12.30.2012 -- Not in love, Blogger!

I am not in love with the changes to Blogger that don't retain the original post composition date/order.  The change has made my effort to get unfinished posts done messy and confusing.

Here's the story. I start lots more posts than I publish.  There are a lot posted today that are now completely out of order.  What a pain!  But!  I have a funny little anecdote to ease our pain:

Lucy came home from school this past week saying that 

a boy had "a major crush" on her.  This made me a little 

uncomfortable... I tried to reroute her storytelling into 

"this boy did something funny," not absolute certainty 

that he was smitten by her irresistable charms...  

"But Mom," she said, "You didn't hear how he said it!"  

"He was combing through my hair with his fingers and he said, 'You're beaaaauuutiful.'"

For the record, this is how irresistably beautiful Lucy's hair was that day.

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time, there was a world where nothing unfair ever happened.

No one ever died young.

No one ever suffered from mental illness.

No one had to go through the pain of being left alone.

Everyone had friends: 31 good friends, 80 casual friends, and 800 likeable and supportive acquaintances.

Whenever someone intended to write or get in touch with friends or family, the thought converted automatically into action.  It never failed.  There was no such thing as "I meant to call you on your birthday."  No.  Meaning to do something was doing it.  Good intentions were immediately realized, around the clock.

This was fortunate.

It would've been so tragic have a loved one fade away under the haze of mental illness, addiction or estrangement.  Just terrible to lose chances to stay connected with a loved one just because some poor soul failed to make good on their intentions.  

09.20.2012 -- Man Down

My cousin died this week.

That sounds so simple.  As if I only had one cousin.  As if it's so clear and neat.  I have more first cousins than I deserve, and I know and love them all.

Oh, Cousin.  It's easy to feel cheated when I think of the boy you were--the young man you were.  And then something in your brain changed...changed you.  Made it seem so hard to communicate with you.  I never asked you how it was to deal with your illness.  I thought I was being respectful, but now I'm just left with questions and regret.

Have you ever googled schizophrenia?  There are videos put together to simulate the experience.
They're scary.  I can't imagine living in a world where voices followed me everywhere.  When I saw those videos, short horror films to me, I felt a little differently.  I don't know a lot about my cousin's experience, but I do know that the "medicine" proscribed to him was no simple solution.  There are as many ways to treat mental illness as there are to deal with an oil spill.  None of them simple.

I wish I knew more.  I never wanted to ask about any of this because I didn't want to pry. I didn't want to call any attention to how different he was--from us and from himself.

I wish I had asked. 
I wish I hadn't tried so hard to pretend that he wasn't sick. 
I wish I'd had the strength to just love him fully and closely and openly and without fear.

Should he have lived much longer?   Maybe.  Maybe it's a selfish thought: What? He should have lived longer so I don't feel guilty about not getting in touch enough?   Maybe he is happy now.  Maybe he has some relief.

I miss you, Cousin.  I've been missing you for years. I miss the boy who I thought was supposed to grow into a happy, healthy man, start a creative career, get married to a sweet, funny, affectionate, beauty and have a couple of towheaded kids.

How can you have slipped away like that?  Weren't we holding you tightly enough? Was there anything we could've done that we didn't do? 

09.21.2012 -- Discomfort.

There are a lot of things that don't typically make me feel uncomfortable.  Running.  Dancing with my kids.  Wrestling with my kids.  Speaking mediocre French.  Cooking without a recipe.  Being seen in less-than-flattering clothing.

And there are things that do make me uncomfortable.  Singing in front of people who don't share half of my DNA.  Buying *cough* condoms.  Wearing leggings.  Showing my stomach.  Participating in gossip.  Discussing co-sleeping with non-co-sleepers.  Discussing politics.

The biggest problem for me in discussing politics is that I don't feel like I know enough.  In fact, I can't imagine EVER feeling like I know enough.  To me, the world of politics is so shady that it would be impossible to ever get to the bottom of it all.  That's a little sad to me. 

To me, someone who takes on the world of politics would have to be a monster or an angel.  Not a literal monster or angel, just either a power-hungry megalomaniac or someone so selfless that they would sacrifice their privacy to the media and the public for the sake of their country.  However, I just said that, to me, the world of politics is far from black and white, so I'm talking about shades of monstrosity and shades of purity.

