in using imperfect or rehabilitated things.

02.17.2011 -- Big Sigh

2011-02-17T15:52:00.000-08:00

About a year and a half ago (wow, time goes fast), I spent a few weeks in the east and got to spend some time with one of grand mothers. My grandmothers are phenomenal, AND grand. This wasn't the last time I got to spend time with my Granny. (Granny for her, is an especially ironic name, considering how perpetually youthful and modern she is in my eyes.) It wasn't the last time by far, but it was a really special time, and I will always think of it as my last "time" with her.

She died this week.

Sadness.

It didn't take me long to realize that my sadness was 100% selfish, though. If I could choose a way to die, I would happily sign up for a double helping of how she went: having lived a long, full life, surrounded by loved ones and with time to say goodbye.

She is definitely one of my heroes. Always. I've always loved her name, mostly because of who she was. I would have named Lucy after her, but the name wasn't on my and Brian's list of common loves.To me, the name Rosamond will always belong to a beautiful heroine, well-read and well-traveled, but even better loved. A woman with an eye and a heart for beauty in things and in people.

Love you, Gran.

02.14.2011 -- Khalil Gibran On Love

2011-02-14T21:26:00.000-08:00

“When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God." And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
and to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.”

I did this on my iPad, and it took way too much time. I also tried to add my own text after explaining why I posted what I did (above). That text is on my iPad, and I will add it later. That's probably the last time I try to post from my iPad.

02.02.2011 -- Wheels That Come Off and Precious

2011-02-02T18:53:00.001-08:00

Tonight, in an effort to promote literacy in my family, I had Lucy and Gabe sit down to write. Lucy started to write some of her high frequency words from school then drew a picture of herself. This turned into a note for her dad. Gabe scribbled. While they worked, I decided it wouldn't hurt for me to write something, too.

In this stream-of-consciousness writing, I began to realize why the "wheels have come off" of our little bus this week. There are a lot of reasons:

It's early-out week for SEP conferences. (I haven't figured out what SEP stands for: Student Educator Parent?) The schedule is early out each day, which means that our day begins earlier every day and Lucy is in school for only 2 hours every day. Now, I start to get ready to leave the house a minimum of 1 hour before I aim to leave, so early-out for a week ends up being pretty bad. (Add to this scheduling mess a two-year-old who is accustomed to taking his nap (conveniently) when I usually drop Lucy off for school, but who will not fall asleep when I drop her off during the short schedule, and you really add to the mess.) Gabe missed his nap completely on Monday, and boy, did everyone pay! I'm surprised he didn't lose his voice with all of the screaming and crying he did when we (mostly Brian) tried to get him to bed.

Another factor this week has been Brian--there have been huge changes at work and he's trying to get his normal work done in addition to accommodating all of the changes. This all translates into longer hours, which means longer hours for me... And did you know that "we" don't like to eat without Brian? We don't. I am willing to compromise once in a while, but Lucy always waits for her daddy. This means that, even though the kids get hungry at 5pm, we wait until their favorite person (Daddy) gets home at 6, 7 or even later. On one hand, it gives me more time to get dinner and the house together, on the other hand, it means more time being a single mother. All things considered, it's probably a wash, stress wise, but it adds to the general mess.

Where the disorder is most evident is the laundry room. I keep up with laundry sometimes, but most of the time, it's one of the first things to fail. Right now, for example, we have a lot of clean laundry, it's just all piled together. ..And I am blogging. See how I am?

This brings me to my next thought:

Lucy brought home a book from school today. It's just a little paperback copy of The Magic Treehouse. We've already read almost half of it. It was a gift from her classmate, Remy, in honor of their classmate, Eliza. (I think Remy is Eliza's cousin.) On the front of the book is a large red sticker that says "Eliza's Wish" on it. I've seen this sticker before--on a book in our pediatrician's office.

The first time I read the story behind Eliza's Wish in the doctor's office, Lucy asked me why I was crying. Today, I made a connection in my poor little brain, and Lucy asked again why I was crying. Eliza is in Lucy's kindergarten class. I knew Eliza and her family were special before, but I know more now.

Follow this link to learn more about Eliza and her AMAZING family. ( And that is my excuse for blogging instead of putting away laundry.) Life is short and precious.

Short and precious!

01.30.2011 -- Funny Kids...

2011-01-30T12:15:00.000-08:00

Some things that I don't want to forget:

Lucy calls mayonnaise "homemade." This may be due to a story I recently told Brian about homemade mayonnaise.

Lucy uses the word university for universe, as in, "You are the best mom in the University!"

Today when recounting the nativity story, Lucy got to the part about the inn which was full and said, "Mary and Joseph got to the P.E.M. and it was full, so they stayed in the stable."

Gabe does not like his pants too high on his waist. When he feels his pants are too high, he says, "No Grandma!" Not "No, Grandma!" Although I'm not exactly sure what he means, it comes off as, "I'm not wearing my pants like Grandma wears hers!"

Yesterday, Gabe serenaded me and Lucy. He stood tall on the ottoman and sang our names (and Charlie's), arms wide open, with a lovely vibrato at the end. Maybe the kid has perfect pitch: he tells me, "No singing!" all the time.

Lucy can hardly keep herself away from Charlie. She is drawn to him and fawns over him gently declaring her love for each and every part of him. For example, "I just love the shape of Charlie's head...and his ears (they're so perfect and tiny)!!"

Gabe is a little different: Gabe wants to hold Charlie as much as Lucy does, but he's satisfied with a few second's worth of assisted brother holding. Gabe does croon over Charlie, but he's much more likely to run to Charlie and shout, "Charlie!" or "baby brother!" in his face.

The past few days, Gabe has developed a routine where he stomps around with his chest puffed out saying, "Giant!!" When we move out of his way with fear in our eyes, it makes a huge grin appear on his face.

Charlie

2011-01-16T13:15:00.000-08:00

01.16.11 -- A Drop in the Bucket

2011-01-16T12:09:00.000-08:00

So much to say.

There's a new person living here. He's very sweet. His name is Charles. He goes by Charlie, mostly.

As for names and naming, I have this to say. Brian and I are either serious rebels or serious ingrates... Why? We have broken tradition. We have given our children (mostly) their own names and no one elses. There is a long standing tradition among upstanding standers of naming people after people. Well, we had a lot of people we wanted to honor by naming our kids after them, but we ended up *not.* Here's my theory: There are so many people that we hope our children will emulate, that we couldn't choose between them all, so we struck out on the less traveled path of names. But really, it comes down to me. I am the one who is so particular about names. I'm almost a little superstitious about them. Well, superstitious wouldn't really be the right word. I can't help but think of the meaning, is all--and the origin, and the sound of the whole name and the initials, etc. And then, of course, there's no accounting for taste. I am a fan of traditional names, and Brian leans more to unusual names. This is why our kids have traditional first names and less traditional middle names. Our thinking was that if they ever start to hate their boring first names, they can always start going by their funky middle names. Another way to see it is that we (I) are (am) not brave enough to give them a truly different name as a first name.

Anyway, there is obviously a lot more for me to write in order to get up to date on things around here--a birth story, for example... But this is what I've got for now.

12.25.2010 -- Christmas

2010-12-25T06:54:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here alone in a very quiet house. I can hear the refrigerator. Lucy just squeaked in her sleep. Other than that, all of the noise comes from me, but I'm being very quiet. Not like yesterday.

Yesterday, I woke up convinced that our house smelled like dog. No offense to our sweet dog, Zoey or to other dogs out there, or to individuals who love the smell of dogs, but it wasn't really what I was going for, so I broke out the vacuum while the rest of the house was asleep and sucked up all the dog hair I could before I went to do some squats and jumping pull-ups. (That sounds funny, but it's true.) When I got home, I had time to give Zoey a good shower before I cleaned up some more. Brian asked me seriously yesterday, "Val, are you nesting?" Funny. (And as to the answer, only time will tell!)

So I'm trying to be nice this morning, allowing everyone else to sleep; and I get to wait. How long? Twenty minutes? Two hours? More than likely, I will be waiting closer to two hours for the rest of the family to rouse. Gabe was up with a stuffy nose, but after a tantrum (7.5 out of 10 for intensity), is back to sleep snuggled in with his Daddy. I haven't blogged for a while, so here I am!

Last night, Lucy realized that she hadn't sent off a letter to Santa, so we composed one on the computer. Here's the list that came out last night (it has changed some since she started answering peoples' requests to know what she wants from Santa):

Cheerleading, soccer clothes , and a beauty salon for her doll, Julie
Fuzzy socks *
Locket necklace (with her mom and dad inside)
A red and black ladybug PillowPet *
Fake snow for her doll to play in
A doll angel
Pretend roses
Footie PJs (three pair, please) *
A beautiful Christmas dress with glitter on it *
A smelly candle
A picture of Santa and Mrs. Claus

In addition to this, Lucy has requested:
A pretend gun, a pair of fuzzy socks with racecars on them, a big play pot and a pretend plant to water--on behalf of Gabe.

For Brian, Lucy asked for two (real) small shovels, red and black.

For her mother? Lucy asked for a "comfy place for her to sleep, like a bed."

This brings me to my sleeping situation. Pretty early on in this pregnancy, I asked Brian to bring the love sac upstairs so I could sleep there. It was the perfect place for me to sleep and get relief from my only real complaint about pregnancy: heartburn. About a month ago, the love sac was a little hard for me to crawl out of, so I tried sleeping in bed, but found that it was difficult to roll over because I sort of stuck in the memory foam. I ended up on the couch. I also occasionally end up in bed with Lucy, because I am aware of (or think I am) how fast she is growing up and I've regarded those hours as a few stolen moments of fast-disappearing snuggle time.

So for Christmas, my (o-so-sweet) daughter has requested a place for me to sleep. Bless her heart. It has been working out better for me to sleep in my own bed, and with Lucy's request to Santa in mind, I actually slept in my own bed last night. Yay!

***

After the house is asleep.

I need to fill in the blanks, but let me just say that today has been phenomenal. So good. So nice. So magical. Christmas is for children, and we have two of them!

Lucy got almost nothing on her "list," but was thrilled anyway. Just like on her birthday and at Christmas last year, she was incredibly excited about everything and declared that many of the gifts were "just what she always wanted." *She got fuzzy socks, a unicorn PillowPet from GrandmaJudy, one pair of footie PJs (not Christmas themed), and some very fancy dresses (for dress-up).

As the main shopper, I feel like I got it right with the amount of gifts for the kids, and that all of what they received will be fun and good for them.

Gabe was very happy and obviously liked his tool kit, Duplo Legos, scooter and Mickey Mouse pjs a lot.

Brian spoiled me, which is normal around here. (Sounds so trite to say he "spoils me." Maybe instead, I should say that he got me way more than I needed or asked for, but that I really love what he gave me...and it wasn't just gifts--enough bragging, already!) We were fortunate to be surrounded by people we love, which made the day that much better. It was, as has been said before, and certainly by better people: a day for the record books.

(I woke up first today and now am going to bed last. I guess I just don't want to let this day go.)

...

Non sequitur about birthdates: A few weeks ago and even a few days ago, I was pretty down on the idea of having a Christmas baby. HOWEVER, today, I have found myself sincerely thinking that it would be a lot of fun. The difference is that I know a family who has twins who were born on Christmas and they celebrate a half birthday (in June). That's what I would want to do. All kinds of solutions to all kinds of "problems."

12.06.2010 -- Mickey Mouse

2010-12-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

Gabe has developed a thing for Mickey Mouse. I got him a retro t-shirt with a bunch of Disney character heads on it, and he calls it his "mimouse" shirt. He has the tiniest lisp which is HEARTMELTING. When I help him put this shirt on, I can't help but think that there is the slightest resemblance between Gabe and the mouse.

(As long as I'm making a point of comparing, I may as well point out that it's this more modern version of Mickey Mouse with eyebrows that makes me think of Gabe.)

12.02.2010 -- In Review

2010-12-02T10:20:00.000-08:00

I've recently wrapped up a big project: scrapbooks. I do it digitally (good t-shirt), so it's a little different, but it took a lot of time. This gave me an opportunity to review our lives from when Lucy was a toddler on. (I had a little catching up to do.)

Like moving, I think this kind of review is something that is so beneficial that everyone should do it every few years. When we have moved in the past, we have gotten rid of a lot of dead weight, much of what we didn't need or use any more ended up at DI (Goodwill) or recycled. That's what I mean by the benefit. When else do regular people have the desire or dedication to sift through the inevitable accumulation of extra stuff that is collected when they put down roots? (Pregnancy, maybe. I'm gearing up for another little purge of my own here in the next few days.)

Well, in reviewing and trying to give a sense of order to the past few years of our family life, I have gotten a renewed sense of optimism, funnily enough. Right now, I am managing to do more than put on shoes to exercise, but putting on my shoes still leaves me short of breath. It has done me good to see pictures that show that things get back to normal after pregnancy, or at least that they can.

Another thing that stood out for me after reviewing thousands of pictures is how many pictures we have that I love and how many of these show our two children being sweet and loving toward each other. They are kind to each other every day, but there is also conflict. While I don't take pictures of them in conflict, there is still enough proof of their loving relationship that it makes me think that it will continue. They are 5 and 2--how's that for extrapolation? Yes, I may be stretching it, but it still leaves me with that impression.

We are sick this week. It started at Gabe's birthday party. He had a lot of fun, but did seem a little cranky. When the dust settled on Sunday, we took his temperature and found him fevered. It's been on and off fevers and general malaise all week. We went to the doctor yesterday for a pre-scheduled well-check visit where the doctor said he was fine, but/and he is down again today.

I was reading a little yesterday before going to bed and I came across Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk, Of Things That Matter Most. In the talk he points out the wisdom and importance of slowing down, especially when our lives face "turbulence." Combined with a podcast I listened to recently about a method to establish bonds between troubled adopted children and their adoptive parents--I want to say attachment parenting, but that may not be right...

