“When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God." And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
and to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.”
I did this on my iPad, and it took way too much time. I also tried to add my own text after explaining why I posted what I did (above). That text is on my iPad, and I will add it later. That's probably the last time I try to post from my iPad.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
02.02.2011 -- Wheels That Come Off and Precious
Tonight, in an effort to promote literacy in my family, I had Lucy and Gabe sit down to write. Lucy started to write some of her high frequency words from school then drew a picture of herself. This turned into a note for her dad. Gabe scribbled. While they worked, I decided it wouldn't hurt for me to write something, too.
In this stream-of-consciousness writing, I began to realize why the "wheels have come off" of our little bus this week. There are a lot of reasons:
It's early-out week for SEP conferences. (I haven't figured out what SEP stands for: Student Educator Parent?) The schedule is early out each day, which means that our day begins earlier every day and Lucy is in school for only 2 hours every day. Now, I start to get ready to leave the house a minimum of 1 hour before I aim to leave, so early-out for a week ends up being pretty bad. (Add to this scheduling mess a two-year-old who is accustomed to taking his nap (conveniently) when I usually drop Lucy off for school, but who will not fall asleep when I drop her off during the short schedule, and you really add to the mess.) Gabe missed his nap completely on Monday, and boy, did everyone pay! I'm surprised he didn't lose his voice with all of the screaming and crying he did when we (mostly Brian) tried to get him to bed.
Another factor this week has been Brian--there have been huge changes at work and he's trying to get his normal work done in addition to accommodating all of the changes. This all translates into longer hours, which means longer hours for me... And did you know that "we" don't like to eat without Brian? We don't. I am willing to compromise once in a while, but Lucy always waits for her daddy. This means that, even though the kids get hungry at 5pm, we wait until their favorite person (Daddy) gets home at 6, 7 or even later. On one hand, it gives me more time to get dinner and the house together, on the other hand, it means more time being a single mother. All things considered, it's probably a wash, stress wise, but it adds to the general mess.
Where the disorder is most evident is the laundry room. I keep up with laundry sometimes, but most of the time, it's one of the first things to fail. Right now, for example, we have a lot of clean laundry, it's just all piled together. ..And I am blogging. See how I am?
This brings me to my next thought:
Lucy brought home a book from school today. It's just a little paperback copy of The Magic Treehouse. We've already read almost half of it. It was a gift from her classmate, Remy, in honor of their classmate, Eliza. (I think Remy is Eliza's cousin.) On the front of the book is a large red sticker that says "Eliza's Wish" on it. I've seen this sticker before--on a book in our pediatrician's office.
The first time I read the story behind Eliza's Wish in the doctor's office, Lucy asked me why I was crying. Today, I made a connection in my poor little brain, and Lucy asked again why I was crying. Eliza is in Lucy's kindergarten class. I knew Eliza and her family were special before, but I know more now.
Follow this link to learn more about Eliza and her AMAZING family. ( And that is my excuse for blogging instead of putting away laundry.) Life is short and precious.
Short and precious!
In this stream-of-consciousness writing, I began to realize why the "wheels have come off" of our little bus this week. There are a lot of reasons:
It's early-out week for SEP conferences. (I haven't figured out what SEP stands for: Student Educator Parent?) The schedule is early out each day, which means that our day begins earlier every day and Lucy is in school for only 2 hours every day. Now, I start to get ready to leave the house a minimum of 1 hour before I aim to leave, so early-out for a week ends up being pretty bad. (Add to this scheduling mess a two-year-old who is accustomed to taking his nap (conveniently) when I usually drop Lucy off for school, but who will not fall asleep when I drop her off during the short schedule, and you really add to the mess.) Gabe missed his nap completely on Monday, and boy, did everyone pay! I'm surprised he didn't lose his voice with all of the screaming and crying he did when we (mostly Brian) tried to get him to bed.
Another factor this week has been Brian--there have been huge changes at work and he's trying to get his normal work done in addition to accommodating all of the changes. This all translates into longer hours, which means longer hours for me... And did you know that "we" don't like to eat without Brian? We don't. I am willing to compromise once in a while, but Lucy always waits for her daddy. This means that, even though the kids get hungry at 5pm, we wait until their favorite person (Daddy) gets home at 6, 7 or even later. On one hand, it gives me more time to get dinner and the house together, on the other hand, it means more time being a single mother. All things considered, it's probably a wash, stress wise, but it adds to the general mess.
Where the disorder is most evident is the laundry room. I keep up with laundry sometimes, but most of the time, it's one of the first things to fail. Right now, for example, we have a lot of clean laundry, it's just all piled together. ..And I am blogging. See how I am?