My point is, I have a hard time putting myself in the place of a politician.  I know from reading the news that the world of politics has got a lot of layers, some of them disquieting, to say the least.  I also know that it's my responsibility as a citizen of a republic to try to navigate the mess to participate in the process.

Many people I know aren't shy about saying who they want to vote for and who they think everyone else should vote for.  I have seen a lot of arguments that equate a vote for Romney as a vote against low-income americans, or a vote against gay americans.

If I vote for Barack Obama, does that mean I'm voting against Capitalism--for Communism?  If I vote for Obama, am I anti-Christian?

I'm not sure why people are so vocal about this.  I can't imagine someone's rant changing my mind or changing my vote.  The way I see it is the way I see it.  I guess that's why I so dislike seeing political postings on the internet that are so extreme.  You know the posts I mean...  Mitt Romney hates poor black people and wants to ship all poor black gay people to Canada, so everyone should hate him.  Or this: Barack Obama has missed all of his defense meetings because he's out partying with his Hollywood peeps or playing basketball with his Muslim brothas.

Come on.  Can we approach this like grown ups?

We have two imperfect candidates, each with a different skill set.  Which skill set would better address the challenges we have as a nation?  I find myself afraid of getting into a political discussion because some people seem unable to get past the surface labels.  I don't want to be labeled, but I have a right and even a responsibility to assess political candidates the best I can.  I'm not sure where posting extreme things on Facebook helps this.

I don't feel like I can say that I will probably vote for Mitt Romney because I have seen people equate votes for Mitt Romney as hate, intolerance, disinterest in the poor, and disregard for the needs of the environment.

I want to vote for Mitt Romney.   I'm not voting against gay people.  I'm not voting because I think we should pave over all the wild places after we suck oil out of them to fill up every HumVee in the US.  

I was in Utah when he turned the 2002 Olympics around.  His leadership took a floundering, disgraced institution and restored its honor.  I don't think I'm overstating that.  Of course, I never worked with Mitt Romney, but I did come into contact with people who did.  Their comments about him were overwhelmingly positive.

As a Mormon, I find people's comments about Romney's disingenuousness to be disturbing and closed minded.  I have come across the same accusation from non-Mormons when they visit Utah and it astonishes me.  What's disingenuous about him?  Is it cheerfulness?  Wholesomeness?  


I am around wholesome, cheerful, positive people every day.  They have a lot to offer the world.  They offer self-mastery, integrity, a good work ethic, a service-oriented mindset and wisdom that you may not be able to get from your favorite fantasy bowling partner.  I personally want a president who is special, someone who has crafted an extraordinary life and can lead our country back to a solid foundation.

To a lot of people, that extraordinary leader is President Barack Obama.  Other people think Mitt Romney could do even more good than Obama in that office.  Do we really need to resort to name calling?

Awesome. The new not awesome

"You're so gorgeous. I want your skin!"  
"Love that color on you.  You have such great taste!"
"You have lovely hands!" 
"You have a uniquely beautiful voice.  You should sing more often!"

If you were to listen to the things I say to friends, you might think I have a thing for them.
 
This is not the case. I just *don't think I should necessarily not deliver a compliment just because it makes me sound strange.  I just believe in appreciation.

*The double negative is the new awesome.

11.27.2012 -- Underdog

Tuesdays at our house are one of our busiest days.  Gabe doesn't have school, but there is a violin lesson and three gymnastic classes that have to be fit into the end of the day.  Yesterday was no exception.

It began early with a ravenous Charlie requiring yogurt for breakfast.  Mission accomplished, Charlie and I went back to bed.  At a more reasonable hour, I awoke to find Lucy reading.  Lucy's normal morning involves sleeping as late as possible, so when she does wake up early and is productive, it's a relief.  It means she has had enough sleep and that our day will go more smoothly.

After getting Lucy off to school I spent about three hours doing other things.  My mind has conveniently gone hazy, which is a pretty good sign that those three hours aren't exciting enough to record here.  Diaper changes, baths, and arguments about what is an appropriate breakfast, more arguments about Gabe's attire...  That's it in a nutshell.