Anyway, with the combination of these two bits of informational input, it occurred to me that when our children or other loved ones are laid low by illness or something else, it really is an opportunity for us to serve them more closely and re-forge the bonds that hold us together. I've always maintained that being sick serves us in making us grateful for our health, but now I'm thinking that the appreciation for health is very small change compared to the challenging opportunity we have to really serve our loved ones and re-establish those important connections that hold us together.

Now, I'm going to go hold my sick (baby) boy, who is two years old.

11.27.2010 -- Milestone

2010-11-27T10:56:00.000-08:00

From Gabe's birthday

Gabe's birthday tomorrow!

He is so darn cute!

He says he wants a vanilla cake ("nilla.")

I had forgotten how determined and persevering he has proven himself to be. This is something I noticed when he was a baby. When he was working on rolling over, or grabbing his feet. Whatever it was, he went after it whole-heartedly.

Now he is after physical independence. (Da da daaaa.)

Eleven Random Things That You May Not Have Known About Me

2010-11-27T10:32:00.000-08:00

1- I have a secret belief that I, personally, know and am surrounded by, the most interesting and praiseworthy people on the planet. These are people in my neighborhood, in my family (near and far) and my far-flung friends. The kicker to this belief is that I ALSO believe that the same thing is true about everyone else. I know. Impossible. But true.
2- I am in love with words. I love to read and to write, to listen and to talk. I spend a decent amount of energy suppressing or delaying my urges to read, write, or talk. Listening is less of a challenge to suppress; I use podcasts and audiobooks as an outlet.
3- My kids are the cutest and the best and the most talented. The kicker is, so are yours.
4- I love Christmas but am lazy and have a bad attitude about Christmas decorations, at least when it comes to me and my own house. That said, I do appreciate the storybook loveliness of a well-done Christmas mantle and tree--even if I'm the one that puts it up and takes it down.
5- My favorite holiday is Thanksiving, because of the people and the stuffing.
6- I secretly love and admire you more than is appropriate to indicate. Sometimes it leaks out, and that's why I act strangely at times.
7- I almost never willingly re-read books or re-watch movies.
8- I love music and (dancing and singing), but only really feel comfortable dancing ad singing in front of my kids. We'll see how long that lasts.
9- In many ways, I have the stereotypical mentality of an elderly person. For example, I really have to work to implement standards for myself as far as self-presentation goes, and to motivate myself, I tell myself that it's for my family's sake that I should not wear shapeless sweats to the grocery store.
10- I love to draw. One of my favorite things to draw is profiles of people. Not portraits, but made-up profiles. I like to see how wide a range of looks I can represent with a simple line drawing. I think I started doing this about 15 - 20 years ago.
11- I have an unnatural affection for games. Not "counting, move-your-piece games" but "deeply involving, move-your-brain games."

11.22.2010 -- Snowy Sunday Recap

2010-11-22T09:01:00.000-08:00

How sad. One post per month?

Yesterday was pretty wonderful. We got a lot--A LOT--of snow.

Brian and the kids spent part of the morning downstairs watching television. This is something I'm not opposed to, as it is a true break for me, and something they all seem to enjoy. I made puff-up pancakes, then we all went outside while Brian cleaned the walks and driveway with the snowblower. Lucy used the opportunity to get to know the new guy next door, Tyler. I spent every moment with Gabe, who seemed to think it was a perfect time to ride every bike and "bike" in our growing collection.

We made it to church. Late, but not egregiously so, and Lucy gave a talk in Primary. Such a people person. She is quite composed and effective in front of a crowd when she is assigned a talk in sharing time. I find it amusing that I can use her opportunity to talk as leverage when I negotiate with her. As in, "Lucy, that's fine if you don't want to take a bath, but you may not give a talk without taking a bath." Instant panic/action.

Not everything went smoothly yesterday. We had a lot of drama about hair. Lucy wanted her hair done "in ringlets," which I was happy to do, but she didn't come in from the snow in time. ...And Gabe was pretty upset too, although I can't exactly remember what about.

It's the status quo these days to have someone truly upset. With Gabe it's all related to his desire for and frustration with carrying out his autonomy: getting his own snack, dressing himself, being in charge of what he wears, etc. With Lucy, it's more likely to be related to wanting more hands on time or more attention or help with something she's fully capable of herself, like buckling up. Another common sticking point with Lucy is just plain resistance to things she's asked to do that she's always done, like going to bed, brushing her teeth, bathing, etc.

So yes, we had a fair measure of tears and crying yesterday, but it went fine.

We got home and Lucy, Gabe and I made lunch--open-faced hot turkey and cheese sandwiches--before Brian headed back to church to do his time as the assistant financial clerk. Hours in that position get much longer at the end of the year when tithing settlement rolls around.

The next few hours included a peacefully-entered nap for Gabe, lots of one-on-one time for me and Lucy designing outfits with a fashion stencil kit, and playtime.

When Brian got home around 7 pm, dinner was ready and the house was actually tidy. After dinner, the kids took on Brian in a wrestling match that sounded very happy from where I cleaned up the kitchen.

Brian then took over while I zoned out, and I entered the picture again after the kids had pyjamas on and teeth brushed. I took over reading to Lucy and Brian took Gabe to read in our bedroom. They will soon be able to focus on the same books, but it's still a little struggle to fit Gabe's attention span into what Lucy is interested in at bedtime.

Lucy and I spent about an hour reading. I made her read a lot of small words in some of the stories, which seems to be tiring for her but also very gratifying.

*And cue the bedtime music.* Lovely day.

10.17.2010 -- Hmmmph

2010-10-17T14:51:00.000-07:00

Time is running out. I'm not doing anything about it, but I feel it. Less than two weeks and we're at Halloween. After that, Thanksgiving and Gabe's birthday. Then Christmas. Then BT's birthday and then another birth day. Or maybe it will be the birth day then his birthday. Either way, time is running out.

This past week has seemed to take at least a month. Gabe, Lucy and I have had a croupy cold that has laid us low. No school. No gym. I've tried to get us outside at least once a day, which I will be the first to admit is pitiful. Sometimes, though, things just are what they are.

However: we've turned a corner. School tomorrow, and real life.

P.S. Have I included how Gabe says "I love you?"
Just in case, here it is: "Da doo."

09.30.2010 -- Sickening, Really

2010-09-30T07:49:00.000-07:00

One day, Facebook as we know it will be in the rear-view mirror. These days, however, it sucks up a lot of time and energy from a lot of good people. For myself, I spend time looking at what people post there and the benefits may just cancel out the detriments. More specifically, I am much more up to date with certain loved-ones than I would be otherwise, and I am also much more current with people who may not be as important.

The point of this post is to say what I don't say every day on Facebook, where it gives a prompt for a status update: "what's on your mind." What's on my mind, Facebook? What's on my mind? Well, it's a little sickening, really: sickeningly sweet. I am so in love with my family that the love songs that run through my mind are more geared to my kids than my sweet, sweet husband. Case in point: the David Gray "My Oh My" song. For some reason, this refrain is the most common muzak in my head when I'm holding Lucy or Gabe. (Please no over-examination of the lyrics. I've checked, and they don't fit very well, only certain parts: "My oh My, you know it just don't stop.")

Status update: I am so so so so so so so in love with my family. (Told you it was bad.)

Yesterday, we went to the rec center for an afternoon of swimming--I was hoping that the outdoor section would still be open, the temperature being in the high eighties yesterday. It wasn't. Still, the kids and I had a blast.

Lucy is now a true swimmer. I must have been around her age when, after swimming in the presence of my Grandmother, she remarked that I "looked like I was drowning." Lucy is a chip off the old block in this respect: she too, looks like she's drowning, but she can actually swim! Gabe is a little water baby. He has NO FEAR, which is a little scary, but entertaining. He loves to be on his own in the water. And when I say on his own, I mean completely on his own. His preference is to jump into water that is about twice his own height and spend a few seconds swimming. He is then content to be fished out--sometimes sputtering, but always grinning.

As Lucy told Brian last night, we "met a classmate" of hers at the rec center--red-headed Will. He was there with his family and Lucy, true to form, ended up tight with his sisters--especially his older sister, Addie. I had to drag her away from the pool and the slide when it was time to go.

Afterward, I "let" Lucy and Gabe play on the climbing wall. Let in "quotation marks" because no one has to try too hard to get me to let my kids spend time doing something like climbing.

Such a good life!

09.14.2010 -- Five, etc. (Or Maybe Etcetera and Five)

2010-09-14T10:27:00.000-07:00

These two are great kids--and they are my life right now. Lucy is enjoying kindergarten, especially math, PE and music. After school, because we have very few obligations, it's normal for us to spend an hour or so at the school playground just messing around. Good times.

In this picture, Gabe is sporting a small cut below his lip. This came from a fall at said playground where he bit THROUGH his lower lip. Booo! I was there and caught him before he hit the ground, but not before his chin hit the tower he was climbing.

Gabe is into jumping, standing on unlikely things "surf style," and wearing clothes that he considers "ball" clothes. Last night at a soccer game, his cousin, Gabe (not a typo), let him ride his three-wheeled scooter--he was a natural.

Last night was spent at Lewis Park to watch our nephew, Luis, play soccer. Fun! Lucy, Gabe and I showed up in time to see the game start. Luis did great, by the way, and his team totally spoiled the opposing team's undefeated record. Monica and Scott brought pizza for dinner and I brought popsicles for dessert. I wasn't sure if Brian would eat with us, but I knew he was planning to come right after he hit the gym. When he showed up, I was talking with a friend, standing at the far side of a roofed eating area. He gestured toward the end of the pavillion, to the tables where Monica and Scott had the pizza laid out and asked if we were eating here. I was mostly paying attention to my friend, but heard Brian and answered that "yes, there was food," and that he should go say "hello."

A few minutes later, I glanced around and saw my husband going through a potluck line that belonged to a different party.

This food was in the same general direction that "our food" was in, and we knew quite a few people in the group, but it was definitely not for us, as we had contributed nothing and had no business with their party.

I was a little mortified for Brian. He had no idea that he was crashing a party. What did I do?

I loudly explained the misunderstanding to the group of people that we mostly knew, acknowledging that it was my fault and not his. They were great and invited him back for seconds. (Not that he took them up on their offer.)

This started a short discussion on how easy it would be to crash potluck parties--as no one said a word to Brian about him helping himself.

Fairy Party

Here's a confession: Lucy wanted a water party outside. She never mentioned any fairy party. However, so many of her friend's parties were outside and featured water and princesses, that I made an executive decision and announced that she would be having a fairy party this year. Happily, Lucy liked the idea, so we went with it.

Last year, we tried to include EVERYONE. It worked--but the idea of doing it again exhausted me, so I set my limits this year. We also had some of the older girls in the neighborhood over as helpers: they helped paint faces, make fairy skirts with strips of tulle, and put together fairy houses.

The party went well, but things got a little rowdy there in the middle when the girls made up a tag-chase game called "fairy free." We had an accidental run-in with a very hard, very mean banister that left a black eye. Oops. (Sad!)

Lucy loved the make-up and nail supplies the most, her phrase of the day being, "I can't thank you enough!"

08.25.2010 -- Turning a Corner

2010-08-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

Lucy had her fifth birthday this past weekend, her first day of public school Monday, and declared last night that her front tooth is really loose. I didn't expect to get too emotional dropping her off her off for kindergarten, but I did get a little teary-eyed. Why? Because I was leaving her alone to deal with the new teacher and a room full of new kids. I knew she would do fine, even would probably do great--it just pulled at those old heart-strings.

Gabe is (hmmm--how to explain it?) ...obsessed with sports clothes. It's cute unless it's Sunday and he's wailing (for half-an-hour) because we won't put a jersey on him to go to church.

They're both adorable and sometimes maddening. Love 'em to bits.

07.08.2010 -- Showing Up

2010-07-08T12:52:00.000-07:00

Since showing up is 50% completion in my book, I am making a special effort to show up on my poor neglected blog.

A friend texted me recently and said something like this, "you've been MIA on your blog... that means one thing!" She was right.

I'm due January 4th.

Woot. :)
I went back to look at blogs written when I was expecting Gabe and discovered that when I was at the same stage, I didn't have much to say about my state. That was a little disappointing. I'm pretty sure I didn't focus on that for a good reason, I'm just a little disappointed.

For the record: at 14 weeks, I have gained 10 lbs and don't feel too bad, just "puffy" and nausea/heartburn afflicted. I get tired, but mostly from herding Lucy and Gabe (whom I adore).

Since I posted last, the biggest event around here has been a (drum roll) WEDDING! My very own sister got married at our very own house. It was....fun and a little stressful--ann experience I wouldn't trade. :)

Fast People

2010-05-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

Tonight during one of the five minute stretches of my Yin Yoga class, it struck me that there are some very fast people in this world. I seem to know a few of them. It struck me that these people who do things so quickly and efficiently must get a lot more done than us slow ones... And it made me wonder who, ultimately, was more satisfied...

Me--I have no problem holding a stretch for a few minutes... But I've worked into that. It used to be less easily enjoyable. I wondered tonight if it would drive some of my fast friends crazy, doing 8 or so stretches during one 70 minute class.

Yep, pretty sure it would.

Well, I'm trying to learn from my fast friends. I'm trying to learn speed and decisiveness. Like Paulie Zink. Apparently, he founded Yin Yoga, but he moves pretty fast. Enjoy!

05.25.2010 -- Little Cooking Writer Pants

2010-05-25T15:03:00.000-07:00

Lucy is certainly growing up. Her latest accomplishments are bit of autonomous cooking, and a taste for writing longish notes (composed and written by her, spelled by me). Here's an example:

See, she wanted Kelli Jo and Zoey to know that AS SOON AS they could play, they could come right in.

