What I get when I try to keep Gabe awake by sitting him on the rug to watch me while I vacuum.When people ask me what's new in my life, I don't know what to say.
Is there nothing new in my life?
Well, it's all relative, I guess: How recent does a change have to be to be considered new? How big an alteration in routine is considered a change? I have a hard time avoiding a mental rehearsal of these questions when I find myself trying to answer this question. (Even though I am aware that 99% of askers don't really care what I answer.)
Honestly, I feel like my life is stalled right now. Like my car metaphor? I am going to go ahead and call it apt for this reason: I don't know much about cars. Wouldn't know much at all about getting a car to stop stalling.
I started feeling this way around the end of the calendar year. Didn't help things that I was sicker than I've been in a while. (Ever? Wait--no. Not sicker than I've been ever.) I'm pretty much back to normal, which is still pretty much flailing around while continuing to hit a (surprising) number of benchmarks.
These days, most of my energy is going to decisions. Not decisions that need to be made in two minutes. Long, drawn-out, tortuously-delayed decisions. Here is an incomplete and randomly ordered list of my concerns:
- Lucy turning five 11 days before the kindergarten cut-off. She is not exceptionally driven to spend much time writing or coloring. She knows most of her capital letters and very few in the lower-case. Socially, she's sort of good to go, but it's still not all that unusual for her to throw a fit. Her motor skills are average or below average for her age, from what I think I've observed. (They probably haven't been helped by her two shunt operations.) I just don't know if I want to slip her into school knowing that she'll be playing catch-up for four years. (Yes, I've done my homework. Third grade is where it tends to even out.) I know that September is a long way off and that Lucy will do fine whatever we decide. I just can't stop weighing these factors. I think I've made a decision (Brian has said that he will go with my decision), but I will still be officially undeclared until late summer.
- Next: Gabe still sleeps in our bed. Gasp! Horror! One part of me is very comfortable with this. One part of me is ashamed (that I am too big a wimp to get him to sleep in his own crib.) My description of this 'problem' could get a lot more involved, but in the end, it's not that complicated.
- Mmmmn hmm. Neeext: Brian has found a good deal for a time share on a Lake Powell houseboat. He thinks it can't last, what with the boat show whetting Utahns' appetite for reservoirs and petroleum-based recreation, and all.
- Last on this list: I still have lots of house projects that I need to "finish." Lots. Inside and out. I need to prioritize.
When confronted with this seriousness, I am easily drawn to reading fiction or "researching" random things on the web. Books I've read lately include: The Elegance of the Hedgehog, These is my Words, The Undaunted, The Help, and some truly obscure non-fiction genealogical texts on my own personal relatives. Reading is a guilty pleasure for me, so I try to keep it to a minimum. I am happier when I use my time keeping household entropy at bay, parenting the kids or recharging myself by "getting out."
What's new?
*Lucy made our family dinner last night. Open-faced broiled cold-cut and cheese sandwiches. Her idea. Everyone enjoyed them. It's pretty amusing to watch her tote Gabe around because she's not much bigger than he is, but they like it. Lucy is now in Kinder II gymnastics classes. She's working on cartwheels--seems to be internalizing the idea that practice will help her improve! She's got a major crush on her gymnastics teacher, Ryun, and is "in love" with a boy named Davis in her preschool class. The girl loves to play with friends, and is the "pinkest tomboy" our friend Sarah has ever met.
*Gabe and I just signed up for a mommy and me class at Lucy's gym. We've been twice. First time was good. Second time was better...and worse. Gabe didn't wander so much, but kept toddling off toward the other end of the gym to watch his sister. That seems contradictory, but it's not. :) Gabe is eager to play where the big kids play and makes funny sputtering noises (with his mouth) when he's exerting himself hard. He's strong, brave and enthusiastic.
*Brian has taken up basketball again. He plays some at night and on Saturday mornings. We've been to a few of his Saturday games: Surprisingly fun, although a bit long for the kids' attention spans. Brian hasn't done a lot of skiing this winter, but has gotten himself involved with rehabilitating a ski cat with friends.
-My yoga practice has all but disappeared. I plan to find it again on Saturday. In the meantime, I have a small track-record of showing up to get myself 'trained' to a pulp once a week. It only takes me 4-5 days to recover. A good bit of my free time is spent working on projects for church. (I am (capital) Primary (capital) Secretary. This means that I do lots of secretarial-type stuff for the primary program, which includes all kids in the congregation between the ages of 3 and 11: around 100 in all.) Good stuff.
I guess that's what's new.