At about 10:00, our (superlative) friends arrived and we had one of our play/social/exercise hours.  This is something I highly recommend to anyone spending copious amounts of time with (beloved) children.  A little face-to-face adult interaction works wonders and can only be improved by exercise. Talk therapy plus sweat therapy equals happiness.  AND it's free!

I  probably should have showered and changed out of my spandex to go to the store afterwards.  I didn't.  You see, time is short and valuable when kids are due for a nap.  I loaded Charlie and Gabe into the car and headed straight for the store to get chicken and broccoli for dinner.  We also needed to get supplies to make birthday cupcakes for Gabe's preschool class today.  The store outing went about as you might expect with two boys overdue for naps.  Charlie left the store in my arms, screaming, and Gabe left nodding off in the driver's seat of a plastic kid-sized truck/grocery cart.  Fortunately, both of were solidly asleep by the time we got home.

While they slept, I put groceries away, took a relaxing bath, and put dinner together.  Charlie woke up in distress and it took a good hour to calm him down and feed him.  By this time, Gabe had to get up in order to get ready for gymnastics.  He'd had an accident in his sleep, so we plopped him in his own bath.  By the time both boys were dressed and happy, Lucy and Grandma Judy were coming in the front door just in time for Lucy's violin lesson.  Her teacher, Miss Lauren, was right behind them.

The rest of the night includes picking up Gabe from gymnastics, taking Lucy to gymnastics, finishing dinner, eating dinner, putting together dinner for Lucy, Picking up Lucy from gymnastics, and going to a gymnastics class myself.

The extra good part about these Tuesdays is that a lot of times, we are able to squeeze in some time outside.  Between picking up Gabe and dropping off Lucy, we have an hour.  Today, we went to the park where the kids spent most of the time on the swings.  They love swinging, and they love underdogs!  An underdog is a playground move effectuated by the pusher upon the pushee.  Said pusher holds on to the swing and keeps contact with the swing, holding the swing in front then pushing it over the head while running under the swing.  It makes the kid in the swing go really high without having to build up to it.  A courageous and impatient swinger's dream.  This is something that we do a lot.  It's one of those things where it's always the person giving the underdogs who ends it.

While I was running back and forth giving Charlie, Lucy and Gabe underdogs, I remembered my dad pushing me on the swings. 

I don't think he ever stopped giving underdogs.

10.24.2012 -- Skeletons Out of the Closet

Yesterday:

Gabe and Charlie awake at 6:30.

Charlie becomes DBE (Dumper Boy Extroaordinaire).

I tried to make pumpkin cookies, but Charlie dumped a bunch of water into the mixing bowl.  I thought maybe I could salvage it... I doubled the batch.  Turned out I just made a double batch of bad cookies while Charlie raided the fridge and spilled leftover chicken, rice and teriyaki sauce.

While I cleaned this up, Charlie and Gabe ran around yelling at each other.  I needed the cookies, though, because a friend was coming over for tea (Mormon tea without caffine, y'all).  The cookies were a total bust, so I rounded up the boys and took them to the store to buy cookies.  (Why didn't I do that in the first place?)

Finally, Charlie got to sleep, just in time for me to breathe before my friend showed up--but not in time for me to clean up the house.

Despite my "baby style*" house, we had a lovely tea where I had to stop myself at least three times from trying to clean up. 

Charlie woke up yelling.

                                                                                           ......I'm blocking the rest out.

I am having a hard time imagining myself with any extra energy let alone brain power right now.  Yesterday wiped me out way before I was in bed.  First of all, the day started about an hour too early.  Lucy and Charlie will sleep in, But Gabe is up at the (butt) crack of dawn, and he enticed his little brother into getting up, too.  It was as recent as last weekend that I thought we had turned a corner with Charlie.  We had gone out to eat and he hadn't required any more effort than Gabe and Lucy did.  No thrown food, no screaming.  It was a golden moment.  In my mind, a backlit glow of peace and happiness was all but there on everyone's shoulders and heads. 

...Memories.  ...A moment of silence to commemorate that evening, please....


Yep.  Yesterday, I realized in the morning that I had agreed to get together with a friend at noon, and I had offered to bring refreshments.  I scrapped a few more complicated ideas then settled on making pumpkin butterscotch cookies.  I had already gotten the ingredients from the store a few weeks earlier, so it would be perfect.  When I bake, I often double the batch just to minimize the mess making, opting instead to have cookies or cookie dough around for a few days or weeks.  So, of course, I would double the batch.