Later on in the day, when it was time to clean up, Lucy adopted the deck and organized it herself. She did a good job. After she tidied it up, she prepared it for friends. (It's hard to see, but she has made a name tag for the back of a chair. She made four.)

Dinner was the last project of the day for me (before Daddy got home), so, as often happens, it hadn't even taken shape when he got home. He went right to work on the yard. I offered to start dinner but we didn't come to any consensus, so I continued with the laundry. Lucy came in and told me that she would make dinner (Gabe had fallen asleep just recently). Our four-year-old making dinner? I was intrigued, so I encouraged her. About 5 - 10 minutes later, Lucy came in and told me that dinner was ready. I walked in to the kitchen to find three bowls of "cheesy rice" on the kitchen table, complete with a fork for each.

Lucy and I sat down to our deliciously melty cheesy rice and brought Daddy's outside.

Lucy now feels confident preparing chocolate milk, Kraft Easy Mac (n' cheese), peanut butter and honey (or jam) sandwiches, microwave oatmeal, cheesy rice (with precooked rice), thai noodle soup, and cold cereal. She's more interested in letters than numbers, so to get her using numbers more, I've encouraged her to dial up loved ones on the phone and use the microwave to cook (of course, only when I know she's using it).

Siblings

2010-05-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes Lucy says funny things to Gabe. Like today, she said, "Gabe, what on earth are you babbling about?" Or later today, she stated that she "needed some alone time." Gabe sometimes pulls Lucy's hair and takes her things. But there is a good deal of time when these two enjoy each other.

04.19.2010 -- Hilarious

2010-04-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

After his shower this morning, I wrapped Gabe in a towel and set him up to get him diapered. He's laying there, knowing that he and I are about to engage in our recurring diaper struggle: He crawls away, I snag him and drag him back. He flips over, I pin his hips down to hold him still.

This morning, Gabe had a different strategy.

He holds his hand, fingers extended, over his twig and bits and tells me, very seriously, "hot." He repeats, "hot." Here I will translate all that comes through his eyes: "Mom, be careful. I'm hot. If you touch me, you'll get burned." All seriousness. He's really selling it.

"Ooh," I say. I look at him doubtfully, touch his leg hesitantly, then pull back. He burned me! I play it up.

Hilarious.

Big belly laughs. We have found our morning game.

What a funny kid. :)

April 13, 2010 -- Spring Breaketh: an account that waxeth on and on....

2010-04-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

Our Spring Break was pretty uneventful, but we tried.

Easter was celebrated with a Putnam tradition: string (yarn) was stretched spiderweb-fashion throughout the house to lead Lucy to four Easter baskets. I put them all together in the garage. She followed a whole skein of yarn upstairs and down while I wound it back into a ball. She did wind some of it, but when I realized how long it would take for her to do it on her own, I followed her and just wound it myself. Gabe toddled around while Brian made puff-up pancakes, then Brian finished up the hunt with Lucy after most of the yarn was in a ball.

Because I got to see Brian navigate over and under string all over the house (remember Catherine Zeta-Jones in that movie with the lazers?) and because of Lucy's reaction when she found the baskets, I am logging this Easter as a success: both were very entertaining. I do wish I had thought to get Lucy's reaction on video. It was similar to the reaction she gave when she found what "The Leprechauns" had left for her and Gabe on St. Patrick's Day (shoes). Wow. She completely surpassed all of my expectations.

She SCREAMS with excitement and squeals. And maybe best of all, she declares how absolutely certain she has been that the Easter Bunny (or leprechauns) would leave her a book of princesses to paint along with treats (or a pair of sneakers). She is equally effusive about the books in Gabe's basket and the (ahem) mascara in my basket.
"I knew it!"

It was interesting to hear her theories on why Brian and I didn't get as much candy: we weren't as good, or as sweet, maybe. We would have to try to be better next year.

After listening to General Conference and painting fairies and princesses, we headed to Brian's mom's for lunch. With Grandma and plenty of cousins and aunts and uncles, Gabe and Lucy were in heaven. Plus, there are some things at Grandma's that just aren't available at home; at the end of this post, there is a mediocre video of Gabe on Uncle Davin's 40 year old hobby horse.

Monday, Gabe was sick with the stomach flu and it snowed. We recovered from Easter. Lucy watched "Babe," painted, and colored.

Tuesday was snowy: We went to the Rec Center for swimming. Lucy left from there to go play at her cousins'. I worked out with (the infamous) Amy in the afternoon. (Gabe loves her...I love her! On the down side, I couldn't point my feet much afterward, or my calves would cramp up.)

Tuesday: Enjoying the snow and recovering nicely!

Wednesday, we made a trip to the (very crowded) Discovery Children's Museum with some of Lucy's best friends and capped off the outing with ice cream. To her delight, Lucy was successful in inviting herself to play at their house afterward.

Wednesday: Lucy in front of the green screen with Kaylee.

Thursday, a beautifully sunny day, we spent outside helping a friend in his yard: Lucy's idea (she's quite taken with George), then got to some of our own yard work. Because all of our time outside was impromptu and I didn't anticipate it lasting, I never did get out the sunscreen. Oh well. Sunburns all around. Gabe got the worst of it, of course. He's now peeling on his forehead, nose and cheeks. I bought more sunscreen over the weekend in hopes that I won't make that mistake again.

Thursday: Lucy with George, showing off a "petrified bird." (A chunk of mulch.)

Friday, we cleaned and tidied like madpeople then spent some time in our back yard with Aunt Monica. Fun! Afterwards, we headed north to Lucy's cousin's birthday party. We are so lucky to have family close enough to spend time with them! In a perfect world, all of our loved ones would be so accessible. Friday night, we talked our niece 'Cole into tending the kids so Brian and I could go out. I got applause from our friends for actually making it out of the house (really--no really..they clapped for me). We had a great time. Interestingly, Zoey picked that night to run off and not come back. I got 6 calls from an unfamiliar number while we watched a movie. I decided it must be important, so stepped out to return a call and discovered that Zoe-the-Intrepid had turned up more than a mile from home. My wonderful sister-in-law came to the rescue. So glad I didn't have to leave to go pick up the wayward dog. (Thank you again!!!)

Friday: Gabe's morning nap in the closet. Note the sunburn. := (

Saturday was pretty normal. Yoga for me, errands with the kids, Cafe Rio, cuddle time etc. Poor Brian wasn't feeling well, so he missed his opportunity to go skiing. There was no soccer because of spring break, but I forgot, so Lucy spent quality time in her soccer uniform anyway.

Saturday: Cuddle time. This is what I came home to after yoga. : )

Mixed in with these outings, Lucy had more good times with friends. She can not get enough time with friends. When one friend leaves or she comes home, she instantly requests more time with someone else. Girl, boy, younger, older, she couldn't care less. (I like that. It makes me happy.) Here's a picture from last month of a playdate she had with the boy she has decided to marry, Davis.

Good taste, right?

Easter Sunday: After riding for a second, Gabe tucks his head to the side for a bit until his auntie guesses what he wants. A trick he learned from his sister?

03.27.2010 -- Happy Little Dude

2010-03-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

My sister told me I needed to record Gabe saying "happy," and I did.

Lucy had her first soccer game of the "season" this morning. Season is in quotes like that because it's so short. She really likes soccer, and has made progress: last Fall she started out as the token shy, frightened girl on the team. Today she didn't hesitate. She even scored a goal (in the wrong net)! Ah memories. I did that once. (I was a teensy bit older than 4.)

03.19.2010 --

2010-03-19T10:27:00.001-07:00

03.11.2010 -- Happy, Floorplan

2010-03-11T17:42:00.000-08:00

Gabe is not a big talker. He communicates effectively using props and a few essential words. For example, one of our low drawers is filled with unbreakables like cups and tupperware. When Gabe wants a drink, he gets a cup from the drawer and puts it in my hands, then looks at me imploringly and says, "Na?" "Na" means drink.

He is getting better at saying "sister." "Hi" and "Daddy" are his best words. "Mommy" comes out of his mouth less often but is very clear as well. Other words he uses include "up" and "doggy." Today, Gabe added to his repertoire: His new word? "Happy." He says it very distinctly. So fitting for our smiling boy.

This is a house. (Floorplan.)

03.01.2010 -- Teeth

2010-03-01T12:09:00.001-08:00

Lucy's second visit to the dentist went as well as the first. The difference? Gabe helped himself to a toothbrush from a bottom-shelf basket while I wasn't looking, and X-rays. Not exactly sure why the x-rays were necessary, (maybe the dentist was short for his mortgage this month) but I like the pictures. See the new teeth coming up? I can't believe that Lucy is knocking on the door of the gigantic, awkward teeth of a grade-schooler.

02.27.2010 -- Passionfruit, Lovefruit

2010-02-27T10:20:00.000-08:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous,
talented,
and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God
that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."

The above speech by Nelson Mandela was originally written by Marianne Williamson who is the author of other similar material.

This blog entry is written in the spirit of the quote above. I try to avoid writing a lot about this kind of thing, but I'm embracing it today:

A long time ago in high school, I wrote a lot of notes. There was one class in particular where a lot of notes were written. I got a terrible grade in that class. The teacher made it clear from the beginning that he didn't care if people paid attention or not. "But," he said. "I don't want you to talk in class. Write notes." A friend and I took this direction to heart and spent a lot of our time ignoring the teacher, passing notes back and forth. There is one thing from our note-passing that has stuck with me for 14 years: the difference between Love and Passion. My friend argued that Love was better, I argued for Passion. He was a lot more mature than I was.

*Before I go further, let me state right out that "I don't know jack" about philosophy. All these ideas are home grown.*

I've been thinking about this lately because one of my dearest friends is enduring the first month of a divorce. It happened unbelievably fast. She was the initiator. She is on a roller coaster of emotion and she's trying to figure out what's most important to her going forward. We've been talking about what goes into a relationship: There is love. With love comes friendship, respect, patience, and peace. There is passion. With passion comes excitement, powerful emotion and yearning.

Love and passion don't have to be mutually exclusive. One would hope that they're not. But in some relationships, they are. Before I understood what I understand now, I was in love with the idea of passion. I argued that Passion is responsible for much of what happens in the world. Art, Music, heroism. My argument wasn't very deep, but I was sincere.

To my more-experienced heart and head, Love is much, much more. (Understate much?)

It's hard for me not to get drawn into big events or ideas that I find myself close to. When I read a well-written, well-conceived book, I'm engrossed. I find myself thinking in terms of the book for a while. When someone close to me is impacted so strongly by an event, like divorce, I find myself thinking in terms of the event for a while. So this divorce, this considering of relationships (specifically and in general) with my sweet, beautiful friend--it has me remembering what led up to me getting married and how Brian and I have grown together.

I remember high school--friends, boyfriends and late nights. I had a lot of fun in high school. I remember college--independence, adventures, friends, boyfriends and late nights. I had more fun in college. There are people I will never forget. People I will always love. People I've met since college who have influenced my life.

But.

I don't think I've ever loved and appreciated my husband as much as I do these days. I love him dearly. He is much more to me than others who have space in my heart. I feel so incredibly lucky to be with him and to parent children with him. He's a good man who understands Love.

Remember the quote at the top? I said that this post would be in the spirit of that quote. I sometimes feel very self-conscious talking about what's going right in my life. I find myself thinking, who am I to be happy and satisfied when there are people in the world who seem to be unhappy and dissatisfied? But "[our] playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you....We are all meant to shine." I think this is true.

02.18.2010 -- Lucky

2010-02-18T00:40:00.000-08:00

Lucky or.... not lucky today?

Some people have a very narrow view of luck. Events that bring less work or pain into a situation, they call lucky.

Isn't it true, though, that the most difficult times--the most painful--they can really bless us the most?

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate my ease and abundance. I just can't forget what has come to me through heartache and torment. I wouldn't want to change those things or give them back.

02.17.2010 -- What's New Pussycat?

2010-02-17T21:22:00.001-08:00

What I get when I try to keep Gabe awake by sitting him on the rug to watch me while I vacuum.

When people ask me what's new in my life, I don't know what to say.

Is there nothing new in my life?

Well, it's all relative, I guess: How recent does a change have to be to be considered new? How big an alteration in routine is considered a change? I have a hard time avoiding a mental rehearsal of these questions when I find myself trying to answer this question. (Even though I am aware that 99% of askers don't really care what I answer.)

Honestly, I feel like my life is stalled right now. Like my car metaphor? I am going to go ahead and call it apt for this reason: I don't know much about cars. Wouldn't know much at all about getting a car to stop stalling.

I started feeling this way around the end of the calendar year. Didn't help things that I was sicker than I've been in a while. (Ever? Wait--no. Not sicker than I've been ever.) I'm pretty much back to normal, which is still pretty much flailing around while continuing to hit a (surprising) number of benchmarks.

These days, most of my energy is going to decisions. Not decisions that need to be made in two minutes. Long, drawn-out, tortuously-delayed decisions. Here is an incomplete and randomly ordered list of my concerns:

Lucy turning five 11 days before the kindergarten cut-off. She is not exceptionally driven to spend much time writing or coloring. She knows most of her capital letters and very few in the lower-case. Socially, she's sort of good to go, but it's still not all that unusual for her to throw a fit. Her motor skills are average or below average for her age, from what I think I've observed. (They probably haven't been helped by her two shunt operations.) I just don't know if I want to slip her into school knowing that she'll be playing catch-up for four years. (Yes, I've done my homework. Third grade is where it tends to even out.) I know that September is a long way off and that Lucy will do fine whatever we decide. I just can't stop weighing these factors. I think I've made a decision (Brian has said that he will go with my decision), but I will still be officially undeclared until late summer.

