Lessons I learned from my Granny.
Details are important, but people are more important. Details make a difference. If you can have cut flowers, have them. A hot entree is better served on warmed plates. Spending time cutting carrots in a precise julienne is not a waste of time. Yes, details are important. As good as she was at details, though, Gran was gracious and kind in the implementation of her designs.
Viewing people in their best light. Years ago as a kid, I was playing in Gran's room, just spending time with her. She started going through some snapshots and included me. We came across a few that she put into the garbage can, saying, "I don't think we need to keep pictures that aren't flattering to people, do you?" Honestly, the idea was completely new to me--that you could select and keep only good pictures. And why not? I like to think that those bad pictures in the trash may have been a microcosm of a world view which allowed little room for memories where loved ones were not at their best.
There, but for the grace of God, go I. Gran was not the first person to utter this axiom. I have heard it from others, yet, for some reason, I always associate this with her. As pulled-together and as blessed as she was on so many levels, I never, never got the impression that she thought she was better than any other person, or that she was more deserving.
Finding a way. As my grandparents grew older, my Granddad's hearing grew worse. He lost his ability to easily hear the naturally higher tones of Granny's voice. One of my favorite memories of Granny was the way she communicated with my Granddad when he was having trouble hearing her. If he didn't hear her, she would repeat herself, but with her voice lowered a few octaves so it sounded like she was imitating a man. Funny? Yes. She found the humor in it, too, milking it a little for an audience with a twinkle in her eye--but it worked. To me, it is a perfect example of her willingness to cooperate--to step outside herself. From this, I learned not to let pride or convention get in the way of something truly important, like talking with your spouse.
Making do. Granny had a collection of beautiful hand-painted dishes which she brought home from one of her trips abroad. These dishes were used for all kinds of meals. She loved them and she used them. Because they got used, they were sometimes broken. When I set the table for my Granny, we always used plates and bowls which had been carefully reconstructed by my grandfather. These broken-and-mended dishes were used indiscriminately along with the perfect dishes, and there were never any apologies about it. From this, I learned that there was no shame in using imperfect or rehabilitated things.