Well, Charlie was determined to help me out yesterday.  He is so adept at getting up on the counter that, aside from dedicating yourself to keeping him off, there is really nothing to be done if he wants to be there.   I was going to make cookies, and I couldn't do that AND keep him off the counter, so we were just going to have to deal with the fallout.  Said fallout usually isn't too bad.  He is usually content to be within arms reach of the mixer and the ingredients.  Yesterday, though... he had different ideas.   His fingers were in every inappropriate place, he was spitting out the ingredients that didn't agree with him, he was standing in only the most dangerous spots and to top it off, he gave me a single moment of respite while he filled a cup with water, then dumped it into the mixing bowl while my back was turned.  I tried to dump out the water, but Charlie had added it at what seemed like the worst time possible, when I was still mixing in the pumpkin,  vanilla, and eggs.

Despite the craziness, we did manage to (finally) get out some Halloween decorations.  Lucy and Gabe really wanted to hang some spooky spiderwebs, and we got out the old ceramic skeletons.  Not impressed?  Well, they were spooky enough to keep our neighbor, Ava, from coming over.

Good times.

12.30.2012 -- Then and Now

Last year's Christmas card and one from this year.  The kids are growing! (See how I get that cheesy goodness in there without even flinching?)

We got back from a family reunion today.  How does a few days withing walking distance of skiing sound with all (or most of) your loved ones sound?  Heavenly?  Yep.

I didn't ski or snowboard this year.  Charlie was acting like we pumped him full of amphetamines most of the time, so I decided to stay around and keep him from destroying things and tackling babies.  I mostly succeeded.

Just before Christmas, I had decided to put together a photo book to cover the past two years of our familial voyage.  I had about 12 hours of work into the project (I know, right?) and Charlie turned off my computer.  I hadn't saved a thing.  So I went to Plan B for gifts for our parents.  It wasn't the end of the world, but reviewing the past couple of years, as always, gave me a broader perspective than usual (tunnel vision).  I don't think that journaling or blogging is anything earth changing, but it's really great to be able to look back and get glimpses into those days that have gone by.

Some things that I've been telling family when we were together these past few days:

Lucy's first adjective: Heavy
Gabe's first adjective: Happy
Charlie's first adjective: Cool!

Charlie also can say, "Awesome!"  When he says "milk," it sounds like, "nog."

Gabe really, really, really wanted a remote control helicopter for Christmas.  He got a fancy four channel helicopter to share with his dad. 

Lucy is actually playing the violin.  Keep in mind that our (my) standards are pretty low.  There are no solos or autograph requests as of yet, but we are getting it done.  ("We" are getting it done, not "Lucy" is getting it done, because she is learning the Suzuki method, which means that every moment she is practicing, I am helping her.)  It's another swing for me at consistency and practice.   When I was young, I convinced my parents to enroll me in piano lessons.  I loved the idea, but lacked the persistence to practice, so I stopped.  We did that at least two times, maybe three: enrolled and quit, enrolled and quit.

The story above about Charlie turning off the computer is typical of our family these days.  There are times when I try to catch up on things like blogging.  Honestly, it's hard sometimes to keep trying when time is lost like that work on the photo book.  Of course I've been saving my new projects as I go.

Gabe and Lucy both spent quite a few hours on skis this past few weeks.  I saw a video that Brian took of Gabe. (He's a solid little skiier!) But it's been about a year since I saw Lucy ski.  She just this week started using poles and moved up into the intermediate class.  Charlie took three runs on Brian's back (in a backpack) yesterday on Millie at Brighton.  He wasn't screaming, there were no tears, and he even smiled, so we count that as a success.

I'm going to try to embrace my limited time and call this good enough, or Charlie will probably make my exit for me.  Happy New Year!

09.12.2012 -- Park. Walk it out.

First days of school 2012

 Lucy's "first day" of second grade.  One day late.

 Gabe's first day of Preschool.

What would he do without her?

09.11.2012 -- Fall, Falls, Will Fall

It's Fall. Lucy and Gabe have been in school for a week.  Yesterday, I felt like my world was falling apart.  I truly felt like I couldn't accomplish anything.  Of course, all I had to do was move the whole operation outside...  I can weed while I am outside, even if Charlie and Gabe are stuck in destruction mode.