This brings me to my next thought:
Lucy brought home a book from school today. It's just a little paperback copy of The Magic Treehouse. We've already read almost half of it. It was a gift from her classmate, Remy, in honor of their classmate, Eliza. (I think Remy is Eliza's cousin.) On the front of the book is a large red sticker that says "Eliza's Wish" on it. I've seen this sticker before--on a book in our pediatrician's office.
The first time I read the story behind Eliza's Wish in the doctor's office, Lucy asked me why I was crying. Today, I made a connection in my poor little brain, and Lucy asked again why I was crying. Eliza is in Lucy's kindergarten class. I knew Eliza and her family were special before, but I know more now.
Follow this link to learn more about Eliza and her AMAZING family. ( And that is my excuse for blogging instead of putting away laundry.) Life is short and precious.
Short and precious!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
01.30.2011 -- Funny Kids...
Some things that I don't want to forget:
Lucy calls mayonnaise "homemade." This may be due to a story I recently told Brian about homemade mayonnaise.
Lucy uses the word university for universe, as in, "You are the best mom in the University!"
Today when recounting the nativity story, Lucy got to the part about the inn which was full and said, "Mary and Joseph got to the P.E.M. and it was full, so they stayed in the stable."
Gabe does not like his pants too high on his waist. When he feels his pants are too high, he says, "No Grandma!" Not "No, Grandma!" Although I'm not exactly sure what he means, it comes off as, "I'm not wearing my pants like Grandma wears hers!"
Yesterday, Gabe serenaded me and Lucy. He stood tall on the ottoman and sang our names (and Charlie's), arms wide open, with a lovely vibrato at the end. Maybe the kid has perfect pitch: he tells me, "No singing!" all the time.
Lucy can hardly keep herself away from Charlie. She is drawn to him and fawns over him gently declaring her love for each and every part of him. For example, "I just love the shape of Charlie's head...and his ears (they're so perfect and tiny)!!"
Gabe is a little different: Gabe wants to hold Charlie as much as Lucy does, but he's satisfied with a few second's worth of assisted brother holding. Gabe does croon over Charlie, but he's much more likely to run to Charlie and shout, "Charlie!" or "baby brother!" in his face.
The past few days, Gabe has developed a routine where he stomps around with his chest puffed out saying, "Giant!!" When we move out of his way with fear in our eyes, it makes a huge grin appear on his face.
Lucy calls mayonnaise "homemade." This may be due to a story I recently told Brian about homemade mayonnaise.
Lucy uses the word university for universe, as in, "You are the best mom in the University!"
Today when recounting the nativity story, Lucy got to the part about the inn which was full and said, "Mary and Joseph got to the P.E.M. and it was full, so they stayed in the stable."
Gabe does not like his pants too high on his waist. When he feels his pants are too high, he says, "No Grandma!" Not "No, Grandma!" Although I'm not exactly sure what he means, it comes off as, "I'm not wearing my pants like Grandma wears hers!"
Yesterday, Gabe serenaded me and Lucy. He stood tall on the ottoman and sang our names (and Charlie's), arms wide open, with a lovely vibrato at the end. Maybe the kid has perfect pitch: he tells me, "No singing!" all the time.
Lucy can hardly keep herself away from Charlie. She is drawn to him and fawns over him gently declaring her love for each and every part of him. For example, "I just love the shape of Charlie's head...and his ears (they're so perfect and tiny)!!"
Gabe is a little different: Gabe wants to hold Charlie as much as Lucy does, but he's satisfied with a few second's worth of assisted brother holding. Gabe does croon over Charlie, but he's much more likely to run to Charlie and shout, "Charlie!" or "baby brother!" in his face.
The past few days, Gabe has developed a routine where he stomps around with his chest puffed out saying, "Giant!!" When we move out of his way with fear in our eyes, it makes a huge grin appear on his face.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
01.16.11 -- A Drop in the Bucket
So much to say.
There's a new person living here. He's very sweet. His name is Charles. He goes by Charlie, mostly.
As for names and naming, I have this to say. Brian and I are either serious rebels or serious ingrates... Why? We have broken tradition. We have given our children (mostly) their own names and no one elses. There is a long standing tradition among upstanding standers of naming people after people. Well, we had a lot of people we wanted to honor by naming our kids after them, but we ended up *not.* Here's my theory: There are so many people that we hope our children will emulate, that we couldn't choose between them all, so we struck out on the less traveled path of names. But really, it comes down to me. I am the one who is so particular about names. I'm almost a little superstitious about them. Well, superstitious wouldn't really be the right word. I can't help but think of the meaning, is all--and the origin, and the sound of the whole name and the initials, etc. And then, of course, there's no accounting for taste. I am a fan of traditional names, and Brian leans more to unusual names. This is why our kids have traditional first names and less traditional middle names. Our thinking was that if they ever start to hate their boring first names, they can always start going by their funky middle names. Another way to see it is that we (I) are (am) not brave enough to give them a truly different name as a first name.
