Monday, August 26, 2013

08.26.2013 -- For Good

Today is hard.

We have been operating under the assumption that both Gabe and Lucy would be heading to school this week.  However, Gabe doesn't start yet.  Who do you think was more disappointed this morning--Gabe or me?  Heaven only knows.

I'm not a big planner.  When I actually do get a plan in place and it falls through, well.  I tend to...  mope.  So there's that.

And I got really, truly, incredibly sad news today.  My friend died.  And although David died only once, I find myself mourning twice for him.  Once as a friend and once as my dear friend's husband.  They have a family full of adorable small children and are just the best people on the planet.  He was young, friends.

This may be a strange memory to keep, but perhaps my most potent memory of David will forever be his telling a joke about a man who is trying to get into his car in the middle of the night in the bitter cold.  He's in this packed parking lot...  He's freezing cold...  He tries his key in the lock and, just as he thought, the lock is frozen.  He looks around and, seeing no one else around, he thinks out of the box to solve his problem.  All of a sudden, he gets a tap on his shoulder and is surprised by a stranger.

The punch line (and joke) were in French and there is really no comparison to David's perfect delivery on this...  "Ahem...  Vous êtes entrain d'uriner sur ma voiture."

There it is.  My favorite memory of David.  He was a funny, funny, funny person, with an artist's eye, and the most impeccable taste in women.  (His wife, Amy, is amazing.)

I do believe in angels. So I imagine him being out of pain and constantly near his loved ones now.   That's not a bad thought, but I imagine losing my husband...  and that just... crushes me.   I think about his kids not having him around...  and that makes me weep.

There's nothing to do though, is there?
Seconds pass and turn into years, and people come and go.
Accidents take them.
Illness.
Cancer.                  

No matter how much we think we need them.