Fortunately, today was less extreme.  Fewer things were thrown, spilled and broken, there was less hitting, shrieking, and the toddler was much cuddlier.

Back to School: Lucy is loving her teacher, as was predicted.  Mrs. Noyce must have the best reputation of any teacher anywhere!

So far I have heard mostly good things from Lucy about about school in general.  There are only a couple of stories that have had me wondering.  The first of these stories involves a fifth grade boy getting into a minor altercation with Lucy over a hula hoop.  I'm being vague because I can't really remember, and I didn't understand the story well in the first place.  I think Lucy said that a fifth grader boy thought she took his hoop then twisted her arm until it hurt (so she would give it to him) but them he found his hula hoop.  The other story came today when I asked Lucy what she had for lunch.  She was complaining about how hungry she was after school.  She told me that she only had watermelon and meat for lunch because the boy sitting next to her was so hungry that he took her egg roll (and something else) when she wasn't looking.  She tried to go back to get more lunch, she said, but they wouldn't give her any.

Who knows?

I can't wait to get into Lucy's classroom to volunteer/spy.  I love seeing the kids in their school environment.  It helps me understand so much!

Gabe seems like he is finally coming to terms with the scheduling of his preschool.  He would like to be at school early every day.  It is torture to us both for him to be made to wait five hours to go to school.  Since school yesterday, he has been singing the "Days of the Week" song.  (The tune goes with the Addams Family theme song.)  He has also been showing off his "spelling" skills.  Here is how Gabe spells book: "buh ooh ooh kuh."

We took Lucy to Gymnastics tonight a few hours after her violin lesson and finally had to leave when Charlie got too intent on joining the toddler class.  Gabe helped him climb onto the half wall and he sat there for a bit, then squirmed down and tried to get in the mix with the class of three-year-olds. There are Mommy and Me classes, but no solo classes for younger than three.

Tonight I was looking through invoices on my e-mail and that had me reconsidering these gymnastics classes.  For better or for worse, Lucy and Gabe both really enjoy their time at gymnastics though, and the tuition isn't quite putting us in the poor house, so I guess we will continue to pay the bills and ferry them back and forth.

 

 This is Dylan Ellsworth.  Google him.  Watch the videos.

He coaches the boys recreation class that Gabe is in.  Gabe loves it.

Lucy's teacher is a sweet young lady (how old am I, 90?) with a cheerleading background.  Lucy is in a pre-team class where she gets to spend two hours practicing twice a week.   I do sometimes question whether I should find a class for her that is less crowded (the class keeps getting bigger and bigger!) with a more experienced coach, BUT she is having fun and progressing.

09.03.2012 -- Pow

Brian, Lucy, Gabe, Charlie and I got back from Lake Powell this afternoon.  Lake Powell is amazing and too fun for words.  The drive there and back with our three kids is also too... fun... for words.

Highlights include:

Charlie playing mostly with TicTacs and other colored candies (ChewySweetTarts) on the way down.  He emptied all of the TicTacs out over and over.  The SweetTarts, he emptied into a cup then fished out only orange ones to go into an empty TicTac container.  Then the sprinkled them all over the floor of the truck with gusto.

I really have to remind myself that, although we will never be without challenges while traveling, at least our current set will not last forever.  Charlie *hates* his car seat.

We are able to spend time with lots of wonderful people any time we go to Lake Powell, and this time was no exception.  We loved hanging out with the Henries and the Johnsons.  They had to leave earlier than us, so we spent our last night on the boat alone.  We slept under the starts and it was about as good as you would expect.  Beautiful, tranquil, clear skies, perfect September Arizona weather, no bugs...

Gabe woke up early crying out about Transformers.  He recounted his disturbing dream for me later that morning.  In his dream, I had a red Transformer toy for Gabe.  I kept trying to give it to Gabe, and he kept trying to tell me that he wanted a yellow one.  In the wee dawn hours, Brian comforted him by whispering, "you'll get a Transformer, Gabe..."  Oh Gabe.  He is big on appreciation these days, often telling me that I'm the best, or that he loves me--just out of the blue.

