There have been a lot of things in my life that have been completely unexpected. Not that having four children happened overnight or happened without my consent. But I never made plans for it as a kid. Its funny to me to think how much time I spent daydreaming as a kid - about what my life would be like as an adult. I used to go on long walks alone at night, and I spent the whole time thinking that out there, somewhere, probably, was a boy that one day would be my husband. What a waste of time! There is no way to know what our future holds!
As (one of my aunts) wisely pointed out once, "for people who plan, frustration comes when their plans don't work out. For people who don't plan, frustration comes when they're working their way through." I shouldn't even attribute that to her. When she said it, it was understandable, eloquent, and made perfect sense. I mangled it. (But sometimes, I choose to settle for what I can do - and that falls SO short of perfection!)
On that note: Thanksgiving has come and gone! Some people seem to be able to produce a perfect dinner party! Perfect food, perfect decor, perfect table settings, perfect clothes and hair... Everything. I'm appreciative of that level of execution, but I find that I lack the patience to produce flawless things. I'm not interested in that degree of quality control.
We were invited to Thanksgiving dinner at my sister-in-law's house. It was really nice. She is pretty close to perfection herself. Meanwhile, at our house, while some people have Christmas fully up and going, our kids are still reading Halloween books and singing Halloween songs! (We have some Christmas songs in the mix, too.)
A few days before Charlie was born, I came to the realization that if we were going to have 3 kids in our family, I had to come to terms with the fact that much in our lives would be imperfect. (Understate things much?) Sometimes I forget this important bit of wisdom (usually after I have spent maybe a little too much energy cleaning the house). With 4 children, it's a little different. Mostly because the three oldest are capable of so much. The house is a lot more manageable now, so the focus is more on behavior. Now, I try to remember that perfection is a little much to ask from any of us.