Next: Gabe still sleeps in our bed. Gasp! Horror! One part of me is very comfortable with this. One part of me is ashamed (that I am too big a wimp to get him to sleep in his own crib.) My description of this 'problem' could get a lot more involved, but in the end, it's not that complicated.

Mmmmn hmm. Neeext: Brian has found a good deal for a time share on a Lake Powell houseboat. He thinks it can't last, what with the boat show whetting Utahns' appetite for reservoirs and petroleum-based recreation, and all.

Last on this list: I still have lots of house projects that I need to "finish." Lots. Inside and out. I need to prioritize.

When confronted with this seriousness, I am easily drawn to reading fiction or "researching" random things on the web. Books I've read lately include: The Elegance of the Hedgehog, These is my Words, The Undaunted, The Help, and some truly obscure non-fiction genealogical texts on my own personal relatives. Reading is a guilty pleasure for me, so I try to keep it to a minimum. I am happier when I use my time keeping household entropy at bay, parenting the kids or recharging myself by "getting out."

What's new?

*Lucy made our family dinner last night. Open-faced broiled cold-cut and cheese sandwiches. Her idea. Everyone enjoyed them. It's pretty amusing to watch her tote Gabe around because she's not much bigger than he is, but they like it. Lucy is now in Kinder II gymnastics classes. She's working on cartwheels--seems to be internalizing the idea that practice will help her improve! She's got a major crush on her gymnastics teacher, Ryun, and is "in love" with a boy named Davis in her preschool class. The girl loves to play with friends, and is the "pinkest tomboy" our friend Sarah has ever met.
*Gabe and I just signed up for a mommy and me class at Lucy's gym. We've been twice. First time was good. Second time was better...and worse. Gabe didn't wander so much, but kept toddling off toward the other end of the gym to watch his sister. That seems contradictory, but it's not. :) Gabe is eager to play where the big kids play and makes funny sputtering noises (with his mouth) when he's exerting himself hard. He's strong, brave and enthusiastic.

*Brian has taken up basketball again. He plays some at night and on Saturday mornings. We've been to a few of his Saturday games: Surprisingly fun, although a bit long for the kids' attention spans. Brian hasn't done a lot of skiing this winter, but has gotten himself involved with rehabilitating a ski cat with friends.
-My yoga practice has all but disappeared. I plan to find it again on Saturday. In the meantime, I have a small track-record of showing up to get myself 'trained' to a pulp once a week. It only takes me 4-5 days to recover. A good bit of my free time is spent working on projects for church. (I am (capital) Primary (capital) Secretary. This means that I do lots of secretarial-type stuff for the primary program, which includes all kids in the congregation between the ages of 3 and 11: around 100 in all.) Good stuff.

I guess that's what's new.

01.26.2010 -- Poeme

2010-01-26T10:24:00.000-08:00

il y avait un jour
quand le future
était vague et nuaguex
peut-etre meme dangereux
et il ne me faisait rien

maintenant
le future est le lieu
ou mes enfants grandissent
et çela fait tout la différence

etre mére, maman
c'est une promotion
impossible

je n'ai qu'une seule contrepoids:
mon coeur
transformé
devenu tout-puissant
féroce
et tout-capable
avec la connaissance
de ces enfants

ces enfants de moi

(Je me compte bénie car j'ai des amis qui me démandent a écrire. Merci et voila!)

01.25.2010 -- Nothing to Post

2010-01-25T22:04:00.000-08:00

Ah, me.

I have nothing to post really.

Just a few snippets:

When I'm occupied lately--cooking dinner, for example, or working on a project--Gabe occupies himself by emptying drawers and cupboards, occasionally playing with 'toys.' After a while, he likes to get my attention by shoving himself at my legs. Once he's in my arms, he kisses me several times and grins at me.

Lucy loved her daddy's idea of taking a walk tonight in the big stroller. They put two sleeping bags in the stroller then Lucy and Gabe cocooned for the walk in the cold and dark. Unfortunately, Gabe hated it. They came home shortly (hate to say it, but I had a feeling they wouldn't get far), then went for a ride in the car.

Lucy wanted to sleep in the sleeping bag, so we just set it on her bed. The thought of her snuggled up in that bag right now just makes ME grin.

01.16.2010 -- Lucy's Post

2010-01-16T19:14:00.000-08:00

lucyutrtyu]][ppoiuytrewq
TYTUYUT84FF
FTIUODYQKD
RG4HXDJR
HDH
FKHNNRFJUYRSWERDWRHGFJFJDHG
DBBXBS3XSSGFH,G GBHCHGYHR4IR6
RRHHDJDFVJJRG5TRT4JGTJKHKMMMMMFFFFF
RRFH
HORSESHOES
SPARKLE DIAMOND LUCY
LUCY TATUM TAYLER

01.14.2010 -- Favorite Adults and Winning Strategies

2010-01-14T21:19:00.000-08:00

Mr. Esquith at work. You should read his book.

I've been reading a book I got a while back called, "Teach Like Your Hair's On Fire" by Rafe Esquith. (Highly recommended.) Like most books I read, this one has gotten under my skin and it has been leaking into my life. Full disclosure, though: I'm quite taken with this guy, Rafe. For one thing, one of his mantras seems to be: "There are no shortcuts." This, in all seriousness, is maybe my first ever BIG REALIZATION in life. I think I realized this for myself in about 8th grade. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone else ever even say this. Anyway, as I was sorting laundry this morning with Lucy, I decided to try to work in a lesson about the levels of moral development and motivation.

"So Lucy," I say--casually. "What do you think is better: Being nice so you won't get in trouble, or being nice because you want to be a nice person?"

"Yeah. It's good to be nice. So we won't get in trouble..."

Fail.

I tried again, a few different times on this tack then switched. I thought I would get her thinking about admirable character traits and we could discuss them a little. "Hey, who are some of your favorite grown-ups?" This question to be followed-up with, "Why?"

With no hesitation whatsoever, Lucy answers, "You and Daddy." A couple more attempts at asking the same question yielded the same answer. I couldn't ask her why.

She is so sweet.

And Gabe.

Gabe is a machine. He eats. I am a machine. I feed him and change his diaper. He has come to protest any efforts to get him to sleep. The one place he will sleep without a fight (and I do mean a fight), is his carseat.

Today, I stopped fighting. I put him in his carseat (car in the garage) and let him have his nap while I worked on the laundry. When he woke up, I loaded Lucy into the car and set out on our library outing. (Thank you, Mary Poppins.) Tonight, instead of trying to bear Gabe's protestations, I took him straight to the carseat. He was sleeping withing a minute without complaint. I read my book in the front seat until he was deep enough to transfer him.

Win! I feel like a genius. I have truly been at the end of my rope trying to get him to sleep lately. Nothing has worked. He's been sick and teething (four molars at once), so I can't blame him.

Recent Pictures

2010-01-08T09:52:00.000-08:00

01.08.2010 -- Mix Tape of Love

2010-01-08T08:47:00.000-08:00

My friend, Christy, had a contest to see who made the best "mix tape" of LOVE. Here were her rules:

1) Mix Tapes must be submitted to me in the form of a CD (I know... seems wrong to call it a tape) via hand delivery or mail.
2) MToL entries must have a minimum of 10 songs and a maximum of 20 songs.
3) The first half of the MToL must contain super cheesy, cliche love songs that you are embarassed to admit you love. The second half of the MToL must contain really amazing, rad love songs- the kind that you listen to on repeat for hours on end.
4) Entries must include a playlist including song names and artists.
5) Entries must be received by December 1st. That gives you one month, people.
6) Points will be given to cheesy love songs that make me laugh. Points will be given to amazing love songs that make me hit repeat. Points will also be granted based on originality and creativity.
7) The Winner will be declared... as soon as I listen to all the CDs (depending on how many entries there are... you know, like if all 1 of you who still read this blog want to enter).
8) All playlists will be posted here when the winner is announced.
9) The Winner will receive, um, something really cool. Like an iTunes gift card. All entries will receive some sort of prize (though it probably won't be as cool as a gift card).

Good idea, right? I love the whole spirit of her. That was going to be the start of a new sentence but I decided it could stand on it's own. I love Christy's spirit and the spirit of her contest. To me it was an offering to LOVE. And let's face it. I am a fan, a major supporter.

Guess what? Against all odds, I won!!! (Special thanks to one former Jason Dale--you know why.)

Here is the winning playlist:

When I See You Smile 4:18 Bad English Bad English
Lovin' You 3:27 Minnie Riperton 7" Single
I'd Love You to Want Me 4:06 Lobo The Best Of Lobo
Do That To Me One More Time 3:51 Captain and Tennille Make Your Move
Everything I Own 3:11 Bread Best of Bread
Somebody 4:27 Depeche Mode Some Great Reward
Take My Breath Away 4:13 Berlin Top Gun Soundtrack
The One That You Love 4:20 Air Supply Greatest Hits
True Companion 4:11 Marc Cohn Marc Cohn
She's Got a Way 3:03 Billy Joel Songs in the Attic
In The Dark With You 3:42 Greg Brown In The Dark With You
Gotta Have You 3:24 The Weepies Say I Am You
Hesitating Beauty 3:06 Billy Bragg and Wilco Mermaid Avenue
You Are the Best Thing 3:52 Ray LaMontagne Gossip In the Grain
Have a Little Faith 3:54 Michael Franti & Spearhead All Rebel Rockers
Lay Lady Lay 3:21 Pete Drake Pete Drake
Kathy's Song 3:21 Simon & Garfunkel Sounds of Silence
Chariot 3:42 Page France Hello, Dear Wind

Want a CD? As a faithful reader of this blog, I am offering you one. Just e-mail me at valerie.tayler@gmail.com with your address and I will send you your very own copy of this winning mix. I will send internationally.

And now for my retrospective musings: I totally forgot to send a playlist to Christy with my entry. I am lucky that she is a forgiving soul. AND, if I were any kind of competitor, I would have posted this when Christy was actually having her contest so you could have made her a mix tape of love. Oh well.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Hap!

2010-01-06T15:48:00.000-08:00

12.28.2009 -- Brighton

2009-12-28T13:02:00.000-08:00

For a few years now, my parents have been renting a place up near Brighton for a Christmas time family reunion. It's great to spend time together. (Thanks, Mom and Dad!)

Last year, I brough my camera. This year, I didn't. It's a mixed bag because with my camera, I am less centered and sort of swooping around trying to get the perfect candid shot of everyone. But with a real camera, I have better chances of getting good pictures. I decide this year to go with more centered and less swoopy.

One thing I've been realizing lately is that I get pictures of Lucy that I take with my phone pretty often, but that I can rarely use pictures that I take of Gabe. The reason? He doesn't hold still long enough for me to catch him. They're a blur.

One of the few..

One highlight for our little family this year was that Lucy really started skiing. We missed skiing the first day because her skis were in Salt Lake with Brian, who had to work. We went to the hill to watch the kids doing ski lessons anyway. That's where this picture was taken. The next day, Lucy took some lessons with a girl named Kate, from Colorado (who, incidentally, had an earring in her tongue, according to Lucy). Lucy had SO much fun with Kate! She ended up a level 3 skier and didn't want to come in, even when she was wet and cold. Here is her ski button:

And this is how Lucy looked when she had to come in from the mountain with her daddy. She wanted to go on the Majestic lift before she come in, but was pretty tired. I was so happy that she had more good experiences with skiing this year. She enjoyed herself last year with her Grandpa and Dad on the bunny hill, but now she can put her boots on, stop, turn, and do the lifts by herself. (I didn't actually get to see her do this, but I have it on Lucy's authority.)

Lucy with her cousin, Cameron. She cannot get enough of all of her cousins, but especially Cameron. Somehow, he was able to withstand almost four days of continuous instruction from Lucy about how to play the role of "Joseph" in her nativity fantasy. She was Mary. Gabe was Jesus.

12.24.2009 -- Who Dat?

2009-12-24T06:57:00.000-08:00

12.14.2009 -- All Mine

2009-12-14T18:09:00.000-08:00

I have a funny husband. He has a quick wit and is capable of some very clever double-entendres. It's one of the things that I loved about him early on when we were getting to know each other.

And well, as far as humor goes, his sense of it tends to get a little corny or off-color sometimes and can even cross "the line." One thing I say when he pushes the envelope a little too much is, "He's mine, ladies--all mine!" I say this to let him know that he's pushing it, and to lighten the mood in case he actually did offend someone. Of course, it comes off as, "Take my husband, please!" (Ba dum bum.)

These pictures are from yesterday, when our nephews were blessed. I couldn't have been more proud of him. He's a good man, and I am so happy that he is mine.

He's mine, ladies. All mine!

Gabe's Birthday -- Part II

2009-12-10T17:52:00.001-08:00

12.09.2009 -- Who I am...not

2009-12-09T10:40:00.000-08:00

A friend said to me a while ago that she saw pictures on my Facebook profile and that she liked them. She liked them, she said, because they "real," not posed, professional and perfect. (I can't remember her exact wording.) She seemed like she wasn't sure if that was offensive or not and tried to make sure I understood that she thought it was nice.

As I made up and ordered our Christmas cards today, her comment came to mind. The card took me under an hour from turning on my computer to getting a confirmation e-mail and included pictures that were taken spur-of-the-moment. Not a single picture was retouched.

I am definitely not perfectly professional and I'm okay with that.

12.01.2009 -- Gabe's First Birthday, Part I

2009-12-01T07:47:00.000-08:00

Our family picture history has been miserable up to this point, so I took advantage of my brother's presence this past weekend and had him take some pictures of us. Thanks to him and to my fabulous husband for letting me rope them into this last second photo shoot. It was nice not having to stress out days in advance about what to wear and how everyone should be styled. We'll leave that to another time.