Anyway, there is obviously a lot more for me to write in order to get up to date on things around here--a birth story, for example... But this is what I've got for now.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
12.25.2010 -- Christmas
I'm sitting here alone in a very quiet house. I can hear the refrigerator. Lucy just squeaked in her sleep. Other than that, all of the noise comes from me, but I'm being very quiet. Not like yesterday.
Yesterday, I woke up convinced that our house smelled like dog. No offense to our sweet dog, Zoey or to other dogs out there, or to individuals who love the smell of dogs, but it wasn't really what I was going for, so I broke out the vacuum while the rest of the house was asleep and sucked up all the dog hair I could before I went to do some squats and jumping pull-ups. (That sounds funny, but it's true.) When I got home, I had time to give Zoey a good shower before I cleaned up some more. Brian asked me seriously yesterday, "Val, are you nesting?" Funny. (And as to the answer, only time will tell!)
So I'm trying to be nice this morning, allowing everyone else to sleep; and I get to wait. How long? Twenty minutes? Two hours? More than likely, I will be waiting closer to two hours for the rest of the family to rouse. Gabe was up with a stuffy nose, but after a tantrum (7.5 out of 10 for intensity), is back to sleep snuggled in with his Daddy. I haven't blogged for a while, so here I am!
Last night, Lucy realized that she hadn't sent off a letter to Santa, so we composed one on the computer. Here's the list that came out last night (it has changed some since she started answering peoples' requests to know what she wants from Santa):
Cheerleading, soccer clothes , and a beauty salon for her doll, Julie
Fuzzy socks *
Locket necklace (with her mom and dad inside)
A red and black ladybug PillowPet *
Fake snow for her doll to play in
A doll angel
Pretend roses
Footie PJs (three pair, please) *
A beautiful Christmas dress with glitter on it *
A smelly candle
A picture of Santa and Mrs. Claus
In addition to this, Lucy has requested:
A pretend gun, a pair of fuzzy socks with racecars on them, a big play pot and a pretend plant to water--on behalf of Gabe.
For Brian, Lucy asked for two (real) small shovels, red and black.
For her mother? Lucy asked for a "comfy place for her to sleep, like a bed."
This brings me to my sleeping situation. Pretty early on in this pregnancy, I asked Brian to bring the love sac upstairs so I could sleep there. It was the perfect place for me to sleep and get relief from my only real complaint about pregnancy: heartburn. About a month ago, the love sac was a little hard for me to crawl out of, so I tried sleeping in bed, but found that it was difficult to roll over because I sort of stuck in the memory foam. I ended up on the couch. I also occasionally end up in bed with Lucy, because I am aware of (or think I am) how fast she is growing up and I've regarded those hours as a few stolen moments of fast-disappearing snuggle time.
So for Christmas, my (o-so-sweet) daughter has requested a place for me to sleep. Bless her heart. It has been working out better for me to sleep in my own bed, and with Lucy's request to Santa in mind, I actually slept in my own bed last night. Yay!
***
After the house is asleep.
I need to fill in the blanks, but let me just say that today has been phenomenal. So good. So nice. So magical. Christmas is for children, and we have two of them!
Lucy got almost nothing on her "list," but was thrilled anyway. Just like on her birthday and at Christmas last year, she was incredibly excited about everything and declared that many of the gifts were "just what she always wanted." *She got fuzzy socks, a unicorn PillowPet from GrandmaJudy, one pair of footie PJs (not Christmas themed), and some very fancy dresses (for dress-up).
As the main shopper, I feel like I got it right with the amount of gifts for the kids, and that all of what they received will be fun and good for them.
Gabe was very happy and obviously liked his tool kit, Duplo Legos, scooter and Mickey Mouse pjs a lot.
Brian spoiled me, which is normal around here. (Sounds so trite to say he "spoils me." Maybe instead, I should say that he got me way more than I needed or asked for, but that I really love what he gave me...and it wasn't just gifts--enough bragging, already!) We were fortunate to be surrounded by people we love, which made the day that much better. It was, as has been said before, and certainly by better people: a day for the record books.
(I woke up first today and now am going to bed last. I guess I just don't want to let this day go.)
...
Non sequitur about birthdates: A few weeks ago and even a few days ago, I was pretty down on the idea of having a Christmas baby. HOWEVER, today, I have found myself sincerely thinking that it would be a lot of fun. The difference is that I know a family who has twins who were born on Christmas and they celebrate a half birthday (in June). That's what I would want to do. All kinds of solutions to all kinds of "problems."