Lucy is a tubing queen.  She almost can't get enough of it.  I'm not sure she has been driven to her own satisfaction yet, though.  She always asks drivers to go faster and find more waves.  I got my first glimmer of boating in the future this past week, when Lucy took charge of the rope without being asked, and did it really well!

This is a picture of Antelope Canyon.  

Not a shabby place to swim for hours and jump off rocks into perfect water.

07.08.2012 -- Downhill

I am now thirty-six years old.  The only quote that has stuck in my head about this decade is what my mother-in-law said about when she was thirty-five years old.  It was her favorite year ever.  So if I'm like my mother-in-law....IT'S ALL DOWN HILL FROM HERE.

But I don't really feel that way...and I don't think that she would agree with that conclusion, it just appeals to my sense of humor (which is my go-to coping mechanism--hollah)!

You know, I have an inner critic that gets all snippy when I write.  Sometimes I feel like just shutting the computer down because as hard as I try, I'm sure I'm getting this punctuation wrong--probably more than I even fear.  ...And then, well--anyone who reads this will probably be laughing at me.  And then, well, any genuine friendship or relationship we ever had will become a charade where you pretend that you like me to my face only to scorn my English composition skills in private.

So why even try, if I know how it will all turn out?!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is another sampling of my sense of humor.  ...Getting it done.

 *

How many times have I fallen off this blogging horse?  I'm tired of hearing my own excuses.  If I were to embrace my schmaltzy side, I would type something schmaltzy like, "It doesn't matter how many times you fall off the horse.  What matters is how many times you get back on."  But I'm tired of schmaltz.

What I am going to embrace tonight is this:  there are at least two good things about writing here.  First, it's therapeutic. Second, it can serve as some sort of record for our family.  That should be enough, shouldn't it?

 *

Maybe a week ago, Charlie bit me.  This is nothing new (although it has become less frequent).  I put Charlie down.  Charlie was pretty distraught at being demoted to standing on the floor by himself.  After a few seconds of stern looks and words, I picked him up again.  Charlie then said, "Sah-ee," wrapped his soft and strong little arms around my neck, and gave me a big kiss.  Guess who has been paying attention to the apology instruction I give Lucy and Gabe all the time? 

Today was Charlie's first official day in the church nursery.  This means that instead of hanging out with either me or Brian, he gets to hang out with other 18 month - 3 year olds for two hours, playing, doing puzzles, singing and having snack time.  Today I felt like I had come out the other side of an obstacle course.  From now on, at least the last two hours of church should be much more relaxing.

*

A few weeks ago, Lucy had been grounded for being rude.  After giving some warnings, I said the words that I always regret, "You're grounded for the rest of the week."   Abolishing time with friends is the worst possible thing that can happen to Lucy.  Well, I held strong for two days.  In the middle of the second day, I was looking hard for an out.  It is so much easier to have a child playing with friends than grounded.  I did some heavy duty pondering and came up with a solution.  I explained to Lucy that I would give her an opportunity to earn her way out of her grounding.  There were two and a half days left in her sentence.  I explained that when she completed 4 chores of my choosing, she could work off one day of grounding.  In order to work off the rest of the week, it would be 10 chores.  Lucy jumped on it.  It took her a couple of hours, but she earned freedom (for both of us).  In exchange, I got my dishes done, the kitchen cleaned, the living room picked up and vacuumed, all of my bathrooms cleaned, windows washed and help with Charlie.

This was amazing to me.  I hadn't known she was capable of all of that before.  Now when I ask her to do chores, I have a better idea of her true capability.

The story doesn't quite end there.   The day after Lucy "earned her way" out of being grounded, she was ready to do the 10 chores she had done the day before in order to stay ungrounded.  I confess to waiting for a few seconds before I explained to her that she had done all that I had asked her to do the day before and she wouldn't need to do extra chores to stay ungrounded.

*

Gabe's imagination is on fire these days.  He wakes up recounting dreams almost every morning (like the one where a gigantic fish swallowed him and I came to the rescue).  Everyone is a potential bad guy who needs beheading...and then there is the potty humor.  To Gabe, any word or phrase becomes hilarious by adding "poop" or "butt" to it.  He has two favorite songs these days--which he sings and dances to himself.  Tooty Ta, and I Like to Move It.  His moves vary from a kind of pre B Boy to pretty basic bum wiggling.

