Tuesday, March 25, 2014

03.25.2014 -- Ch-Ch-Changes

If I were the type to hyperventilate, I would be hyperventilating, I think.

My niece is going to have a baby.

This bumps me back a generation!

I got about 60% of my hair cut off today, and colored.  It turns out I have a decent amount of gray hair.

I like change, or at least, I like to say that I like change.  In reality, change makes me nervous. It makes my mind race. It makes me reevaluate my life and my choices more than normal, and I find myself trying to evaluate my life and my choices a lot even on the most standard days.

I have two nephews on missions.  Three nieces have graduated high school. Gabe will be entering  kindergarten in a few months, and Charlie will be in preschool.

I like change, I do.

I just want to be able to do things perfectly, that's all. I just want to be a perfect mom and a perfect aunt, a perfect wife... You get the picture. Sadly, I routinely forget birthdays.  I forget important meetings. I neglect to follow through on things like daily violin practice. I don't do laundry every day or even every week.  I hardly ever iron.


I have worry wrinkles.  Or are those deep thought wrinkles?  Let's go with deep thoughts.

There are some big decisions that weigh heavy on my mind right now:  Lucy has asked to reenter the gymnastics program at her gym.  That is a big commitment of money and time, but a worthy pursuit. Gabe will be eligible to enter a Chinese Immersion program at the local elementary school.  I have him in a Chinese/English Preschool right now, and he often complains about having to go. For me, the gift of learning a second language so young is such a valuable one, that I am willing to push him into it.  I almost don't care if he likes Chinese. ...And what if he loves it?  What if he falls in love with the language and the culture and moves to China when he's an adult and I rarely see him or my grandchildren?

See what I'm working with?

No wonder I have wrinkles.