Every once in a blue moon, someone I care about who is unfamiliar with the LDS faith will ask me about it. I bungle it every time. The problem is that it is such a deep part of me that I struggle to find a starting point and any kind of linear thinking that explains it well. What ends up happening is sort of like trying to show someone an enormous map in the dark using a couple of flashlights. Some people are very good at articulating this kind of thing. I have never felt comfortable talking about it with people who are not of my faith.
Isn't that sad?
I remember a "discussion" about Mormonism I had with a loved one years ago. It actually sort of wounded me. Suffice to say that "faith" is not an action word in this person's life. I think that if "faith" were to appear in a personal dictionary, this person would add a footnote: see Naive, Gullible, Stupid.
Maybe this is one reason why I am so reluctant to talk candidly about the role faith has in my life. I never want to feel that way again. Actually, I do talk about faith--with people I think will understand. I don't put myself out there much, though.
I find it hard to separate myself from a third-person kind of view that alerts me to things that sound strange. Sort of like...Oh. "About two-thousand years ago, a baby boy was born to a virgin. He was the only son of God. He lived a perfect life, then was killed, but rose from the dead. Because of this, us mortals have a chance to spend the rest of time in heaven. Without Jesus, we wouldn't stand a snowball's chance."
What a ridiculous story!! And yet, I am not alone in this world when I say that the truth of this story is a cornerstone in my life. There are millions and millions of us who believe. There are millions of us who hold the Bible to be a sacred text. Sort of a looong letter from God (as told to prophets) to men and women, pointing us in the right direction.
The story of Joseph Smith, the restoration of Christ's church, and the Book of Mormon are equally important to me. They make just as much sense. But to tell you the truth, my own faith, if dissected, would show itself to be made up mostly of day-to-day happenings at my home, in my community, in the world, at church or through modern LDS publications (publication, revelation). If you can believe in a god or gods...if you can believe that God cared enough to let His Only Begotten Son suffer life and death on earth, why is it a stretch to believe that he cares enough now to provide guidance today?
To say faith is personal is too little, I think. I also think that it is possible that for some people, it might be painful in some way for me to talk about the role of faith in my life, but I really don't know. This faith has always been part of who I am. It brings goodness to my life. Every time I act as a better Mormon, I act as a better person: more kind, more willing to serve, more willing to share, more patient, more faithful, more understanding, more proactive, more truthful, more loving. More Mormon. I will always be human--I make mistakes every day. But I feel like I'm headed in the right direction.
If you find yourself wanting to know more about Mormonism, go to this site. You know those Mormon Messages? Those are propaganda, but they're honest and they're accurate. Most Mormons I know actually try to walk the walk. Those Mormon Messages are a good window into my Mormon soul. If you want to know more, then go to local meetings on Sunday, spend time with Mormons, meet with some LDS missionaries. ...Or I could try to explain it to you. Just turn off the lights and give me a couple of flashlights.