Our Thanksgiving was lots of fun. We drove up to Idaho to spend a couple of days with my side of the family. For me as a kid, Thanksgiving was magical, and we always celebrated with my mom's side. Because it's been YEARS since we've spent Thanksgiving together, my expectations were high. This year's family time didn't disappoint. Thanks again, Aunt Laura Lee and Uncle Benji!

Holidays are hard for me. I'm a festive kind of girl. I'm all for celebrating. The problem is that they rarely live up to the hype. For example, when I think about how Christmas or New Year's ought to be, I'm probably using theatrical references for 80% of my idealization. Real life just has a hard time living up to that. Things like holiday burnout, budget exhaustion, and a scope that includes too many wishes (I wish I could give really well-considered gifts to a lot of people, I don't think it's ever worked out the way I really wish it could), these real life hiccups put a damper on holidays for me.

Thanksgiving is easier, though. It's simply family and food.

It was so nice to have my sister-in-law, brother and our niece with us for a few days. Poor little one had her first experience with an earache and teething pain, and my brother was dealing with a cold, but they were troopers.

Each of the photos in this post were taken on Gabe's birthday. We started off with a berry-filled crepes brunch with friends, then dove into birthday cake baking for the Tayler family party on Sunday. While the BYU-Utah game was on, Brian set up Gabe's birthday present from us: a slide. The pictures below show just how Gabe (and Lucy) reacted to the slide.

By the time we got around to dinner, both kids were asleep, so we enjoyed our dinner with our beloved (beloved? yes. beloved.) guests. Fun day.

This picture sums up how Gabe felt about his birthday.

11.23.2009 -- Wonderful People

2009-11-24T09:58:00.000-08:00

I am surrounded by wonderful people. And by "surrounded," I mean literally and "virtually." In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am declaring myself grateful for the people I know.

Also, is it just me, or does Lucy seem to glow in the picture below?

11.21.2009 -- We Are Here

2009-11-21T11:54:00.000-08:00

Remember the end of Horton Hears a Who when every Who in Whoville shouts together?

Well, we are here!

I guess I've neglected my blogging because I'm trying to make some major changes around here: changes that require a lot of energy for me. The first posts of this blog were often about exercise. Somewhere along the way, I decided that was boring. Well, it may still be boring, but I think I'll be reverting back to my less rigorous standards for posting. I know, I know. You'd never know it. It's a personal thing.

So today's post is about how sore I am. I am sore pretty much all over, but not so much that it's really hard to move. I worked out with my friend Amy yesterday and at yoga this morning I could definitely tell how much certain parts of me were BLASTED on Friday. So what would have this effect on me?

Treadmill warm-up then,

20 jump squats
20 "down under" pull-ups
20 crossover sit-ups
20 power lunges
20 push-ups
20 sit-ups

times two.

It was a challenge for me. It made me want to throw-up, and that's always a bonus, right? I am seriously doubting the whole Friday/Saturday thing... I'm going to need at least a day to recuperate from strength training before I get through Corena's Infusion on Saturday mornings the way I'm used to.

As I type, Gabe is napping in his crib and Lucy's making me a salad out of playdough. Brian's biking "the bobsled" of the Bonneville Shoreline Trail. Click here to watch video (not of or by Brian) of the trail and other Utah goodness.

10.29.2009 -- Update in Pictures (10/14 - 10/27)

2009-10-29T22:14:00.000-07:00

10.05.2009 -- P.S.P.P. (Post Script to the Preceding Post)

2009-10-05T01:09:00.000-07:00

The subject I wrote about below is absolutely not as simple as I make it out to be--not for me, anyway. I try to simplify things to make them semi-readable and to give more order to my thoughts (for myself).

10.04.2009 -- Used To Be

2009-10-04T16:05:00.000-07:00

Gabe with Nicole at the SUU vs. SDSU women's volleyball game.
(No disrespect to the guy behind these two, but he's the real star of this photo, no??)

Yesterday I drove to Cedar City with some of my family: Sisters-in-law and nieces. The point of the trip was to see Fiona Jones play volleyball. Don't know Fiona Jones? Shame on you.

More explanation.

I married into a wonderful family. Among many qualities in the Tayler family is a remarkable athleticism. My sister-in-law, Elizabeth, has developed this more than some of my other in-laws. She was a college runner. Combine that with my brother-in-law Fotu's talents, which he put into football--and you get some kids, my nieces and nephews, who have serious skills. I know that I'm biased. I'm proud--of each of my nephews and all of my nieces. I think they're amazing. Nicole and Mariah happen to be the oldest of this group.

I've written about Nicole and Mariah before on my blog, about seeing them play at the Junior Olympics, I think. Well, Miss Fiona Jones was one of their teammates. She now plays for South Dakota State University. She's a Freshman, but is a starter and played every second of the game gainst SUU (SDSU won). Fiona and I are not best friends--wrong generation, for starters--but I like the girl, like to support her, and really, really like watching volleyball. (Watch it.)

The road trip to Cedar City was an opportunity for me to spend time with friends (er, family--no wait, people I love!), watch volleyball and do something different. Plus, I knew that even with Gabe it would be a fun trip for me because in the Tayler family, the baby belongs to everyone, not just the parents.

Before getting on the road, the thought had crossed my mind that I hadn't spent time in Cedar City for a long, long time. I spent my first two years of college there and haven't been back more than a handful of times since, but I didn't go into the trip thinking that it would be a chance to revisit old college stomping grounds.

We piled into my car and drove straight through to the Centrum in Cedar City--which is SUU's indoor sports arena. We parked and went inside, but only after goofing around in the veranda outside with some of the statues. (It turns out that it's probably pretty normal for 18 year-old girls to think the statues are more silly than inspiring. The statue of William Shakespeare in his balloon shorts made my nieces giggle and break out the camera, which made me remember a similar reaction from myself years ago.)

Inside the building, just seeing some of the classroom doors brought back entire swaths of memories.

It made me feel like I used to be somebody.

I used to be an artist--respectable drawer, at least. I used to be a writer, or at least someone who got published once upon a time. I used to be an athlete--sort of. I used to be a very good student.

And now I'm a mom.

Depressing? Sure. A little. A little amazing, too. And thought provoking.

Most, if not all of my peers--women in my neighborhood--are in the same boat. (I think it's similar for men, but in this particular sweeping generalization, I'm going to leave the men out.)

I'm surrounded by has-beens.

Women who have been accomplished dancers, artists, athletes and dedicated minds have put these parts of themselves largely on-hold in order to raise families.

This is one of the things that makes staying at home with kids difficult sometimes. No test scores or GPA to brag about, no awards, no quarterly reviews with raises or bonuses. No promotions, unless you count grandmother. Only a momentarily clean house, baby-steps in toilet training, and the adoration of children--which can be fleeting.

I'm not trying to complain here. Just to explain.

I couldn't complain, because being a mother, giving most of myself over to my family life, is worth it to me. I never really knew how to feel when I heard women say that their kids were their best friends, but I understand a lot better now. I truly love to spend time with my kids. There are a lot of difficult moments and some of those moments stretch into days or weeks (if I'm being honest), but it's worth it. It is fascinating to me to watch them grow. And I grow. And I love their guts.

After growing up in a system where success is only success if it's noticed and published, or at least measurable--it can be hard to find motivation through the hard spots of stay-at-home parenting. My motivation comes from a few different sources, but it's mainly this: I try to remember that this is what I chose, and that it won't last forever. The kids will grow up. I will have time for myself again.

I keep learning that there is an important balance that needs to be struck between completely losing myself in/to my family and taking time for myself. Blogging is one thing that I can justify both ways. It gives me access to my adult brain, and it's a journal of sorts for our family.

Ideally, I would not have to re-learn this lesson. Ideally, I would schedule time for myself regularly and take it seriously enough to make it a priority. But it IS something I keep forgetting. I find myself stretching myself to a point where my patience is very thin--even transparent. In the long run, maybe this will end up making me more patient...maybe not.

The first order of business in finding this happy medium, the way I see it, is more organization in the way I run our home. I have a lot of work to do. I don't want to wait until I'm perfectly organized and scheduled to make better use of time for myself (it would never happen), but I do think it's important that I move in that direction. Then again, using my time better sounds like so much work...Maybe there's some other way.

Quarterly goals? Evaluations? Grades? Awards? Hmmmm. Awards!

"Best Pre-school Writing Educator"

"The AEFM: Award for Excellence in Facilities Maintenance"

"Outstanding Work in Facilitation of Large Motor-Skill Acquisition"

"Building a strong, trusting and mutually respectful relationship with your children: A"

"The 'What is There to Eat?' Award: In recognition of and appreciation for your efforts to provide a tasty, economical, and nutritionally-sound diet for your family."

09.25.2009 -- Baby Steps

2009-09-25T22:18:00.001-07:00

So. I just want to make an official(ish) note somewhere that Gabe is taking steps unassisted. Very few, and it's happened a handful of times so far in the past few weeks, but it's the beginning!

Brian, I and Lucy all get very proud and a little giddy when Gabe does his drunken few-steps. I would love to post video here, but I have none. I don't even have pictures. This makes me sad.

But thinking of Gabe's steps again makes me happy.

09.11.2009 -- Hands, Feet, Belly, Teeth: The Pasty Gangster Club

2009-09-11T09:49:00.000-07:00

09.08.2009 -- Gabe

2009-09-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, Lucy and I took Gabe to the doctor for a well-check. It was incredibly anti-climactic. Hooray!

Gabe weighed 18lbs12oz, measured 28.5" and had a head circumference of 18.5". This means that among his peers, Gabe's weight is in the 20th percentile. His height is at the 55th, and his head in the 85th.

From the sheet given by the doctor:
Baby can roll, crawl, scream, pull up to standing, and may walk holding on to things. (check)
Baby can understand some words, wave bye-bye, clap, and imitate some vocalizations. (check)
Baby may cry when failing at tasks and may laugh when successful. (check)
Baby may want to feed him/herself. (check)
Baby may have stranger anxiety and may cling to familiar people. (check)

Baby will start to walk or will attempt walking.
Baby may show frustration with being told "no."
Sleep patterns may change.
Baby may have more separation and stranger anxiety.
Baby will become more vocal.

Gabe is cruising, climbing everything and (carefully) dumping objects off shelves. He's standing unsupported by himself once in a while, going up and down stairs like a pro, and picking up and handling the tiniest of objects. He says Mama and Daddy, and every so often, we'll hear him mimic a word or phrase pretty well right after he hears it.

He has an adorable smile and has many, many fans.

Last Sunday we went to my mother-in-law's house for a birthday celebration. Gabe had at least one smiling face within reach of his menacing vice-like-pincer-grasp all the time. ( If I were the type to calculate instead of guess, we would know for sure--but I'm not. I would guess it averaged out to about 3 people clustered around Gabe all the time.) While this may say more about our family than Gabe, this much is true: He's a cutie.

While I took photos of Lucy to
commemorate her fourth year,
Gabe watched us from our deck.

08.21.2009 -- Happy Birthday, Lucy!

2009-09-06T14:25:00.001-07:00

(See Lucy's cousin in the background? Isn't it wild how they look so much alike?)

This year, when Lucy and I talked about her birthday party, she discussed dancing and dressing up, but it always came back to water balloons. You see, when school got out for the summer months ago, there was an afternoon where she sat on a curb with her friend, DJ, and watched as some of the big kids in the neighborhood had a water balloon fight. DJ and Lucy, being three, were understandably not invited to participate.

"Water balloons, Mom. And I want to invite Megan, and Jake and Izaak, and Mina, and Kelli Jo, and Zoey, and Chloe, and Aiden and Bri, and Ashlie, and Kailee, and Kirstie, and Ben and Jack and Caed and Natalie and Lia and David and Suzanny and Kaitlin and Kelsie and Ava and Addison and....."

We had a "Birthday Fair." Very loosely organized. (I didn't even get around to sending out invitations. I texted, e-mailed and made calls to invite everyone. I won't do that again.)

We had lots and lots of kids, bathing suits and sunscreen, a gigantic blow-up water toy/slide (thanks, Stakebakes), trampoline, tickets that kids used to pay for "a fishing" pond, face painting (thanks, Monica), body tracing, otter pops, frozen gogurts, animal crackers, balloons, and water balloons. Lucy's favorite part was the water balloons (thanks, Mary).

When I asked her which party she liked more--her birthday fair with all the kids and pandemonium, or her 3rd birthday party, where we kept it small and decorated aprons, made pitapizza, and frosted cupcakes, she told me that she liked the pizza party more.

We finished cleaning up all traces of the birthday fair yesterday (Sept. 5th). Funny, isn't it? Oh well. If I missed the mark for Lucy's ideal birthday party, then I made strides in neighborhood unity. Pretty much all kids ages 3 - 13 were there from our neighborhood. I wanted it that way because Lucy ends up playing so often with the bigger kids. The big kids helped and got to play, too.

At the doctor Lucy weighed 34lbs. and measured 38.5 inches tall. This puts her in the 25th and 25th percentile for girls her age.

Lucy. Gymnastics. September 2009

2009-09-06T13:16:00.000-07:00

Think she likes it?

09.06.2009 -- TMI

2009-09-06T12:19:00.000-07:00

Ug. Let's you and me pretend that I've done my hard-to-fill-in-the-gap-hard-to-get-over-being-so-inconsistent-with-blogging schtick. Good.

***

We might go boating tomorrow. Know what that means? That means I'll be out in my bathing suit. I was thinking about that this morning while I shaved my legs and it made me think of what sometimes happens when my body is on display like that in front of people.

And, you know...if I'm going to write, I've got to write about something...

So, sometimes people make comments about my--let's call them my curves. They're sort of hard to miss when I'm in a bathing suit. ...And they are a little extraordinary; well, bigger than average anyway.

The thing people don't always realize is that bigger is not always better. There are a lot of clothes--shirts or dresses--that don't really work on me because they're not cut right or not stretchy enough. Sometimes I feel like I look fatter than I am, especially when I compare myself with women who don't have the same "curves."