Gabe: Mom, I wish boys didn't have these (points to eyelashes).
Me: Well, those eyelashes keep the water from rolling into your eyes when it rains.
Gabe: I wish boys didn't have them.  ...We could just all wear raincoats and (demonstrating by pantomime) pull the top down over our faces.

I'm not sure if I have recorded this yet.  When Charlie says "uh-uh," it means "yes."  When he says "no," it means "no."  This picture was taken during a stay we made in St. George.

 This picture could use some explanation.  This is Lucy after her 3rd shunt revision (having not had her hair washed for days since the surgery) AND having lost 7 teeth! 

06.11.2012 -- Logical

The kids wanted to have a picnic today. I provided potstickers and watermelon, and Lucy set up a picnic space on our driveway. When asked why she set it up on the driveway, she explained that she wanted to use the small folding table that we store in our garage, and she didn't want to drag it far. While Charlie, Gabe and Lucy were eating, I watered some thirsty-looking plants with a hose. It wasn't long before Lucy and Gabe started yelling that Charlie was getting into the dog food. I guess Gabe wasn't sure if I heard. I didn't say anything, after all...

Gabe made his way to me and assured me that it would be okay.

"Just let him eat it, Mom. If he eats dog food, he will turn into a dog, and I want a puppy!"

06.07.2012 -- Nutty

I have fallen in love again. This time, it's with coconut oil. I use it in cooking , in my bath, and as a moisturizer.

In other news, we have been doing swim lessons and playing a lot. Also, Charlie told me this morning "da doo." This means he loves me. He said it very clearly between kisses.

Good summer days!

05.27.2012 -- New Leaves

A funny thing happened last night while I was hanging out with Charlie. He has been needing a lot of comfort lately to deal with teething pain. So... I end up holding him a lot, quietly looking at all the housework I have to do. Last night as I held Charlie, I ended up looking at my sister's Facebook pictures. I came across an image I hadn't seen for a long time (of Lucy and her cousin, Cameron) and clicked on it in order to comment. There was one other comment for that picture. Made by me. On May 26th, 2011. Exactly one year earlier. I had written "Awwwww."
Just what i had been thinking to comment. Pretty strange, huh?

It got me thinking about Change and Stasis.

More specifically, about how I have changed and not changed in the past year. I was able to think of a couple of things:

I have made progress in the yard and lost progress inside our home. Last year, we were much further behind in the yard. Now, it's easier to spend time outside because the boys' energy mostly translates straight to chaos when we're inside. The minute we step outside, they calm down. Besides being a little more calm, their natural inclination to hit and throw things has a much lower cost outside.

We aren't quite to the stage where I can turn them loose together alone outside, so the only multitasking I can really do these days is yard work and managing the boys outside.

Lucy can now read by herself and to her brothers, which opens our world to new options for reading time.

I am chasing Charlie this year instead of Gabe. Gabe is mostly old and wise enough to keep himself out of foreseeable danger. Charlie isn't, but he is getting better. The last time we went to a park, I only did one rescue, and that was to help Gabe come down from a spot he was uncomfortable in. Charlie handles himself pretty well on a playground these days.

I got new glasses (which I actually don't mind wearing). This morning I didn't wear them when we went to
church and I felt old and decrepit when I realized I'd been squinting and really couldn't see well at all.

Something else that's new: This week, I decided to try sitting inside the chapel at church again instead of in the foyer. (That's right, I decided--Brian gave me a little look that told me he thought I was a nuts, but he supported me.)
See, I had gotten a tip from a friend that had given me hope: dry erase crayons.

I spent some energy yesterday getting a bag ready with my new arsenal of weapons in my fight against loud, restless children, I had a talk with the kids before we left for church, and BEHOLD... 90% success!

It was really nice to be inside the chapel. Really nice. not exactly really easy, but good. It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't have had a conversation with my new neighbor, Amy. It's because of her that we are turning over this new leaf: sitting inside the chapel together as a family (again).

I also have Amy to thank for a couple of other new changes that I'm making. Hint: If the plan goes as planned, I should be posting here a lot more often, AND I will be seeing a little less of the grocery store and a little more of my garden.

Sometimes we just need a little kick in the pants.

