When I was growing up, there was a family--I'll call them the Yahoos--who were infamous for not having a television. Not one. If we were to find a current equivalent, it might be like finding a family who didn't have internet or smart phones.
Years later, news about the family worked its way among the people who still (or used to) live in the neighborhood.
Emily turned out to be a knockout.
Yes!
Remember those braces and the hair?
...and Aaron is CEO now of Big Fancy Coorporation!
There will always be those families--you know the ones--the outliers. They're the ones who are more intense, or less. The ones who spend time differently--the ones who dress differently or... just act differently. They're weird, scary, or don't meet community standards. Outliers. They stand out, and often, they stand outside. Maybe you come from one of those families. Maybe you are one of these families.
We all thought we had the Yahoos figured out: they were backward--had no social skills and were... not attractive. We were wrong.
Some families "are all lazy," or "are alcoholics." They're "dropouts and good-for-nothings." True? How about the kid from the lazy family who got a job weeding at the local farm when he was 14 and rode the bus there and back? What about the kid from the family of alcoholics who never touched a drop and became an award-winning teacher? What about the kid from the family of good-for-nothings who worked his way up the corporate ladder and now manages strategy implementation for the region?
Furthermore, what about the kid from the family of "the best people" who is addicted to heroin and has a long criminal record? What about the kid whose parents are teachers who got caught cheating on that big test? What about the kid from the "rich family" who panhandles and lives on the street?
The point is, when we refer to families as a whole, making blanket statements or judgements, we are almost always wrong. Yes, some members of the family might fit the stereotype, but, even when humans come from the same family and live in the same house--sharing so much--people are just too different to be seen accurately unless they're seen as individuals.
I'm reading How to be an Anti-Racist right now, and this is how my brain made sense of the Ibram X. Kendi's message.
First: Anyone (and mostly...everyone) can be (or is) racist some of the time.
Second: Racism is simply a failure to see or look for the individual. It is racist to say "white people don't care about food." It isn't racist to say Ben Smythe doesn't care about food. It is racist to say "blacks are allergic to everything," because many black people don't have allergies at all. It's racist to say (racial group) are greedy and don't care about other people. It's racist to say (racial group) are generous and loving.
Because individuals cannot be defined by their race.
Simple, right? The task at hand, maybe, is to start noticing racism, and to (as he says) take the stigma out of saying something or someone is being racist. Awareness is the first step.
Simple, right? The task at hand, maybe, is to start noticing racism, and to (as he says) take the stigma out of saying something or someone is being racist. Awareness is the first step.