I've thought about telling people that they're implants, just for fun. I've thought of telling people that they can touch them if they want, but that makes people uncomfortable... Truth is they're 100% real. Completely natural.

I'm just made that way.

They run in my family.

08.18.2009 -- Taller

2009-08-18T17:56:00.000-07:00

Anyone ever read that story, Thinner, by Stephen King? Millions of us wish we were thinner every day, don't you think? Maybe a lot of people wish they were taller, too.

These thoughts came to me tonight as I watched my wonderful husband on the trampoline with Lucy. Lucy barely makes the surface of the trampoline dip down. Brian could easily send it to the ground just by jumping normally. So, of course, he doesn't jump normally.

The weight limit for that tramp is 200 lb. Brian is over 200 lbs., but isn't overweight. He's not skin and bones--but he doesn't have a lot of extra on him. I watched them and realized that he probably felt uncomfortable jumping on the tramp--that "jumping" on that tramp is a totally different experience for him than it is for me. For him, the tramp is almost rickety and unsafe. For me, it's just fun.

Watching him "jumping" with his three-year-old daughter made me wonder how it would be to be too big for most things. (And not for the first time.)

Can you imagine ducking your head to go through most doorways? Sitting in chairs that are too small? Stretching out in bed only to have your feet stick out the bottom?

Of course, being tall has it's benefits. One good thing about being taller is that a longer body makes it easier to children to nap comfortably while being held.

I love my tall man.

09.16.2009 -- Successful Parenting?

2009-08-17T14:15:00.001-07:00

Lucy had her first visit to the dentist this morning.

During the visit, Lucy:

*Asked me why there weren't very many toys in the waiting room.
*As I filled out first-time-patient forms, asked me to read "Jonah and the Whale" from the stack of kids books.
*Listened to me read the book and asked two questions while I read: "Is that Jonah?" And, "Where is God?"
*Followed the assistant who called her name and climbed up in the dental chair with no fuss.
*Beamed when she got to choose a Disney Princess toothbrush from the toothbrush basket (she's never had a princess toothbrush).
*Was quiet, but mostly responded when people spoke to her. (When two new kids were loaded into the chairs beside her, she watched them intently (stared) and was so focused on them that she didn't answer the technician's attempts to engage her.)
*Happily wore the sunglasses provided while she lay prostrate in the dental chair under the light.
*Told the dentist (whom I would recommend to anyone) "Thank you, Dr. Nelson!" loudly and clearly when she was done.
*Chose a small plastic "Fairy Wand" out of the prize basket.
*Unwrapped the wand right away and left the building saying "bobbity boo," while waving the wand.

Lucy has a slight underbite, minimal damage from grinding on her molars, a chipped front tooth and.........

No cavities!
The dentist told me that her teeth look really great.

Successful Parenting! (I will take partial credit for no cavities. For everything else, I give credit to Lucy.)

08.15.2008 -- A Couple of Things

2009-08-15T15:07:00.000-07:00

First Section

A few days ago, some really wonderful and beautiful people confided in me that they have read my blog. I had mixed feelings. I really don't mind when people read my blog. Frankly, I'm flattered that anyone would spend their time here. What I don't like is the sort of performance anxiety that sometimes besets me when I realize that people are reading my blog.

That's the major reason why this blog doesn't have the option of leaving comments. (If I don't have a place for people to leave comments, then I don't have to deal with disappointment from people not leaving comments, and I won't write things in order to get comments. See how that works?)

With that explanation, maybe you'll understand when I make this request: If you read this blog and I don't know it--don't tell me. Please.

***

Second Section

Ah, the weather. It's yummy.
It makes me want to spend more time outside, but actually accomplishing things outside is a little difficult with Gabe. He, normal kid that he is, wants to eat everything (except baby food): Grass, bricks, bark, dirt/mud, hair, wood, rocks, buttons.

Now, for fun--and because I'm all about giving back, here's a little learning opportunity for us: A chance to assess yourself and, at the same time, to learn about me. Let's say we line ourselves up in one happy line of people who do or do not allow or feel comfortable letting babies put things in their mouths. I would be left of center. (Left being more permissive.) I think that it's sort of how being a baby goes. I cringe when I think of babies putting things like dirt in their mouths, but mostly because I think it's got to taste awful--not because I think it will really harm them.

There are a few modifiers to this that I should probably put out there in order to really make myself understood. I am aware of pollutants that could make normally innocuous things pretty harmful to babies. Weedkillers, dog poo, industrial or nuclear waste: These are only some of the things that I don't want in babies' mouths.

And where are you in our line-up? (Rhetorical question--please refer to the first section of this post.)

08.09.2009 -- Jiggity Jig

2009-08-09T11:56:00.000-07:00

BFF

Six days ago, the kids and I came home from a two-week summertime adventure.

To me, the trip was a big one for a number of reasons:
all of them boring, probably, to anyone but me.

This was my first trip (involving planes) traveling as the only adult with two little ones. It went about as you would expect. We were all very tired when we reached our destination(s). Lucy and Gabe are good travelers. Gabe is very good. He does tend to reach a certain point where time in the carseat is insupportable, but up to that point he is easy. Lucy is good natured, too, and can endure long, long periods of sitting. The major sticking point with Lucy and with me this trip was that she wanted me to carry her much more often than I had the will and sometimes strength to. We get around this sometimes by using rolling suitcases as a makeshift stroller, but mostly, we just got through it. Sometimes I ended up carrying two children and sometimes she walked, crying.

This was the first time in YEARS that I've spent more than a night at Silver Lake. Silver Lake is where my parents took our family growing up. It is my quintessential happy place. It was typical for our family to spend a few weeks at Silver Lake in the summer visiting family, but this family time didn't quite survive college and early marriage. It was just too hard to schedule.

Silver Lake is where I discovered the impossibly cute vermillion creatures called newts that came out in the rain, crawling so slowly that a three-year-old's less-practiced fingers could safely scoop them up. It's where I cultivated my love for swimming in quiet, cool fresh water. Where I learned the sounds loons make and how they can transform twilight into pure magic. Silver Lake is where I learned that my favorite sources of light are not acessible at the flip of a switch and that people can survive happily without television or radios or movies--for weeks at a time. It was wonderful to step back into those unscheduled days as an adult and parent.

The first time Lucy "caught" her first newt, she declared, "Oh, I love you! You're my best friend for ever and ever!" Lucy named the newt "Heart." When it was time to head out to the airport, Lucy said she didn't want to go--even though she missed her daddy. And Gabe. Gabe developed a habit of falling asleep IN the lake while swimming with Lucy and me. This happened twice in one day.

On August first, at Silver Lake, I had my first personal experience with a "flash mob." Actually, it may not be technically a flash mob because it was organized face-to-face and the venue was private, not public. But the intent was the same. Our "flash dance" involved "Postcards From Italy" by Beirut and about 40 - 50 people. It was a good first time effort. I sincerely hope to be involved in more flash mobs in the future.

What else?

Ah. Driving in the East. There might be some people who read this blog who are not yet aware of the differences of driving in the East and the West. (I'm about to commit an act of wanton generalization, so be advised.) In the west, you can see where you are headed. In the East, you can see trees and a little sky. If the west is a baseball field (destinations and directions easily distinguishable), the east is a labrynth.

Up until now, a few basic facts have prevented me from driving in the East. First, I am a youngest child. Second, I am female. (Female is too clinical, yes, but if I use "female," I can avoid the problem of deciding whether to refer to myself as a girl or a woman.) Last but not least, I have had no desire to drive in the East. This trifecta has made it so that at the tender age of 33, I had my first real driving experience east of Utah.

I am happy to report that I sucessfully navigated myself, Lucy and Gabe around New Hampshire, through Vermont, New York and into Ontario. I also drove to and in (gasp) BOSTON! Uneventful trips, all of them.

With all this driving, I found a paradigm for driving in the east that worked for me. It was this: In the west, when I drive, if I am headed toward my destination as the crow flies, it usualy works out fine. I can see just by looking where a certain road is likely to take me because there are rarely any instances where my view as a driver is blocked. In the east, I can almost never see where a road is leading. Roads twist and turn in the east with tall densely-treed borders. This has always been unnerving to me...until this summer. I should also note that the GPS app on my phone was a HUGE help in all of this.

Maybe it was because having a GPS handy allowed me to relax a little, but this trip, I realised that it was okay to lose my orientation, and that I didn't have to know where I was at all times during the trip. I just had to have the junctions right. So instead of, "I have no idea where I am, I have completly lost my orientation" type thoughts, I enjoyed thoughts more along these lines: "I've passed Burlington, now I have to keep my eyes out for 219E." Easy peasy. Or as my good friend Emilie would say: "Nema Problema."

Another first on this trip, I drove, docked, and didn't sink--didn't even ding--boats at Silver Lake. For the same reasons that I've avoided driving myself in the east, I havn't really driven boats there either. Again, it went really well.

Imagine that: 33 years of worrying--all for naught.

Lucy, Gabe and I enjoyed spending time with family on this trip. We had a few extended visits with my Granny, which were priceless. It's likely now that, whatever happens, Lucy will remember time she spent with two of her great grandmothers. She and Lucy had tea together and talked about jewelry. We'll have to wait and see if Gabe will get to remember time with his Great Granny, but I will always remember how she watched him crawl and affectionately called him "a menace," and "a tiger."

So you can see, this trip was good on a number of levels. I experienced a number of shifts of consciousness: the last being that I realized that I really, really love where I live. I love the weight and distinction of the Wasatch mountains. I love the sunsets--how they warm the hills and reflect in the lake. I love how precious green is in the desert. I love how friendly people are here in Utah. There are a lot of places in the world where only "wierdos" make eye contact with and smile at strangers in public. (Most of Boston?) I love how clean the streets and parks are here. I love how close I am to gorgeous public lands and wilderness. I appreciate that I know who my neighbors are and that our neighborhood is a safe place for Lucy to play.

A couple of weeks away (minus one weekend in Canada with Brian) was also enough to renew my appreciation for my husband. He's wonderful. (Extreme understatement.)

It was so nice to come home. I love a lot of people in the east, I love a lot of places in the east, but I love home more. It's where I belong.

(Hey, I know this is goopy, but I'm entitled to a little goop now and then.)

10% as beautiful as the real thing.

07.09.2009 -- Envie

2009-07-09T00:14:00.000-07:00

J'ai tellement envie de parler avec quelqu'un en Francais. Il me gene extremement que parler en Francais avec les Anglophones n'est pas bien accepte ici. Il me gene aussi que je ne connais pas de femmes qui habitent assez pres de moi qui aiment aussi le Francais et qui veulent parler avec moi dans cette langue. De plus, je n'ai personne avec qui je peux parler en Wolof. Le telephone est terrible quand on na pas parle une langue depuis dix ans.

Comment est-ce que je suis devenu fache??? Je me trouve tellement FACHE!

Je me sens que mon Francais et mon Wolof sont en train de disparaitre. J'hesite a ecrire en Francais aussi, mais.... Si je fais de douzains d'erreurs, ca va. Je le fait pour essayer a conserver une langue aimee.

(Et oui, je ne dors pas.)

07.05.2009 -- One Day Before I Turn!

2009-07-05T13:46:00.000-07:00

Last night at a party, I heard the following: "Yeah, he is really picky. He dumped his last girlfriend because he didn't like her ANKLES." Apparently, this unfortunate girl was deemed to have ankles thick enough to predispose her to obesity in later life. That's what Mr. Picky thought.

It immediately made me think of all-things-short-of-perfect of Mr. Picky's body. Especially the things that he can't help: like being bald.

I wonder how he would feel if someone dumped him because of his follicular shortcomings. My best guess? I think he would denounce them playfully. I do think he would understand. I think he's at least that insightful...not to condemn other people for "quirks" that he has himself.

Second, I thought of what he could be missing out on. I thought of how much people change over time and how some of my favorite people in the world are metaphorically "thick ankled." I felt bad for the guy. Clearly, he has "issues." I would also bet that he is aware on some level that he has issues.

Last of all, it occurred to me that he didn't love her. The ankle thing may have scared him or whatever, but he didn't love her if her ankles could send her over the edge. That made me sad. I happen to think that life is mostly about sharing. In my experience, the uncertainty and difficulty of relationships is more than made up for by the depth and richness that the relationships bring.

***

News is:

I got trampoline for my birthday! Hooray!

Have I already written that Gabe has 6 teeth and is "cruising?" He's a beginning cruiser, but a cruiser nevertheless.

Have I already written that Lucy has a habit of sitting in her car seat with her legs crossed and that she's completed her first "guppy-level" swim lessons? Have I written that she is going to gymnastic lessons now and loves it?

Brian is getting up at 6:00am lately to go mountain biking with his buddies. After biking, he goes to work. After work, he clocks in at his other job as a residential landscaper. His compensation package is not great money-wise, but he gets appreciation in spades from his main client: me.

He has accomplished a lot in our yard with the 10 tons of stone that used to be on the street in front of our house. He's also worked magic with the yards and yards and yards of tubing that was in our garage. We now have a functional drip irrigation system in the front yard!

Whenever I think of our yard and how much "we" have left to do, I think, "Ndank, ndank mooy jap gogo chi nyaaye." Loosely translated, this means: "Slowly, carefully one catches the monkey in the bush."

06.30.2009 -- Remember This

2009-06-30T08:08:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, we went camping in Jackson, Wyoming. I may write more about the whole thing, but the moment I'm really trying to capture was on the way home. It was a lot of fun to go camping for the first time with Gabe. Lucy, of course, has been camping before. We went with good friends and also brought rafting gear so we could run the Snake.