02.22.2012 -- Charles the Great

Things to BLOG about in no particular order

shopping with Gabe
Christmas
Charlie's Birthday
point system and fish
gymnastics
Gabe's girlfriend
Valentine's day
windstorm
Thomas the Train

02.21.2012 -- Excuses

Charlie chillin' with Unka HAP

Ham

Pajama Buddies

RIP "Orange Coral"

It occurred to me the other day why I have been having such a hard time posting here: Charlie.

More specifically, Charlie feels the need to type while I am typing. Or, if he is not commandeering the keyboard, he is turning off the computer. And when he is sleeping, I often find myself doing other things.  Kids can really get in the way of blogging, see?  That realization helped me to understand that I am going to have to recommit to finding my way here more often when he is sleeping.

As I sit here, typing, it's a little hard to concentrate. I am thinking of all of the things I would like to get done today. The smell of my shirt is hard to ignore. I have been wearing it only about three hours, but it has already taken on the smells of.... sick children.  :[

My sister surprised me this morning as I was finishing making my bed. I was chatting away with her on the phone while I tucked in the sheets and put the pillowcases on the pillows. I was explaining Lucy's change of schedule to her, vaguely aware of Gabe trying to get my attention. (In all honesty, I was blocking him out because he had been yelling a lot about not wanting to blow his nose.) All of a sudden, my sister walked in the room as I talked to her on the phone and I realized that Gabe had been telling me "Aunt Monica is here! Aunt Monica is here!"

 I jumped.
I might have yelled a little bit.
We laughed. We.... didn't cry.

She took my 3 year old home with her for the day.

What a sister. Thanks, Monica!

01.04.2012 -- This is the Life

Here are some pictures from Christmas. Christmas was lovely--not stress free, but really nice.

I promise to blog about it LATER. I am including pictures from Christmas in this blog because, when I started this blog, I wanted to do my best to include images with text whenever I could. Today, I can include pictures from over a week ago more easily than any from today, so I will. But I will blog about Christmas LATER.

Charlie on Zoey

Naptime after grocery shopping

Saddle up, Chuck!

***

Tonight, after cleaning canned clam chowder from Charlie's eager face and body, after letting Charlie fall asleep in my arms in the quiet of a house without other children (Brian took Gabe and Lucy to get dinner), after convincing Gabe to visit the bathroom before putting on his new Spiderman pjs (while Brian read to Lucy), after moving our "operation" in order to keep Gabe company in the dark so he could or would fall asleep (while Brian stepped out to play late-night basketball)... I told Gabe a story.

This was a custom-crafted, 100% from-scratch story designed to keep his attention from straying: a Mom Special.

There was this horse, see--and it always helps my kids if they get to name the main character, so we had a horse named "Jake." Jake-the-Horse had a bit of an obsession with... Batman! (The last book Gabe chose was a Batman book--all crime-fighting and heroism.) Jake-the-Horse reads all the books he can about Batman (on the sly, because he doesn't want anyone to know). Jake-the-Horse dreams about one day meeting Batman. One night, Jake has a fantastic dream about having an indispensable role in helping Batman save the day. Alas, he wakes and has to get a grip on reality. With the help of his horse friend, Gabe-the-Horse, Jake-the-Horse again comes to appreciate his own life and his own hard work. However... (Dun dun dun.) One day, Jake's dream comes true. Jake sees a stranger approach, dressed in black. He...looks...like...Batman! Batman's motorcycle has been tampered with and he needs to go help stop a criminal from hurting people. He sees Jake, finds Jake's owner, gets permission to take Jake, and rides off to save the day. Jake-the-Horse is a hero, (prepared for this fateful adventure by a strong work ethic and a positive attitude) and has weekly visits with Batman for the rest of his life.

After telling this story, I think I've stretched it long enough to let Gabe fall asleep. He isn't moving. He has been quiet the whole time. It's dark so it's hard to tell... The story seems to have lasted ten or twenty minutes--I really piled it on! I am feeling a little proud, actually. A few good character-building themes, some good vocabulary, a decent story-arc with opening, climax and and a poignant, happy resolution...

After telling this story, Gabe rolls over and says to me, "Mom, Batman is silver."

Gabe in bilibo

For those of you who are on the edge of your seats, dying to know what happened after Gabe told me that Batman is silver: he rolled over and fell asleep, holding Charlie's ear.