Yesterday, I woke up convinced that our house smelled like dog. No offense to our sweet dog, Zoey or to other dogs out there, or to individuals who love the smell of dogs, but it wasn't really what I was going for, so I broke out the vacuum while the rest of the house was asleep and sucked up all the dog hair I could before I went to do some squats and jumping pull-ups. (That sounds funny, but it's true.) When I got home, I had time to give Zoey a good shower before I cleaned up some more. Brian asked me seriously yesterday, "Val, are you nesting?" Funny. (And as to the answer, only time will tell!)
So I'm trying to be nice this morning, allowing everyone else to sleep; and I get to wait. How long? Twenty minutes? Two hours? More than likely, I will be waiting closer to two hours for the rest of the family to rouse. Gabe was up with a stuffy nose, but after a tantrum (7.5 out of 10 for intensity), is back to sleep snuggled in with his Daddy. I haven't blogged for a while, so here I am!
Last night, Lucy realized that she hadn't sent off a letter to Santa, so we composed one on the computer. Here's the list that came out last night (it has changed some since she started answering peoples' requests to know what she wants from Santa):
Cheerleading, soccer clothes , and a beauty salon for her doll, Julie
Fuzzy socks *
Locket necklace (with her mom and dad inside)
A red and black ladybug PillowPet *
Fake snow for her doll to play in
A doll angel
Pretend roses
Footie PJs (three pair, please) *
A beautiful Christmas dress with glitter on it *
A smelly candle
A picture of Santa and Mrs. Claus
In addition to this, Lucy has requested:
A pretend gun, a pair of fuzzy socks with racecars on them, a big play pot and a pretend plant to water--on behalf of Gabe.
For Brian, Lucy asked for two (real) small shovels, red and black.
For her mother? Lucy asked for a "comfy place for her to sleep, like a bed."
This brings me to my sleeping situation. Pretty early on in this pregnancy, I asked Brian to bring the love sac upstairs so I could sleep there. It was the perfect place for me to sleep and get relief from my only real complaint about pregnancy: heartburn. About a month ago, the love sac was a little hard for me to crawl out of, so I tried sleeping in bed, but found that it was difficult to roll over because I sort of stuck in the memory foam. I ended up on the couch. I also occasionally end up in bed with Lucy, because I am aware of (or think I am) how fast she is growing up and I've regarded those hours as a few stolen moments of fast-disappearing snuggle time.
So for Christmas, my (o-so-sweet) daughter has requested a place for me to sleep. Bless her heart. It has been working out better for me to sleep in my own bed, and with Lucy's request to Santa in mind, I actually slept in my own bed last night. Yay!
***
After the house is asleep.
I need to fill in the blanks, but let me just say that today has been phenomenal. So good. So nice. So magical. Christmas is for children, and we have two of them!
Lucy got almost nothing on her "list," but was thrilled anyway. Just like on her birthday and at Christmas last year, she was incredibly excited about everything and declared that many of the gifts were "just what she always wanted." *She got fuzzy socks, a unicorn PillowPet from GrandmaJudy, one pair of footie PJs (not Christmas themed), and some very fancy dresses (for dress-up).
As the main shopper, I feel like I got it right with the amount of gifts for the kids, and that all of what they received will be fun and good for them.
Gabe was very happy and obviously liked his tool kit, Duplo Legos, scooter and Mickey Mouse pjs a lot.
Brian spoiled me, which is normal around here. (Sounds so trite to say he "spoils me." Maybe instead, I should say that he got me way more than I needed or asked for, but that I really love what he gave me...and it wasn't just gifts--enough bragging, already!) We were fortunate to be surrounded by people we love, which made the day that much better. It was, as has been said before, and certainly by better people: a day for the record books.
(I woke up first today and now am going to bed last. I guess I just don't want to let this day go.)
...
Non sequitur about birthdates: A few weeks ago and even a few days ago, I was pretty down on the idea of having a Christmas baby. HOWEVER, today, I have found myself sincerely thinking that it would be a lot of fun. The difference is that I know a family who has twins who were born on Christmas and they celebrate a half birthday (in June). That's what I would want to do. All kinds of solutions to all kinds of "problems."
Monday, December 6, 2010
12.06.2010 -- Mickey Mouse
Gabe has developed a thing for Mickey Mouse. I got him a retro t-shirt with a bunch of Disney character heads on it, and he calls it his "mimouse" shirt. He has the tiniest lisp which is HEARTMELTING. When I help him put this shirt on, I can't help but think that there is the slightest resemblance between Gabe and the mouse.
(As long as I'm making a point of comparing, I may as well point out that it's this more modern version of Mickey Mouse with eyebrows that makes me think of Gabe.)
(As long as I'm making a point of comparing, I may as well point out that it's this more modern version of Mickey Mouse with eyebrows that makes me think of Gabe.)
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