On the way home, Brian drove, as usual, and I spoiled myself by reading (since it's so hard to do most of the time for me). We had some delicious music going and with the passing landscape-- the open western hills, greened-up with all of the recent rain and late-afternoon warmth lighting the clouds, the drive couldn't have been better. Lucy and Gabe were in the back, at opposite sides of the truck, peaceful. I was at a pivotal point in the book and completely immersed, only barely aware of the music and continual passing beauty. Then Gabe started these big belly laughs (that I want to record every time I hear them). Lucy, giggling.

This pulled my attention from the book enough that in my peripheral vision, I glimpsed a pillow flying. I glanced back and saw what was making Gabe laugh.

Lucy was chucking a full-sized pillow at Gabe.

Every time it hit him, he laughed that deep belly laugh of his.

I looked at Brian: Just driving, a subtle smile on his face.

06.18.2009 -- Hungry for More

2009-06-18T12:38:00.000-07:00

A while ago, I filled out a form on a site that was supposed to track the traffic on my blog for free. There was also an option to upgrade to a better version for a nominal fee. I opted for the free version and soon started getting email notification that no one ever visits my blog. Not even me.

This ended up being liberating. Now that I know this is a private space, I can unleash my thoughts, however eccentric they may be. This post is all about just clearing my head and indulging the higher functions of my brain that don't always see a lot of action these days.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about consumption. About what a machine we as a society are for consuming non-consumable goods. Of course, I'm using "consumable" in the "liable to be used up or depleted" sense, not the "edible or drinkable" sense. This most recent consideration was brought on when I read this. Read it.

We buy things that should or could last 10 - 20 years and are "done" with them in a few months or years; sometimes we're done with them in a few days. It's done in the name of fashion, style, and progress. We get "tired" of things, there are improved or newer versions, so we discard them, give them away, or store them to make room for something new. Is it a product of advertising? All to make more money so we can buy more stuff.

Why are we so hungry for more and more and more? Sometimes I get a little queasy thinking about all the stuff in the landfill. I'm actually not opposed to landfills in general, just over-the-top consumption that fills them.

I guess this is a recurring theme in my thought process. In typing the previous paragraph, I remembered a multi-media thing I put together after I got home from my stay in Senegal (eons ago). Same thing.

This leads me to this pool of thought: am I guilty of hypocrisy--noticing this and at the same time remaining part of the problem? Sure, I could be a bigger part of the problem. But I'm still part of the mainstream. I still buy and own a lot of extra everything.

For me, I've realized that I want my standards to change. I want to slow the process of acquisition and the rate of turnover. I want to slow my consumer metabolism, if you will. This means holding out for best instead of buying good, then better, then best. This means being more thoughtful about how I will use something before I purchase it. This means more planning and less impulsiveness. In short, it means growing up a little.

Sometimes I wish I lived in a world where self-discipline weren't an issue. In this world, no one would be fat or have bad teeth. Everyone would have a wonderful compost pile. Everyone's birthday would be celebrated thoughtfully. No recyclables would be sent to the landfill. But I guess what I would gain might not be more than I would lose in character and personal growth.

06.17.2009 -- Meat and Potatoes

2009-06-17T07:05:00.001-07:00

Last night, after Lucy had gone to bed and Brian had done what he could with the flagstone in the remaining daylight, he sat down to have some dinner. Dinner happened to be pork roast with potatoes, carrots, and onions.

Gabe was very interested in what was on his daddy's plate, so I gave him a taste. He LOVED it. Roast, carrot and potato. His favorite was the carrot, cooked to tenderness in the juices of the roast and onions. He ate it all. After this, he made it clear that he needed something else. Turns out, what he was missing was a nice long drink of water from his father's glass.

It cracked us up.

06.12.2009 -- Friday Night Lite

2009-06-12T19:44:00.000-07:00

It has been too long since I posted. It leaves me wondering where, exactly, a delay turns into a drought. One thing is for sure: the longer the DELAY from last published post, the higher my own expectation is for post quality. (Quality, my eye!)

Really, though. There is something to that. If I continued to buy into that perfection thing, I would be able to count my blog posts on one hand. Anyhow, the aim of the blog is to work as a journal, not a lasting literary work. So I post.

I'm going to resist the temptation to catch up from where I left off.

Today has been nice. Not completely nice, but nice. The un-nice parts of it were/are: my own lack of sleep and Lucy's drama. These ended up being just a blip today. Nice.

Other news: we have new neighbors. ...They seem really great.

Funny things:
They/we have a weimaraner.
They have a daughter named Zoe. We have a dog named Zoe.
She is about my height, and he is about Brian's height.

Not funny things:
We really liked our other neighbors. We will miss them.
Our new neighbor plays professional basketball overseas, which means he and the rest of the family will be gone relatively lots.

05.21.2009 -- You've got to be Kidding

2009-05-21T21:48:00.000-07:00

More than two weeks has passed since I posted anything? Strange. It feels as if nothing's been going on. A quick mental run through has me reconsidering, though.

Let's see.... Play dates, pre-school, dinner parties, absorbing furniture from my sister's house, rearranging furniture, furniture shopping and deliveries, trying to pull the house together, more shopping--more returns, 20 tons of stone on the curb, taking photos for family, editing photos for family, doctor's visit, trip east, and getting back into the swing of things after rearranging half of the house and then leaving town for a long weekend. So THAT's why I haven't posted...

Listing it like that actually makes me feel a little better. I had been wondering where all of my time went. Now I look around and remember. This month has been a big creativity month for me. I'm trying to shape our home into something more homey and I got to take a zillion (well okay, 1,600-it was an experiment) photos of family. If you don't see the creativity in that, then we need to have a chat.

The home part is coming along. It feels different in a good way. Photos are fun. Always fun. This ends up being a mixed bag for me... I LOVE the opportunity to make new things--or tweak them--to be creative. It engages me like few things do.

The other side of that is that I can get too focused at times for my family's good. When I start a new project, I can get so absorbed that doing it literally all day long is absolutely possible. I have to interrupt myself and remind myself of priorities, ie. Lucy and Gabe and laundry......

I've always loved the idea of making living spaces smart and beautiful and comfortable. I came up with some out-of-the-box ways to make my bedroom closer to what I wanted when I was a kid. It's fun to be able to do that on a bigger scale at home. That's a bit of a jump, from being a kid to married 10 years in a HOUSE. But we never really tried to pull it all together before. This is definitely a first time endeavor. We're still being patient, but there has been a lot of progress this month in the pulling-together of our home.

Taking pictures? I have been taking pictures (mostly of people) since 1994, when I splurged on a real camera for myself when I didn't even have a car. I should be a lot better than I am--with roughly 15 years of experience, hmm.

Why do I love taking pictures of people? I think it's because it gives me a chance to capture the beauty I see in them. I consider myself lucky when I get photos that really capture this, because I am in no way a professional. It's a hobby.

The most time-consuming part for me taking pictures, of course, is the editing. This is fortunately something I completely enjoy, so it's not a bad thing. It is tricky, however, to carve out time from running the house and being a good mother to do that. In a perfect world, I would have all the resources I want in a timeless space where I could function simultaneously as an artist and stay-at-home-mother. Or maybe this IS the perfect world and I just don[t know it. In any case: this is not that world. I shorted myself of sleep substantially before our weekend trip, then missed more sleep traveling. I'm slowly getting it back. It's all good though. I love that these photos may still be around when these kids are grandparents. It makes me smile.

05.05.2008 -- The Future is Here

2009-05-05T08:39:00.001-07:00

In case you haven't noticed, the future is here.

I know, I know. To say "the future is here," it's all a little cliche now, but think about it. We are surrounded by AMAZING. Skype, iChat, video conferencing...texting, streaming video...all the things our phones can do...

(I just nounified amazing.)

Here's a confession: I didn't want an iPhone. I thought it was a little hyped up. I put on a good face when Brian got me one for Valentine's Day, but truly, in my head the dialogue went something like this: "How much did this thing cost? And my other phone was still working. He spoils me! I really don't need this...but oh well. I've got one now. Smile! and...sigh."

Now, I truly do appreciate the phone. It is amazing. The best thing about the iPhone? the apps. Oh, and the combination of the phone and the iPod. This allows me to listen to podcasts or music or audiobooks through headphones and my phone just comes through if someone calls me. Genius!

A lot of the apps available are just games. Some are very cool games, don't get me wrong. But some apps are absolutely useful.

Take some of the toddler apps that I've installed. There's one called Cute Math that allows Lucy to play at subtraction, addition, etc. She's a little early for that one, but not for the counting game on the same app. There are toddler flashcards, and a Sightwords application that speaks the word on the screen when the correct button is touched. None of these will step into my role as Lucy's main teacher, but they're fun supplements. And they're with me whenever I have my phone.
,
Some of the other apps that I like are the Classics reading app, a Scriptures app, Lose it, Zeer Food Reviews, the Maps app, and of course the Safari Web Browser. With Classics, I've got more than a dozen books--good ones--at my fingertips which are automatically bookmarked. In my phone. Is it not amazing?

If someone had described this to me when I was a kid, it would've blown my mind. I would've automatically thought of Star Trek. (Because I'm cool like that.) The Scripture app lets me read and cross reference scriptures and a ton of supplemental texts whenever I want without flipping through all those books. Lose it lets me track calories to lose weight. Zeer pulls information from the website to let me search the Zeer database to see if anyone had any comments about a specific grocery item. The Maps app is my own GPS/Mapquest. And the ability to access the web when I want is unspeakably handy--mostly just for my email.

Some of these things are what they are. The Classics app may get more books and maybe a few more bells and whistles. Maybe it will get an option to have the text read aloud(!). Some of these other apps may change a lot. I think that many of them have potential to really change how we do things.

One thing I hadn't thought much until recently was the potential for review/information sharing websites and applications to improve commerce by empowering consumers. These days, it's rare that I don't check Amazon.com or epinions.com to see if anyone has something interesting to say about a product before I buy it. A lot of times, I'll just do a search for "item" and "review."

This has proven to be incredibly useful. I've researched end-user comments about everything from board games to eyeliner. Here's the caveat: it doesn't work if people like you and me don't take the time to build the resource.

Here are a few sites with consumer reviews that I make use of regularly to try to find out about products before I buy them. To me, contributing and using consumer reviews is something that makes the world a little better that is easy to do. If I buy something on a whim and end up throwing it away, it's not only a waste of money, but of resources, not only in the product but in energy for shipping. All of these sites give you free access to information from real people:

Amazon - reviews on tons of goods, movies, music, books
epinions.com - again, tons of goods, with an emphasis on reviews (obviously)
Zeer.com - food you buy at the grocery store--and did I mention that my brother is the founder?
Overstock.com - clothes, furniture, etc. -- all at a discount
Totalbeauty.com - beauty supplies

I haven't contributed reviews to all of them, but I am making a goal to do at least a few (more) reviews on each in the next month.

Whenever I think of reviewing products online, I think of a time about five years ago when I bought a lot of store brand beef stew at Target because it was on sale. I hated it. I ended up giving it all to the food bank. Good for the food bank, frustrating for me.

If only I'd had my iPhone with my Zeer food reviews app. If some good soul had taken the time to write that the beef stew was thick like a brick and smelled like dog food, well then, I would have saved a few dollars and the food bank wouldn't have received nasty stew.

05.04.2009 -- Gabe and Lucy Update

2009-05-04T21:33:00.000-07:00

Hold me (I want to bite you)!

Gabe is sitting reliably now. And biting. He's still happy as ever, as long as he's being held. Which is more than usual at the moment. He must be hurting from teething or growing. Did I mention he likes to bite? It's pretty bad. When I hold him, he's almost always biting me or wanting to eat. And when I say biting, I mean, get a hunk of mom's hand between gums and teeth and clamp down! He likes the feel of tendons moving in his mouth, I guess. Needless to say, I am searching for a hand/tendon/arm/bone replacement. So far, a hard silicone hot pad holds the most promise. Teethers just aren't too popular with the boy. As for crawling, he's got it, but only 10% of the time. Mostly he just gets on hands and knees and thrusts himself forward. He can control this, though.

Lucy is VERY dramatic. And sweet. And very dramatic. She's slowly working "other" into her vocabulary to replace "wuduh." She loves riding her "two-wheeler," dancing in "'nastics" outfits, playing with friends, telling dramatic stories, and taking care of Gabe. When she's tired, it's as if her ears really don't connect with her brain. She is impossible to reason with. (Although I've found some repeated success with the following technique: if I know we'll be leaving people that Lucy loves, I identify a portable item that Lucy likes a lot. It has to be in-hand. Even if it's a minute away, if she can't see it, it may as well not exist. For example, last night at the hospital visiting babies, we had leftover carrot cake with frosting. When it was time to go, I called Lucy's attention to the cake and told her that if she would like to take the cake with us, she would need to "behave nicely." If she threw a fit, I said, then we'd have to leave the cake at the hospital. Good as gold. This does not work without said desirable object. Without bait, Lucy LOSES it most of the time. This leaves me with a small dilemma. Do I take something to bait Lucy with everywhere I go? Actually, I think that I'm slowly coming to terms with the possibility that I may need to monitor her level of fatigue and plan activities accordingly.

04.27.2009 -- Credit Unions

2009-04-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

I learned something new about credit unions yesterday--and no, it's not that they should be subjected to the same taxes as banks...

Apparently, if you attend the annual meeting, you stand a good chance of winning a door prize. At the one local meeting, they gave away a Wii. Forgive me, but this is the only door prize that I can remember for sure. There were a lot though--and of the same caliber. In addition to door prizes, I have it on good authority that there are often fabulous refreshments. Refreshments like gourmet cupcakes. Who doesn't like a gourmet cupcake?

04.24.2009 -- Hopping Game

2009-04-24T16:25:00.000-07:00

Got this idea from this web site. Fun!

If you are one of the more observant readers of this blog, you may notice that Lucy's bangs are considerably shorter now than a few days ago... When her Aunt Rebecca asked Lucy why she cut her hair, Lucy apparently said, "I wanted to see if my mom would get mad.... ....and she did!"

04.23.2009 -- Hola, Chair!

2009-04-23T09:37:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of Gabe's first time in a high chair. No, I'm not feeding him solids--I just figured that it might be a good spot for him to practice sitting without toppling over. Gabe is playing with a toy that Lucy picked out for him before he was born, when they both fit nicely while I rocked her before bed.

Today started out okay... Got Lucy to pre-school on-time without resorting to the car. This made her happy. (I like the walk, too, but am less vocal about it.) And that was the end of the smooth-ish start to the day. Instead of cleaning up while Lucy was gone, I did some re-arranging of things that are normally stored, etc. While this is productive in one sense, usually it just feels like a waste of time. These things have to be done, however. And now Gabe's warm-weather, big-boy "wardrobe" is good to go.

Although I enjoyed time out of the house at a group lunch at a nearby park, the rest of the day has been pretty blah. I am sick. Just a cold. Poor little Gabe has got the same thing. As for me, I've been doing everything I can think of to shorten the life of this illness...except sleeping enough. Sleep has been coming hard the past few weeks. Connection? I think so.

This is perfect, because only a week ago, I was giving wellness tips to a friend, Caleb. (Interestingly, the Brewer's yeast that I was crediting my wellness to RAN OUT just before I got sick.) I now have more.

04.20.2009 -- It's Okay, the Maid will Clean Up the Stinky

2009-04-20T21:26:00.000-07:00

This morning, in the tub, Lucy plopped a squirting rubber frog on Gabe's tummy and very sweetly declared it to be his. "It's okay if he spits up on it," she said. "It's okay if he bites it, I don't need it any more."

Then Gabe noticeably added a little of his own liquid to the tub.

"It's okay if he pees on it," Lucy said, and gave me her biggest grin.

This is good... I am always happy to hear Lucy launch into her "it's okay" proclamations. I'm no doctor, but I have noticed enough concern with cleanliness on her part to make ME a little concerned at times.

Lucy, once in a while, will initiate her own little tidy-up session. This does not worry me in the least. I talk these episodes up for days. These make me happy.

What has me a little worried are the not-infrequent times when she is deeply, unwaveringly interested in getting her hands clean immediately (with a wet napkin, if a sink is unavailable).

It could be nothing, but just to be careful, I've been working on making her bear having dirty or sticky hands for a while. For example, if we're in the car and she's got hands which she wants to clean, sometimes I make her wait five minutes until we get home. I know. I'm harsh--a "Mean Mommy," as Lucy would say.

Here's a "Mean Mommy" story: Today on our first hike of the season, Zoe found a "stick." This stick was a branch that measured about eight feet long. This was a problem, as the trail was only about four feet wide.

When Zoe has a stick, she becomes a bit of a menace. Her cute and usually welcome attentiveness on the trail is threatening when she comes back every few seconds or minutes (depending upon the speed of the hikers) wielding a weapon with substantial mass and more than enough pointy parts to inflict pain.

Today, Lucy told me I was a "Mean Mommy to Zoe" when Zoe wouldn't leave the stick: I chucked it into some brush making it irretrievable. Lucy said this with a little pride in her voice. It makes me wonder about her point of reference.

Sometimes I can figure out where her ideas come from, sometimes I can't. Usually, if I can figure it out, it's a relief.

At a friend's birthday party on Saturday, Lucy was with a group of kids and one of the moms stuck around long enough to receive a play assignment from Lucy. I wasn't there, I just got a little heads-up from the mom (Polly) after it went down.

"Lucy's so cute," said Polly. Polly then waited politely for me to respond.

"I was downstairs with the girls and she asked me if I wanted to be the maid." Polly looked at me with a fantastic smile as she watched for my reaction.

Whaaa? I was a little shocked.

I ran through possibilities in my mind until I found the answer that saved me: "My Fair Lady." I said, relieved. "Have you ever seen that show?" Elitism averted.

This morning in the tub, Lucy was interested in lathering me up. She had scrubbed my knees and shins and was working on my feet when I suggested she wash in-between my toes (why not?). She pushed one finger between two of my toes then made a little face and told me that "the other maids will do that," and that she only does one. Then she informed me that "sometimes we wash people when they're stinky." If you don't know what Lucy's point of reference might be, you haven't watched "My Fair Lady" lately.

Gabe Update:

Gabe's latest projects are sitting unassisted and crawling. He's making good progress on both. Sitting is something he can do for anywhere from a few seconds to lots (of seconds), but he tips over too easily to say he's got it just yet. Crawling: he's up on his knees often enough these past days, and rocks a little before he dives forward. He's persistent! It's hard to say which he'll be able to do consistently first.

Gabe still likes to practice standing and is a bit of a chatterbox at times. I've noticed him say, "Maamaa" a couple of times when he's frustrated and Brian's holding him. He's handed directly to me and gets to nurse promptly. The kid's a geeeenious! ;)

Also of note: he is so happy! He's got a little cough and runny nose right now. I also think his teeth might be bugging him--notwithstanding, he is still a happy, happy boy. We love him.

04.13.2008 -- Officially

2009-04-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

love this landscape - stopped just to take pictures

and this, the other direction (but the light was better seconds before)

blue, green, gold -- pattern, perspective and texture

i now know how big a party coloring eggs can really be! thanks, LL!

wild-man Gabe unleashed at the annual boy scout fundraising breakfast

enlarge this picture to see how Gabe is enjoying the conversation as much and Grandma...

"Mom, can we come here every day?" glasses from the teddy bear

"my friend, Emma"

Favorite story from the weekend:

. . . . . Grandpa was, perhaps, not the world's most patient man.
Apparently, one of his coping mechanisms when he was
(impatiently) waiting for the family, was
to go out to the car and honk the horn.

Grandma, interrupting Grandpa's exit to
the car, one inspired day, handed the
baby to Grandpa and told him, "You get the baby ready
and I'll go honk the horn."

No more horn honking!

Lucy and her egg-colorist

the "girl with the flowered dress" in her restaurant

the new bike

I officially can't sleep. Also, officially, it's still the 13th of April, although there is no way that this post will be posted until it's officially one day later. But I have a lot in my head tonight, so I may need to have another date available before tomorrow. I've found that it's unsatisfactory to post with the same date twice.

Facebook. If you don't know what Facebook is all about, don't worry about it. Skip to the next paragraph. I keep thinking of status updates, yet most of them are unsuitable for one reason or the other. Mostly they're too ambiguous or strange or personal. You know, I have a reputation to uphold. (ha.)

I haven't added to my blog for two weeks! That might be a record of some kind. What's going on? Spring has sprung. Spring break, and Easter and a billion (lovely) family functions happened. For the past ten or so years, Spring Break has been relatively meaningless. HOWEVER, this year, I decided to treat it with respect. Because of that, Lucy and I and (maybe) Gabe had more fun than usual last week.

03.29.2009 -- Gabe's Blessing Day

2009-03-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

I almost always regret not getting good shots of everyone when I get out my camera. Today was no different. Many important people aren't pictured here. Also, about half of these were taken by one of my fantastic brothers-in-law. Thanks, Jack! (Hope you don't mind how I've cropped them.)

03.29.2009 -- Normal Fish and Gabe's Blessing Day

2009-03-29T17:58:00.000-07:00

I promised, and I delivered. Watch the video (taken today) and be demystified!

(By the way, if you like this song and want to hear all of it,
you may want to know that it contains
some pretty naughty words...)

Today was Gabe's blessing day.

It feels like it was yesterday. (Literally.)

Maybe this was because it started so early for me and my sleep schedule has been sort of mixed up lately. I haven't been sleeping much. It's standard for me to burn the candle at both ends when I'm anticipating something fun or major. This was both fun and major, so it makes sense.

Biggest surprise of the day? The snowstorm that deposited 4-6 inches in a couple of hours. It started just as we left for church. Speaking of church, we were actually on. time. That was a miracle. I left just enough time for myself to take a shower, dress, and put on mascara, but we got there on time. Hooray!

Brian blessing our children ranks high on my all-time-favorite's list.

We loved seeing friends and family and loved spending time with people afterward at home. Not all of our loved ones were there, of course... We missed you!

I'll write more on this later. Right now, I'm going to enjoy my four-month-old son!

03.28.2009 -- What's Wrong with this Fish?

2009-03-28T17:00:00.000-07:00

I am stoked. I just made my first movie.
Purpose? To show you this fish's strange behavior.
(Oh, and Gabe snuck in there, too.)

Now, don't get your expectations up... this is just something I did today while doing everything else. (Well, some things that Brian didn't already do while I was gone to yoga before he left to go skiing...) Rudimentary.

Did I mention that I have the best husband, ever?

After changing Baby Fish and Book Storage's water today, I was listening to this song, watching Baby Fish do his dead fish act and I thought the song matched Baby Fish's demeanor surprisingly well. You can decide for yourself if it fits.

My good friend, Jami, used this song for a ski video she put together. I loved the song so much that I went right to iTunes to buy the album. I tried to put a couple of other songs to the dead fish footage because I didn't want to copy Jami, but this one just fit, so I put it back.

Post script: I think I have it figured out--why the fish stays up at the surface like that and swims strangely. It's definitely not rocket science. Stay tuned for my theory.

03.25.2009 -- Heinz, Please

2009-03-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

Mmmmmm.

Tonight at dinner, Lucy tried some of her meat (grilled steak, if you're interested), and spat it out. Granted, it had come from the freezer that day, but she usually has no complaints with eating the small portion that she's given. It tasted fine to me, and Brian had no complaints about his.

To facilitate, Brian asked Lucy if she would like some sauce... I suggested maybe ketchup (catsup--whatever). This idea excited her. Brian came back from the fridge and made a small pool of ketchup for her to dip in. Dip, she did. Lucy proceeded to dip all of her broccoli, all of her edamame beans and lots of her rice into the ketchup, bite by bite, while making all sorts of yum-noises to advertise just how eatable this arrangement was for her.

(After an incident involving washable markers, non-washable
markers and a new pink dress at church, Lucy
has surprised us with these new additions to her
vocabulary: kissable, hugable, eatable, etc...)
Example: "Mom, are you kissable?"

Eventually, after all of her broccoli and edamame were gone, she returned to the beef, which she dipped in ketchup, chewed, then spat out again. To her credit, she did this with about half of the meat on her plate, although she couldn't bring herself to swallow any. I guess the ketchup could only get her so far tonight.

To be clear, this is a first for the equal opportunity ketchup-dipping. We'll see if it continues. I myself can remember biting into sticks of margarine and sneaking Velveeta when I was a kid, but I don't remember having any special relationship with ketchup.

As for the continuation of my love for margarine or Velveeta... I converted to butter when I married Brian, and use butter in baking and sauteeing--almost never cold. I don't know that I've ever bought Velveeta, but once in a while, processed cheese (plastic-wrapped singles) is (was) one of my (secret) guilty pleasures.

I blurred out the bum lines. Does that make this picture okay?
It was too good to pass up.

03.22.2009 -- Family Evening

2009-03-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

Lucy wants every night to be "Family Evening." Can you blame her? Tonight, we went skiing at a nearby park. Technically, she and Brian went skiing. Gabe and I went along to watch. We had lots of fun!

Have I been enjoying the sun lately? Absolutely. We've been outside quite a bit lately--shoeless and with sunscreen--but I try to remember how fun the snow is and that it doesn't stick around for long in the spring. It's much better than winter snow because my grass is already de-pooped and raked beneath it!

Tonight, we had to take advantage of it and, as you can see, I brought my camera along even though the light was fading and it was still snowing.

03.22.2009 -- Monday, Monday....

2009-03-23T16:17:00.000-07:00

Whenever I try to plan a blog entry in my mind, it explodes... (The plan, not my mind.) Aw man, scratch that. See? I am here in front of the computer only because it has been so long since I have been here. That is no good reason to subject any third party to a lame-o blog entry, but nobody's making you read this. (In case you missed it, that was your cue to go to Zeer or Facebook... something more interesting...)

the boys before bed -- only missing Izaak!

This past weekend, I got to party with some of my nieces and nephews. I actually got less of them than I was expecting because a sister-in-law hijacked them for a few nights. I hold no rancor for her, but I was looking forward to having lots of time with them. As it turned out, I got only about one-third of lots of time with them.

Maybe people believe me when I say this, maybe they don't: I love to be taken out of a routine. Anything new invigorates me. The crazier it is, the better. It activates some of my favorite brain parts...those problem solving parts that sometimes shut off once I've got something down.

Now we're back in the swing of things. Which, for me, being a Monday... (Strike that. I am not a Monday.) For me, Monday usually means getting very little but mental preparation done for the week.

It hasn't really been too bad, I guess. I did spend quite a bit of fun-time with Lucy today. First we went outside to make a snowman with Lucy's friend, DJ. We ended up making two snow people, then came inside, played a game and did puzzles.

When it was time for DJ to go home, Lucy and DJ were both reluctant, but Lucy borrowed from her Aunt Rebecca's playbook and sent DJ home with fruit snacks (her idea). I've gotta say, they're pretty adorable, those two. When they say goodbye, the often give each other a tender hug and a kiss. As innocent as can be, of course.

Where was Gabe during all of this? For the first bit, he was napping in our big weather-proof stroller a few yards from the snowmen. Second bit, inside--he was in my arms, of course!

Brian has a new diversion: Crossfit. I checked their blog this morning and it made me want to do burpees and push-ups and lunges and lots of other things. So I did. This morning wasn't a total waste fitness-wise.

I guess I even got some laundry taken care of today. So things are humming along--not so bad for a Monday.

This post pretty much sums up my mindset lately, which, in fewer words and one simple metaphor, could be described thus: treading water with a half-patient, half-amused smile on my face.